Zambia, Luxembourg, Indonesia, Ecuador, Brazil (or Belize), Jamaica, Pakistan (or Paraguay), Mozambique (or Montenegro), Peru, Fiji.
JOKE:
Little Janice was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me Janice, who created the universe?” When Janice didn’t stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear.
“God Almighty!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good” and Janice fell back asleep.
A while later the teacher asked Janice, “Who is our Lord and Saviour.” But, Janice didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again.
“Jesus Christ!” shouted Janice and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Janice fell back asleep.
Then the teacher asked Janice a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?” and again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin.
This time Janice jumped up and shouted, “If you stick me with that thing one more time, I’ll break it in half and stick it up your ass!”
… the teacher fainted!
RIDDLE:
What falls but doesn’t break, and what breaks but doesn’t fall?
DROP YOUR ANSWER AS A COMMENT.............
]]>PERU
JOKE:
Millionair's LoanBefore going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a downtown New York City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of $5,000.RIDDLE
Without using any reference material can you find the hidden countries. In each case, the letter indicates the first letter of the country in question, the number represents the number of letters in the country. For example, E7 would be England. Z6, L10, I9, E7, B6, J7, P8, M10, P4, F4DROP YOUR ANSWER AS A COMMENT...............
]]>Tennis(10 is)
JOKE:
Texas vs NY
A lawyer runs a stop sign and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy.
He thinks that he is smarter than the deputy because he is a lawyer
from New York and is certain that he has a better education than any
cop from Texas . He decides to prove this to himself and have some
fun at the Texas deputy's expense.
The deputy says, "License and registration, please."
"What for?" says the lawyer.
The deputy says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop
sign."
Then the lawyer says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."
"You still didn't come to a complete stop, Says the deputy. License
and registration, please."
The lawyer says, "What's the difference?"
"The difference is you have to come to acomplete stop, that's the
law. License and registration, please!" the Deputy says.
Lawyer says, "If you can show me the legal difference between slow
down and stop, I'll give you my license and registration; and you
give me the ticket. If not, you let me go and don't give me the
ticket."
"That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir," the deputy says.
At this point, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts
beating the daylights out of the lawyer and says, "Do you want me to
stop, or just slow down?"
RIDDLE:
Which country has been hidden in the paragraph below:
The local habitat around a railway track can be very interesting. For example, supporting the track is a sleeper, under which you can find the lesser spotted great weevil.
salt, the initial letters of the words are spelling puzzles
RIDDLE:
What is represented by this BrainBat?
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
IS
DROP YOUR ANSWER AS A COMMENT...........
The Worst Age
"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old.
"You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand
at the toilet and nothing comes out!"
"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you
can't even crap anymore. You take laxatives, then you sit on the toilet
all day and nothin' comes out!"
"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "80 is the worst age of all!"
"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.
"No, not really. I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse
on a flat rock; no problem at all."
"Do you have trouble crapping?" asked the 70-year-old.
"No, I crap every morning at 6:30."
With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this
straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30.
So what's so tough about being 80?"
"I don't wake up until 7:00!"
RIDDLE:
What word comes next in this sequence:
penguin umbrella zoo zip llama egg ==?==
Choose from: salt, pen, ark, glass.
DROP YOUR ANSWER AS A COMMENT.............
Gambling
Little Johnny was starting his first day at a new school and his father called the teacher to tell her that little Johnny was a big gambler. She said that it was
no problem and she has seen worse than that.
After Little Johnny’s first day at his new school his father called the teacher to see how it went. She said, “I think I broke his gambling”. The father asked how and she said, “He bet me $5.00
that I had a mole on my butt, so I pulled down my pants and won his money.”
“DAMN!” said the father.
“What’s wrong?”, the teacher asked.
Little Johnny’s father said, “This morning he bet me $100.00 he would see his teacher’s butt before the day was over!”
RIDDLE:
During a recent police investigation, Chief Inspector Stone was interviewing five local villains to try and identify who stole Mrs Archer's cake from the mid-summers fayre. Below is a summary of their statements:
Arnold: it wasn't Edward
it was Brian
Brian: it wasn't Charlie
it wasn't Edward
Charlie: it was Edward
it wasn't Arnold
Derek: it was Charlie
it was Brian
Edward: it was Derek
it wasn't Arnold
It was well known that each suspect told exactly one lie. Can you determine who stole the cake?
DROP YOUR ANSWER AS A COMMENT....................
A lovely afternoon finds one fellow and his wife golfing. They have had a wonderful time and the man has had a near perfect game. The final
hole, by far the most difficult, wraps around an old barn. With a terrible slice the man puts the barn between his ball and the green. Knowing that the strokes that it will take to get around
the barn will destroy his score, he begins to rant and rave. His wife hating to see him ruin such a great afternoon makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
He thinks this over and decides that it will work. With his wife holding open the barn door he lines up with the hole and gives the ball a terrific "whack"! The ball shoots through the air and
right into the head of his wife, killing her instantly.
Months go by, the man mourning all the while. His friends, hating to see him in such a state, convince him to go golfing with them. They end up at the same course and on the final hole, oddly
enough, another terrible slice puts the old barn between his ball and the green. Again he begins to rant and rave at what this dilemma will do to his score. He friend, wanting to please him,
makes a suggestion.
"What if I were to hold open the barn doors? That way you could send it right through the barn onto the green."
"No," the man replies, "last time I did that I got two over par."
R I D D L E :
What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?
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