Team Overview: Burnley will make their debut in the Prem in 2009/2010 after achieving promotion this year. Next year will mark their first return to the top flight of English football in thirty years. Way back in the day, they won two 1st Division titles and one FA Cup, but it has been more than half a century since the Clarets won it all.

Top Performers: Martin Paterson helped Burnley make it back to the bigs with 13 goals and 4 assists, while Graham Alexander put up nice numbers (10 goals and 5 assists) to also assist the team in their promotion run. But, the squad’s MVP was Brian Jensen, the burly Burnley GK who stifled opponents’ offenses and ceded only 1.13 GAA.

Highest Highs: Burnley’s highest high came at the end of the season – of course – when they went on a brilliant run to achieve promotion. They beat Reading (who had bested them 3-1 earlier), shut out 2 straight squads and bested Sheffield United 1-0 in the playoff match to advance to the Prem. They certainly overcame some long odds in ‘09.

Lowest Lows: Burnley’s slow start threatened their promotion run; in fact, they didn’t win a match the first month of the season. They rebounded though with four wins the next month. They also struggled on the road this year, losing more games than they won. Their defense also was less than stellar, ceding a whopping 60 goals this season.

Future Outlook: Burnley’s offense exploded for 72 goals this season (2nd best in the 2nd tier), but next year they will face tougher defenses. Meanwhile, their own defense needs to improve quickly or they will be embarassed against top flight teams next year. They must bring in anyone and everyone who can help keep the ball out of the net.

Briefing: Agent Michael Owen (aka “the Jaded Jaguar”) has one of the longest histories of any MNT member, yet he lately has been omitted from important events. In nearly 90 appearances with the MNT, he has scored a whopping 40 goals, but his increasing age and proneness to injury have slowed his ascent. Still, I think he will be around in 2010.

Special Skills: Agent Owen became a legend at Liverpool, where he won the Player of the Year Award and many other trophies. Unfortunately, injuries derailed his once promising career, and though he still performs quite well, many experts fear he will never again be the player he once was. He still has a lot left in the tank though, in my opinion.

International Actions: Agent Owen has been a part of Mission 1998, Mission 2002 and Mission 2006. Though he delighted fans and frustrated defenses during all three Cups, he was injured during Mission 2006 and he has not returned to top form since. Now, Director Capello seems to be overlooking Agent Owen as Mission 2010 approaches.

Mission: Agent Owen’s mission, should he decide to accept it, will be to battle his way back into the MNT starting lineup. To do so, he must prove that he still has the attacking instinct and nose for the net that once made him a stalwart for the MNT. The agency will need goals to eliminate their enemies, and few in the nation’s history have scored as many as Agent Owen. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Theo Walcott (aka “Slade’s Blade”) is a rising star for the MNT and one must imagine he will play a large role in Mission 2010. Despite being young in age (20), Agent Walcott has already established himself as an exciting winger and perhaps the future of the MNT. If he can stay healthy, he could be just what the MNT needs.

Special Skills: Agent Walcott is reputed to be one of the fastest players in the world. After dominating lower level competition, he became a Gunner, and expectations were so high he was awarded Henry’s #14 jersey. But, injuries have hampered his development and slowed his ascension into the MNT’s hierarchy. He is still a dangerous threat though.

International Actions: Agent Walcott, believe it or not, was selected for the MNT’s Mission 2006 despite the fact he was only 17 years old at the time. Though he was chosen over more established agents, the Director (a Swedish double agent) refused to play him. In his first full international game, he had a hat trick against Croatia, a great start.

Mission: Agent Walcott’s mission, should he decide to accept it, will be to dazzle audiences and defenders with his amazing attacking abilities during Mission 2010. He needs to score goals and frustrate the MNT’s enemies. He also needs to stay healthy, as his young frame has been riddled with injuries. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.