Talking Tactics - Wengerball

Tuesday, 24 February 09, 05:30 PM · Comments(7)

by Joel Abraham

Arsenal have captivated the footballing world over the past month with their gorgeous free-flowing buildup, that sees the opposition passed into oblivion before succumbing to a crushing 0-0 draw. But what are Arsene Wenger's secrets of total football?

Fig. 1: The Crab

In the absence of Cesc Fabregas, Arsenal rely on the vision and incisive passing of Denilson and Alex Song. Wenger has nurtured their creativity by forbidding either from entering the opposition penalty area, dribbling, or passing the ball forwards. Aaron Ramsey attempted a forward pass during a recent FA cup clash with Cardiff, and was subsequently fined two weeks wages and sent to the reserves.

As we see here, the ball is moved from side-to-side until a throw-in is conceded. Members of the crowd are encouraged to shine lasers into the eyes of players to prevent them from looking forwards.

Fig. 2: The Bermuda Triangle

Liquid football at its finest. The players are free to roam wherever they please, and end up congregating in the same square metre of pitch, stepping on each others feet. The precocious, sullen youngsters are too technically accomplished and European to bother making a forward run, and stand around looking at each other before Bendtner miscontrols the ball and puts it into Row Z.

Here, the players are seen making tiny tiny passes to each other and waiting for Eduardo to return to match fitness.

Fig. 3: The Maradona

When the intricate passing fails to break down the more stubborn defences, like those of Middlesbrough, West Brom, Blackburn, Stoke and fifteen other top-tier sides, then the secret weapon Eboue is allowed to unleash his dribbling skills on the hapless opposition.

Eboue picks up the ball in his own half, tightly closes his eyes, and uses his sense of smell to guide him to the goal.

Fig. 4 - The Heimlich Manoeuvre

Football is of course a team game, and what better way to utilise your entire lineup than by inviting your marauding fullbacks to tear into the opposing defence. It is a swift, devastating and unexpected mode of attack, so when you've tried it 48 times and there's still half an hour to go, the opposition won't know what's coming.