Background: What is Mark Dodd doing on this list? Well, on June 4, 1998, Dodd played between the pipes for the Dallas Burn against the LA Galaxy. 90+ minutes later, Dodd had conceded a whopping eight (yes, eight) goals, a single game MLS record that has never been broken.

I have nothing against Dodd personally, but eight freaking goals?

Career: Dodd didn’t have a bad career. He got 15 caps from the US Nats, and minded the Burn’s net almost 100 times. He went to the MLS All-Star Game twice and was named to the Best XI once. Hand surgery ended his career abruptly, but he was a fine player. Well, other than one hot June day when he gave up a wholly ridiculous eight goals to LA.

Dishonors: The game itself was completely unremarkable, other than the final score. It didn’t mean much to the standings or the playoff rankings. But, it was likely a huge source of embarassment for Dodd and the Dallas defense. In fact, the 8 goals could be even more attributable to the D than Dodd, but he is the man who has the record.

Legacy: Dodd’s record has almost been broken several times, but no one has ever conceded that 8th goal to tie the record. So, Dodd’s name has been continued to be linked to that sad June day back in 1998. Maybe one day the record will fall, and I can release him from the Hall of Shame. But, until then, Mr. Dodd will be in my H.O.S. Sorry.

Haiti’s proper name is “The Republic of Haiti”, sort of like our nation is styled “The United States of America”. And like our nation, it is a cultural meting pot. Haiti though is a smoldering cauldron of French-Creole-Caribbean cultures, and it is undoubtedly a nation with a heroic history. Let’s see how much you know about Haiti with a pop quiz:

Question 1 of 1: Which of the following statements about Haiti is true? 

A. First post-colonial independent black-led nation in the world.

B. First independent nation in Latin America.

C. First (and only) nation whose independence was gained through slave rebellion.

D. All of the Above.

It’s (D), of course. Haiti’s national motto is “Strength Through Unity”, and it is befitting of their soccer squad, who are capable of playing with strength due to their constant unity. Seriously, these guys are together year round because a ton of them play in the same small league in Haiti for the same teams. Meanwhile, the Yanks are starting 11 guys who have basically been thrown together. But, notice I said “capable of” playing with strength.

Their familiarity with one another helps, but it can’t stop some US attackers from running past them or some burly defenders from absolutely flattening them when they go up for a header. I just don’t think they can overcome the US attack’s physical advantage, and I hope Bob Bradley’s boys beat them soundly. Actually, I just hope they beat them. 

Beat them for the Cup. Beat them for your country. Beat them for… 

Michael Jackson?

Well, he did once give a great pre-game speech, though few are aware of it. In fact, unlike some coaches, MJ summed it all up with just two words: “Beat It” (with the “It” being Haiti). And if beating ”it” helps, maybe everybody should wear a white glove and grab their crotch throughout the game. Making that crazy “heeHEE” sound is entirely optional. 

But, I think Gooch was doing all that stuff before MJ even passed.

Rest in Peace, Michael. You were one (certifiably) crazy kid, but I’ll always cherish your “I Want You Back” with the Jackson Five. I wish you had stayed small Michael for the rest of your life, like Webster.

Wouldn’t that have been sweet? And think about how much easier it would have made your love life!

Too soon?

It has been a long time since I did an episode of the ”Know Your US MNT Opponent” series, so I thought to myelf, “why not bring it back for the big match with Honduras tomorrow?” HON deserves the recognition because they are a strong side – especially considering the fact that the nation’s total population doesn’t exceed that of New York City.    

Honduras is a scrappy team though, and far better than they look on paper. Los Catrachos play with tenacity and a desire that can never be exceeded - only rivaled at best. After all, this is a country that once fought a “Football War” with El Salvador. They are #39 in the World Rankings, and they have recently been surging toward the FIFA Top 25.

The US won’t have a walk in the park against Honduras like they did against Grenada. Sure, HON only edged Haiti 1-0, but the scoreboard doesn’t reflect the fact that Honduras dominated the possession time and shots on goals statistics. The US was losing to HON @ one point in an early WCQ in Chicago, but the Yanks battled back to win 2-1 in a thriller.

Los Catrachos are led by Carlos Costly (who is currently plying his trade in Poland and scored the winner against Haiti); Carlos Pavon (formerly of Alexi’s LA Galaxy), and dangerous playmaker Amado Guevara (a former MLS MVP now up in the Great White North with the TFC Reds). These three exemplify the squad’s style too. And by that I mean…

Sometimes they look simply brilliant, but sometimes they are exceptionally sloppy. Hopefully, the US will see the latter team @ RFK tomorrow night. Now that you know Honduras, you should also know your Yanks. The team dominated last weekend thanks to great chemistry up top, so expect to see many of the same starters vs. HON. 

U.S. ROSTER BY POSITION (Now with Benny Feilhaber!)

GOALKEEPERS (3): Jon Busch (Chicago Fire), Troy Perkins (IK Start), Luis Robles (FC Kaiserslautern)

DEFENDERS (7): Steve Cherundolo (Hannover 96), Jimmy Conrad (Kansas City Wizards), Clarence Goodson (IK Start), Jay Heaps (New England Revolution), Chad Marshall (Columbus Crew), Michael Parkhurst (FC Nordsjaellands), Heath Pearce (Hansa Rostock)

MIDFIELDERS (8): Davy Arnaud (Kansas City Wizards), Kyle Beckerman (Real Salt Lake), Colin Clark (Colorado Rapids), Sam Cronin (Toronto FC), Brad Evans (Seattle Sounders), Stuart Holden (Houston Dynamo), Logan Pause (Chicago Fire), Robbie Rogers (Columbus Crew)

FORWARDS (5): Freddy Adu (AS Monaco), Brian Ching (Houston Dynamo), Kenny Cooper (FC Dallas), Charlie Davies (Hammarby IF), Santino Quaranta (D.C. United)

What a long, strange trip the US MNT just had to South Africa. The Yanks advanced via a 6 goal swing in the last 90 minutes of the group stage. Then, they shocked the world by knocking out #1 Spain. Finally, they came out swinging against history’s most decorated team, but fell apart during a messy second half that most fans would like to forget.

I don’t have to forget it because I never saw the second half of the Final. I got on a plane when it was 2-0, and spent the flight sequestered from any updates. I was happy though. It was half-time and we were winning a freaking FIFA International tourney. Of course, I was happy. As soon as we touched down, I frantically turned on my “portable electronic device” to check the final score.

I never saw the three (admittedly four) goals by Brazil. I was over a mile in the sky in an airplane full of contentment and unspoiled hope. So, I may be biased. You see, when I left the airport Chili’s @ halftime that day and got on my flight, I didn’t really care if we won. Win or lose, the team had earned some respect - and more importantly - attention from the US media and casual sports fans. I felt like – for a little while – we could actually discuss soccer here in America…

And – amazingly - we could finally do it without being called a communist. It was a good day for me. Not so much for my phone though, who fell victim to that old and wise quote: “They always kill the messenger.” I was angry about the result, but perhaps it is better for the US to lose. Think about it. We need guys who are “hungry”. Beating Spain and Brazil may have made us overconfident. Beating Spain and almost beating Brazil could pay dividends come 2010.

And I was pleased with the US performance over the tourney. Rough in spots, sure, but also capable of some disarming brilliance. What I liked best is that they never backed down. Even when they were soundly outplayed, they never looked like they weren’t giving 100%. Show me another sport in the US where you can say that about the players. Well, except Conor Casey. For someone who played so little, he sure lollygagged around the pitch a ton.  

As for the rest of the players, some guys’ 2010 hopes rose greatly because the top competition around the globe brought out their best. But, others embarassed themselves and are now hoping Bradley gives them a look again before he selects his final 2010 roster. Tomorrow, I will rate the US MNT players based on their play over the span of the Confederations Cup and the likelihood their dreams of a 2010 starting role will be fulfilled. So come on back and be sure not to miss it.

Unless you have a plane to catch, of course.

Briefing: Agent Josmer Altidore (aka “Cozy Jozy”) is one of the MNT’s brightest rising stars. The youngster has huge size, unparalleled speed, and a rocket for a leg. He has had limited opportunities with the MNT so far, but he has taken advantage of them. I believe the MNT will need Agent Altidore to play up to his potential to be successful in 2010.

Special Skills: Agent Altidore began his career with a side in New York, and he had a great amount of success right off that bat. His inspiring play took him overseas to Spain to search for a huge fortune, but his opportunities over there have been very limited. He’s been loaned to a small Spanish side, but the coach has refused to play him.

International Actions: Maybe his coach hasn’t seen any tape of him, because he certainly has done some amazing things for the MNT. In only seven appearances he has notched two goals. During the mission to China in 2008, he scored despite playing with an injury. He always contributes and he has an incredibly innate ability to score goals.

Mission: Agent Altidore’s mission, should he decide to accept it, is to simply score goals during Mission 2010. He doesn’t need to learn to play defense. He needs to start training hard so he can take on the world’s best defenses in South Africa. Hopefully, he will. Lord (and the Director) knows we need him to. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Clint Dempsey (aka “MC Deuce”) is one of the MNT’s top international agents. He is a versatile player who can either play on the wing or in the middle, and he has recently become one of the MNT’s fixtures on the attack. His talent has only been expanding as of late, and the MNT will need him to continue to rise to the challenge of 2010.

Special Skills: Agent Dempsey was initially known as a hot-tempered hip-hopper, but his recent maturity has changed his reputation into one that celebrates his passionate play. After starting out in MLS, he has moved on to the Prem where he has become one of Fulham’s most integral players. His improvement has been startling to watch.

International Actions: Agent Dempsey has been performing with the MNT since 2004, and he has compiled an impressive record of 14 goals in over 40 appearances. His contributions during the Gold Cup of 2007 were critical to the team’s success in that tournament. He will need to play a huge role in 2010 in South Africa for the US to succeed.

Mission: Agent Dempsey’s mission, should he decide to accept it, will be to score goals and notch assists for the MNT. Whether up top or out on the wing, Agent Dempsey must play up to his potential by scoring goals and refusing to allow skillful defenders to frustrate his attacking options. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Adu (aka “Fast Freddy”) has always been a controversial player for the MNT. He came to MLS with much fanfare at a ridiculously young age (well, his actual age was controversial as well) and he established himself as a rising star for the league and the MNT. He is insanely talented and needs to be a cog in the 2010 MNT machine.  

Special Skills: Agent Adu is known best for his creative flair and meticulous passes. He is a great scorer as well, but he is better utlized as an attacking mid who dishes the ball to other players. His dribbling skills are unmatched and his vision on the field is 20/20. While he has had few opportunities since jumping overseas, hopefully that will change.

International Actions: Agent Adu has been a leader through every stage of the youth MNT, so it is only natural that he would emerge as one with the first team. He performed especially well with the U-20 side, and he already has a dozen appearances and a goal with the top squad. He needs more experience playing at the top level to succeed.

Mission: Agent Adu’s mission, should he decide to accept it, is to contribute to the attack for the MNT by rising up and seizing a starting spot on the Mission 2010 team. In order to do so, he must prove to the Director that he can play with a selfless style and use his huge talent to help the team succeed. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Landon Donovan (aka “Landycakes”) is one of the most senior members of the MNT, despite his relatively young age. Along with Agents Onyewu and Beasley, Agent Donovan was one of the members of Project Bradenton, and since then he has become the most prolific scorer in the history of the MNT. He’s their top assassin.

Special Skills: Agent Donovan is the fastest player on the MNT when he has the ball at his feet. His mercurial talent landed him in Germany at a young age, but he could not cut it in the foreign land, so he returned to MLS where he has become that league’s best player. After a short stint in GER once again, Donovan is poised to return to the US.

International Actions: Agent Donovan’s rise to fame occurred during Mission 2002, when he established himself as one of the best players in the world. Unfortunately, Mission 2006 was a huge failure for him personally and the team collectively. The question is now whether he can rebound and become the leader the MNT needs him to be.

Mission: Agent Donovan’s mission, should he decide to accept it, will be to notch as many goals as possible during Mission 2010 so as to eliminate the MNT’s opposition. In order for the mission to be successful, Agent Donovan will have to shirk his selfish image and become the epitome of a leader and team player. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Marshall (aka “Rad Chad”) has emerged as a rising new member of the MNT, even though he has participated in some missions since 2005. His fantastic performances of late with the Crew, an Ohio outfit, has catapulted him back into the Mission 2010 debate. I think he will secure a place on the squad and may be a starter.

Special Skills: Agent Marshall has all the attributes of a top defensive player. He has imposing size (6′3″), good speed, and enormous tenacity. Most of all though, Marshall has a cool head and a strong leadership style. All of these traits have made him into an all-star in MLS, and all should also translate to him becoming a fixture for the MNT.

International Actions: Though he has been a member of the MNT since 2005, Agent Marshall has only been selected for four missions and scored a single goal. He was thought to have been left behind by the agency, but his recent resurrection has amped up interest in his abilities. As a result, his future with the squad looks bright.

Mission: Agent Marshall’s mission, should he decide to accept it, will be to help hold down the MNT’s back line. His presence in the middle could allow Agent Bocanegra to play a holding defensive midfielder role or even move to the outside himself. I think Agent Marshall is ready for the opportunity. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.

Briefing: Agent Marvell Wynne (aka “Mr. Marvellous”) is a rookie to the MNT for all practical purposes. The 22 year old has not had a chance to prove himself  in big missions. But, when Mission 2010 rolls around, I think he needs to be ready. The Pittsburgh native is very fast and extremely talented. I think he will play a big role in 2010.

Special Skills: Agent Wynne has great speed. His father was quite a speedster too who played in MLB, and Wynne the Younger ran track in college. His first touch is somewhat suspect, and his decision-making skills have been criticized, but he is still only 22 years old and he is a tremendous athlete. I think he’ll start in 2010 in S. Africa.

International Actions: Agent Wynne has not been deployed in any major operations yet, though he did participate in a failed mission last summer in China. He performed well during the international affair, but overall the squad was eliminated without advancing. Agent Wynne has participated in only two other matches for the MNT.

Mission: Agent Wynne’s mission, should he decide to accept it, is to prevent opponents from scoring during Mission 2010. Likely stationed on the outside of the defense, Agent Wynne will also be expected to double forward and cross the rock into the center of the enemies’ defense. But, he needs more training operations first. This message will self-destruct in five seconds.