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todays joke and riddle 6

Wednesday, 17 September 08, 09:55 AM

ANSWER TO LAST RIDDLE:

Zambia, Luxembourg, Indonesia, Ecuador, Brazil (or Belize), Jamaica, Pakistan (or Paraguay), Mozambique (or Montenegro), Peru, Fiji.

JOKE:

Sunday School Lesson

Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.

God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.

A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.

Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.

Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.

This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!

… the teacher fainted!

RIDDLE:

What falls but doesn’t break, and what breaks but doesn’t fall?

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todays joke and riddle 5

Sunday, 14 September 08, 09:39 AM

ANSWER TO LAST RIDDLE:

PERU

JOKE:

Millionair's LoanBefore going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.

The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral and so the man said, "Well then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce."

The loan officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in principal, and $15.40 in interest", the loan officer said. The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir", the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan for two weeks and pay only $15.40?
 

RIDDLE

Without using any reference material can you find the hidden countries. In each case, the letter indicates the first letter of the country in question, the number represents the number of letters in the country. For example, E7 would be England. Z6, L10, I9, E7, B6, J7, P8, M10, P4, F4

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todays joke and riddle 4

Sunday, 07 September 08, 11:07 AM

ANSWER TO YESTERDAY'S RIDDDLE:

Tennis(10 is)

JOKE:

Texas vs NY

A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer
from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any
cop from Texas . He decides to prove this to himself and have some
fun at the Texas deputy's expense.

The deputy says, "License and registration, please."

"What for?" says the lawyer.

The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop
sign."

Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

"You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License
and registration, please."

The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"

"The difference is you have to come to acomplete stop, that's the
law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.

Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you
give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the
ticket."

"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.

At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to
stop, or just slow down?"

RIDDLE:

Which country has been hidden in the paragraph below:

The local habitat around a railway track can be very interesting. For example, supporting the track is a sleeper, under which you can find the lesser spotted great weevil.

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today's joke and riddle

Saturday, 06 September 08, 11:05 AM

ANSWER TO YESTERDAY'S RIDDLE:

salt, the initial letters of the words are spelling puzzles

RIDDLE:

What is represented by this BrainBat?

IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS

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todays joke and riddle.

Friday, 05 September 08, 11:42 AM

ANSWER TO YESTERDAY'S RIDDLE:

Charlie committed the terrible crime. The way to solve this puzzle is to look at each clue. We know that exactly one of each person's statements is true. Looking at Arnold's statements, let's check to see 'it was Brian' is true? If 'it was Brian' is true, then we know the other statement is false, therefore it was Edward. This is a contradiction. Hence we now know it wasn't Brian, nor Edward (as 'it wasn't Edward' must be the true statement). Looking at Charlie's statement, we can similarly determine that it wasn't Arnold either. Edward's statement gives us that it wasn't Derek, which leaves only Charlie as the culprit. It is always wise to check this against the other clues. QED.
JOKE:

The Worst Age

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand
at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you
can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet
all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.

"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.

So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00!"

RIDDLE:

What word comes next in this sequence:

penguin umbrella zoo zip llama egg ==?==

Choose from: salt, pen, ark, glass.

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todays joke and riddle.

Thursday, 04 September 08, 12:16 PM

                                JOKE:                

Gambling

Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was no problem and she has seen worse than that.

After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me $5.00 that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.”

“DAMN!” said the father.
“What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked.

Little Johnny’s father said, “This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”

                               RIDDLE:           

During a recent police investigation, Chief Inspector Stone was interviewing five local villains to try and identify who stole Mrs Archer's cake from the mid-summers fayre. Below is a summary of their statements:

Arnold:  it wasn't Edward
         it was Brian

Brian:   it wasn't Charlie
         it wasn't Edward

Charlie: it was Edward
         it wasn't Arnold

Derek:   it was Charlie
         it was Brian

Edward:  it was Derek
         it wasn't Arnold

It was well known that each suspect told exactly one lie. Can you determine who stole the cake?

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RIJOBLOG LORD COMPETITION

Wednesday, 27 August 08, 12:27 PM

                             J  O  K  E  : 

A lovely afternoon finds one fellow and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.

"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.

Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. He friend, wanting to please him, makes a suggestion.

"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."

"No," the man replies, "last time I did that I got two over par."

                        R  I  D  D  L  E  :                    

What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?

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REMEMBER, THE MORE ANSWERS YOU DROP THE MORE YOUR CHANCES OF BEING CROWNED THE RIJOBLOG LORD OF THE DAY.

ANSWERS DROPPED AFTER 11pm WILL NOT BE INCLUDED FOR THE COMPETITION.

SO START DROPPING YOUR ANSWERS NOW.

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RIJOBLOG LORD COMPETITION

Wednesday, 27 August 08, 09:49 AM

this competition kicks of today.

stay close to rijoblog to be the RIGOBLOG LORD of the day.

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