Background: Diego Serna spent six years in MLS. When he first arrived here from Colombia, he did quite well and was even named to the 2001 MLS Best XI. But, his last few years were marred by injury and unproductive. In 2000, prior to the decline of his career, Serna did set one infamous MLS record though. A strange one for a F, too.

Career: Serna is the all-time leading scorer for the Miami Fusion. Since that team is now defunct, he will likely hold that record longer than Bob Beamon (well, actually for infinity). He also played in MLS for the MetroStars, Revs, and Galaxy. While the Miami Fusion are gone, Serna is now back in South Beach playing soccer though with Miami FC.

Dishonors: Diego plays striker. His job is to draw fouls, not inflict them on opponents. Yet, in 2000, Serna was whistled a shocking 83 times, an MLS record. Juan Toja matched said record in 2007, but his mullet hair is so sweet it prevents him from making the Hall of Shame. Serna’s insane season of violations and lackluster hair earn him a spot.

Legacy: Diego Serna is fondly remembered (and still cheered) by Miami soccer fans, so my inclusion of him in the H.O.S. series is more tongue-in-cheek than malicious (can’t say the same for Becks and Blanco). He does hold a pretty ugly MLS single season record, so I think he won’t be too upset. What is it that they say, Diego?

No harm, no foul?

Background: You knew I couldn’t resist, didn’t you? I have not hesitated to criticize MLS, Becks, the Gals, and Alexi Lalas in the past. The Beckham Experiment has failed. The hypothesis was gravely flawed. The fallout will be crushing. MLS always said they would be different than the NASL. They would be about teams, not star players. They lied.

Becks came, he saw, and now he will soon go. Good riddance. Has he looked better this year? Sure. But then again, he hasn’t been around all that long. He wants to leave, so I say let him go. I have no idea if Capello will select him for S. Africa in 2010. I hope he does in some sick way.

Career: You see, I used to love Beckham before he came to the States and sullied the image of my local league. He had a heroic career with Man U. He did some decent things for Real when he was healthy too. While he has failed to deliver trophies for England, he has been fun to watch. He’s still a good player too (at least from a set piece). I kid. The guy can play.

Dishonors: But, Becks’ indecision about his future a few years ago has now caused our MLS much chagrin. When it looked like his 2010 dreams would end up nightmares, he went to LA, met his Maverick, and prepared to geriatically move around US pitches. But, Capello brought him back. Now he thinks 2010 is a possibility. He has changed his mind.

Legacy: Beckham’s legacy is still undecided. If he leaves for good, he will be remembered as the Brit who could sell soccer to everyone in the world, except the Yanks. If he sticks around or if he leaves and then comes back and plays well, he could repair his image with American fans. But, I find myself wishing him ill because I believe his attitude is obscenely condescending to the American game, so I will probably not change my mind. I wish Becks had done the same instead of sacrificing his promise to the fans (and MLS suits) for his own personal desire to play in 2010 for England. He has never cared about the Galaxy or the MLS. All he has cared about is David Beckham.

Well, and maybe that guy who played Maverick…

Background: 1996 was MLS’s inaugural year, so every record set that year became both an MLS season and all-time record. Most of those season records have fallen since, but one still exists. Leonel Alvarez received 14 yellow cards during that first MLS season, and his ugly track record has never been matched. So, I will put him in my H.O.S.

Career: Alvarez, a Colombian, came to MLS to play for FC Dallas, who were known as the Burn back then. Alvarez took the nickname a little too seriously though as he burned oppenents every game with hard tackles, fouls and cards. He later played for the Revs for awhile, but his only lasting impact was his single season card record.

Dishonors: Alvarez was very popular in Colombia due to his physical style, but that same style earned him only ignominy (and a ton of yellow cards) in the states. Of course, the same season he set the yellow card record, he was also named to the Best XI, so I suppose not everything the man did was shameful. But, 14 yellow cards is a ton.

Legacy: Alvarez is the second most capped player in Colombia history (behind my Hall of Fame inductee, Carlos Valderrama), so it is unfair I am boiling his entire career down to a single statistic. But, it is a stat that has stood the test of time, and, like a certain record of Joltin’ Joe’s, may never, ever be broken. So, he belongs in my Hall of Shame.

Background: Blanco is like Neil Diamond. You either love him or you hate him. Either way, you can’t deny that he is one heck of a soccer player. The man was born to play the game. He even has a juke move named after him (”the Cuautemiña“), which makes him a living legend. It seems those who love him and hate him do so with equal passion.  

Career: Blanco, at 36, is still one of the best field generals in MLS. His play with the Fire has been better than I expected, but he is best remembered for his 15 years (and over 125 goals) with Club America. Well, that and his over 100 appearances for El Tri. Heck, he’ll be remembered for just about everything he did on a pitch, even the bad things.

Dishonors: Blanco is hated by opposing fans because of his style of play, which one could describe as “irreverent”. He has no respect for any of his opponents. He will mock them. He will engage in chicanery. He will straight up dive like Greg Louganis (well, sort of). He is a “pest”, that is for sure. His list of misdeeds is longer than the IRS Tax Code. 

Legacy: Like I said above, Blanco’s legacy depends on who you ask. A Club America fan from Mexico will tell you he is the closest thing to God to grace Earth since Jesus. Just about everyone else in the world will tell you he is a great player, but that his competetive streak brings out some ugly qualities sometimes. Personally, I like him. Well, except when he plays the US. 

I like Neil Diamond too though, so who knows?

Background: Like Pablo, who I already enshrined, I love me somes Clint Mathis. How could you not love Clint, or “Cletus” as many fans call him due to his bad attitude and foolish demeanor. I love the man as a player, but most MLS fans hate him. After all he has broken their team’s hearts with thrilling goals and their players knees with ugly tackles.

Career: Clint has been just about everywhere in his long MLS career. He’s played for LA, New York, RSL, Colorado, New York (again), (sort of) LA (again), and now RSL (again). He moves around a lot because he has a historically poor attitude and a classic dislike for authority. Hence, he had the league’s most famous mohawk and the ‘tude to go with it.

Dishonors: Mathis makes this list for many reasons, but the main one is his MLS all-time record for red cards (8). Clint isn’t a player who can control his emotions and get the better of his rivals on the field. If you wrong him, he will straight up cleat (or “cleatus” you, if you will) in the face. His violent outbursts have landed him in my Hall of Shame.

Legacy: Mathis is having somewhat of a career revival with RSL this year, and I hope the best for him. But, he has made many MLS players weep from his ugly tackles, and even more fans of his own squad weep due to his send-offs. I like Cleatus a ton, but he may be the most hated MLS player ever, so he belongs in my MLS Hall of Shame.

Background: WTF? What is Tony Meola doing in my MLS Hall of Shame? He was a great keeper in MLS, who won titles, individual awards, and many, many fans. Well, I will tell you why he is here, and it has nothing to do with his utterly un-majestic pony tail. It’s because Meola allowed 62 goals in 1998, a long-time MLS single season record.

Career: Meola had a legendary career in both MLS and for the US Nats. He plied his trade for New York and Kansas City, and he started over 200 games. He’s second all-time in shutouts and saves, and a member of many All-Star teams. But, he also leads MLS in losses (109) and in 1998 he didn’t seem to stop many shots for the MetroStars.

Dishonors: That season wasn’t kind to Meola or the MetroStars. Later, he would be named league MVP with the Wiz, but back in 1998, he didn’t have a very good defense, so every game he faced a firing squad. That year, he conceded nearly 2 goals a game, and the MetroStars didn’t fare too well. I feel bad about putting him here, yet it had to be done.

Legacy: Meola is better remembered today for his pony tail than for his goalkeeping, which is a shame because he was one of MLS’s best GKs. His 1998 season has landed him in my Hall of Shame, but he will likely be a future Hall of Famer as well. All in all, Meola may not deserve this dishonor, but I couldn’t resist the idea of a bust with his pony tail sitting in my H.O.S.

Background: What is Mark Dodd doing on this list? Well, on June 4, 1998, Dodd played between the pipes for the Dallas Burn against the LA Galaxy. 90+ minutes later, Dodd had conceded a whopping eight (yes, eight) goals, a single game MLS record that has never been broken.

I have nothing against Dodd personally, but eight freaking goals?

Career: Dodd didn’t have a bad career. He got 15 caps from the US Nats, and minded the Burn’s net almost 100 times. He went to the MLS All-Star Game twice and was named to the Best XI once. Hand surgery ended his career abruptly, but he was a fine player. Well, other than one hot June day when he gave up a wholly ridiculous eight goals to LA.

Dishonors: The game itself was completely unremarkable, other than the final score. It didn’t mean much to the standings or the playoff rankings. But, it was likely a huge source of embarassment for Dodd and the Dallas defense. In fact, the 8 goals could be even more attributable to the D than Dodd, but he is the man who has the record.

Legacy: Dodd’s record has almost been broken several times, but no one has ever conceded that 8th goal to tie the record. So, Dodd’s name has been continued to be linked to that sad June day back in 1998. Maybe one day the record will fall, and I can release him from the Hall of Shame. But, until then, Mr. Dodd will be in my H.O.S. Sorry.

A few months ago, I wrapped up my list of the players in my inaugural MLS Hall of Fame class. Making the list got me thinking. What if, in addition to an MLS Hall of Fame, there was an MLS Hall of Shame for players who have committed foul deeds or crushed their fans’ spirit time and again. So, I decided to enshrine some more folks, but this time…

The players inducted in the Hall of Shame would be more prone to getting ejected than leaving their opponents feeling dejected. They would be more used to sinning than winning. They wouldn’t hoist Cups, they would break their opponents’. They wouldn’t be stars, but they possibly should have been behind bars. No fame now. Just shame.

So, over the next few weeks, I will be highlighting the MLS players who will receive the first spots in my MLS Hall of Shame. Now, I was a little heavy on the rhetoric above. I don’t think these players are bad people, but they do hold some infamous MLS records, so I am really just having a little fun at their expense. Plus, they are a mean bunch…

And I definitely don’t want them coming after me. So, without further ado, I will commence my listing of my inaugural class of MLS Hall of Shamers starting tomorrow, and I will continue for the next two weeks. If I omit any good ones (or bad ones, I guess) let me hear about it in the comments. Until then, keep coming back to STO for the best news, commentary and analysis on the interwebs. Peace.

PLAYER OVERVIEW: Alexi Lalas is considered one of the most recognizable faces in American soccer - or should I say he had one of the most recognizable goateed faces in American soccer.  Lalas played defender for the United States in all four matches of the epic 1994 FIFA World Cup.  Lalas also was a member of 1998 U.S. team, but he never played a minute in regulation. 

Alexi was also the first modern-day American player to break into Serie A.

AFTER THE GAME: After Lalas retired from the game, he embarked on one of the worst careers as a General Manager in soccer history, eventually being fired by the LA Galaxy last season.  Today, Alexi is known for his broadcasting career.  He works as a soccer analyst for ESPN and has been the studio analyst during the Confederations Cup.  Lalas originally broke into broadcasting during his first sabbatical from soccer in 2000. He’s not bad either.

DID YOU KNOW?: Did you know that Alexi Lalas is also a tour-traveling musician?  That’s right, Alexi plays the guitar and sings as well.  In 1998, the defender’s band, the Gypsies, opened for Hootie and the Blowfish on an eight show tour going through Europe.  The Gypsies with Lalas went on to make two albums: Woodland and Jet Lag.  Later Lalas would create his own solo debut album, which was accurately named Ginger.  His most well known song on the album (which is basically unknown) was called Goodnight Moon, just like the children’s book.

2010 PROPOSAL: Although Alexi’s soccer playing days are over, the man needs to grow back the ginger goatee for the sake of the U.S. squad.  Think about it.  One of America’s best World Cup showings was when Alexi had the goat going in full force.  But, in the last few years, we have not seen as much of the legendary crimson goatee and our World Cup results have declined a little bit in that time span.  The answer to this dilemma is simple. 

For the U.S. to have a chance in 2010, Alexi must grow back the goatee and give the U.S. squad a little more firepower.

Don’t do it for me Alexi, do it for your country and gingers worldwide.

Background: Well, Ante Razov is my final member of my MLS Hall of Fame inaugural class. How could he not be? He has played for five different MLS sides, and during his long career he has notched more goals than all but one other player. All in all, he has been one of the league’s most consistent strikers, so I think he belongs in the Hall.

Career: After a lackluster stint with LA to start his MLS career, Razov ended up with the Fire for a few seasons before plying his trade in Spain for one season. He then came back to the Fire for a few more years, before having short stints with CMB and NY. Since 2006, he has been a leader for the Goats, and he remains one of the last original MLSers.

Honors: Razov holds or is competing to hold many MLS records. He is 2nd in goals, 1st in shots and shots on goal, and first in game winning goals. If you took PKs out of the equation, he would be the league’s all-time leading scorer. Moreover, he also has the most multi-goal games (22), but Landon Donovan could break that one sometime soon.

Legacy: Razov’s legend is still not finished being written, though injuries have recently hampered his performances. His superstar skills have taken him all over the globe, but he has had his greatest success in MLS. I would want Ante’s right boot for the HOF. After all, more shots have rocketed off that boot than any other shoe in league history.

I hope you all have enjoyed my series on my inaugural MLS Hall of Fame inductees. As time goes on, I may add to the list, so please let me know in the comments who you think I unfairly omitted (I know, I left many greats off this list, so forgive me). Until then, please keep coming back to MLS for the best news, analysis and commentary on the interwebs.