by Joel Abraham

If I could hibernate until September 1st, I would. I'm utterly sick of transfer rumours: lazy journalists who make shit up, moaning players and big-mouthed managers. 

The Melo transfer saga is case in point, where one moment he wants to leave for England, then he signs a new contract with Fiorentina, then Juventus want him, then he says he wants to stay in Florence, then Juventus are about to sign him, then Fiorentina announce they're swapping him with Arsenal for Eboue, then they're swapping him with Juve for Marchionni and he's definitely signed, then Marchionni doesn't agree to it and the Arsenal move is back on, then he's a Juventus player, then BLAH BLAH BLAH and nobody cares anymore.

The way clubs and players conduct themselves over transfer issues is absolutely appalling. Why can't all parties just keep their mouths shut? What is the point of the constant 'come and get me' pleas made by players, what happens if they end up staying? Adebayor, that's what. And what do the clubs have to gain by disrespecting each other, unsettling players they're not even that keen on signing, and generally lacking even a shred of professionalism?

My general rule, with Arsenal at least, is to ignore everything until confirmation appears on Arsenal.com. Even when we actually end up signing a player we're linked with, often the transfer is so protracted that I've lost all enthusiasm by the time they sign (see: Nasri). My favourite signings are the one that come out of nowhere (like Eduardo). Who saw that one coming? What a treat!

Transfer rumours ruin the summer, and suck all the excitement out of signing a new player. Challenge yourself, see if you can go cold turkey on the rumour mills and only check your club's official website for your football news. And for god's sake stay away from Goal.com.

by Joel Abraham

A couple of months ago, Alex Ferguson said that he wouldn't sell Real Madrid a virus. £80m pounds later, Florentino Perez has sent out a message: Real Madrid always get what they want.

A new era of Galacticos is upon us after an unprecedented spending spree that doesn't look like stopping any time soon. After a being left trailing in Barca's wake last season, Los Merengues mean business, and have the financial muscle to put themselves back on top of world football. This summer's dealings beggar belief, and are the sort of antics you'd expect of someone playing Football Manager who's just discovered the data editor and have subsequently edited billions into their transfer budget. 

Perez has emphatically put Ferguson in his place. First he signs United's best player, then he signs the man they were going to replace him with, and now the other guy Ferguson wants says 'it's Madrid or nothing'. Make no mistake about it, United have been left to feed on the scraps of the Real banquet. While Perez gorges on the finest players on the planet, Ferguson is filling the titantic, Ronaldo-shaped hole in his team with Antonio Valencia and Michael Owen.

"See you at the Bernabeu"

When Real Madrid go to war, nobody is safe. As big a club as United are, no team can match Real for history, prestige and reputation. By signing Kaka and Ronaldo, Perez told the rest of the world: this is the place to be. Benzema stated one of his reasons for joining was his excitement at being part of a project that involves all the best players in the world. If Real Madrid want you, it means you're one of the best. And nobody turns them down.

On a side note, there seems likely to be a Dutch fire sale, with Huntelaar, van Nistelrooy, van der Vaart, Sneijder, Robben and Drenthe all surplus to requirements. This highlights the flip side of playing for Real - you don't have long to prove yourself, and the long list of big names who got lost in the shuffle is proof.

Real will probably topple Barca this year, and who isn't looking forward to watching Kaka and Ronaldo play together? Even if it doesn't work, the pair of them will still make bucketloads of cash for Real. Either way, Real look set to launch a serious assault on the footballing world this season.

By Michael Sinnerton

Having blogged about Michael Owen less than two weeks ago I don't want to come across as repeating myself, but I'm glad to see that one of my favourite players and someone who was once England's next great hope land on their feet.

As a Liverpool fan I know I probably should feel a bit betrayed and I may struggle next season wanting Michael to succeed whilst wanting United to crash and burn horribly. Do other Liverpool fans feel betrayed? I feel that having sold Michael Owen and turned down good opportunities to get him back (admittedly once at too high a price) we don't have any right to be offended.

From United's point of view they've signed a player who is proven in the Premiership and can be one of the best strikers in the league. At only 29 and on a free transfer, why anyone thinks this is a bad move is beyond me. Obviously it's a great move for Owen who finally has some profile and is saved the, let's face it, embarrassment of having to choose between Stoke or Hull (although Aston Villa were a more likely destination). But for United who get a proven goal scorer for no money, the risk is virtually zero. Owen will be so grateful to be at such a high profile club that he's likely to accept whatever terms are offered. If he does turn out to be a failure, United will be able to sell him for £1-2m with ease and will make their money back from any wages.

Furthermore, I don't think he will be a failure, at Newcastle with no service his stats of 30 goals in 69 games are well known but a goal-scoring ratio that was the highest in terms of goals/minutes played in La Liga should not be overlooked. Owen scored 18 goals from 41 games for Madrid (just 15 of which were starts), this despite a poor start probably due to problems acclimatising. When surrounded by good players, Owen is the beneficiary of more chances and as a result scores more goals.

Since Van Nistelrooy left United have not had a pure finisher in the squad due to Louis Saha's injury problems, Owen fits the bill perfectly. With Berbatov and Rooney likely to be Sir Alex's first choice for big games, and another (high profile) striker likely to join, United may be back to that wonderful position they enjoyed in 1999 where they can call on four genuinely top-drawer forwards.

By Michael Sinnerton

Barcelona are in talks with Palmeiras over £12.8m rated striker Keirrison, something which raises several interesting talking points. Firstly and perhaps most obviously it seems to increase the possibility of an Eto'o to Manchester City story (City have just made a £25.5m bid). Personally I would rather see Eto'o stay and have one more, probably, glorious season with the new ‘dream team' but presuming he adapts to the Premiership ok there's no doubt he'll be a great signing (and will force Craig Bellamy out).

Secondly £12.8m is a huge amount of money pay for a 20 year old that has no experience of European football. On the plus side Keirrison was last year's top scorer in the Brazilian championship with 20 goals, has career stats of 89 goals in 158 games and has been linked with the big clubs before. Personally I hope that if Barca do sell Eto'o they sign David Villa as a replacement and use Keirrison as a replacement as I don't think Bojan is ready to step into the main role. Alternatively of course they could switch Thierry Henry to centre forward and bring in Franck Ribery.

The other interesting thing about this transfer is that it has cost the Palmeiras coach, Vanderlei Luxemburgo, his job. "Keirrison showed a lack of professionalism and respect towards me and the squad so, while I'm coach, he will no longer play for Palmeiras," Luxemburgo had said on his blog. Palmeiras were knocked out of the Libertadores Cup last week and Luxemburgo was sacked.

All this points to a further increase in player power given Luxemburgo is the most successful coach in the Brazilian championship (5 titles, 2 previously with Palmeiras). As if this small transfer story didn't have enough Keirrison is 80% owned by Traffic Sports Marketing so Palmeiras will only get 20% of any transfer fee. Perhaps some of it will go to Luxemburgo as a compensation package meaning the club will be nearly back where they started only without a manager and their best player.

Unfortunately for Brazilian clubs this process of 2 steps forward, 2 steps back shows little sign of abating.

by Joel Abraham

Eto'o to Man City? His dodgy knees and inflated transfer fees aside, this could be a good move for City. I'll stick my neck out and say that Eto'o would be a big hit in the Premier League.

Does anybody else think David Villa is overrated? He and his Spanish teammates have been less than impressive during the Confederations Cup. Villa scores hatfuls against cupcake teams in La Liga who happily sit back and let you destroy them. He's undoubtedly a talented player, but he's not a difference maker in the big games. Dani Guiza, on the other hand, would be a good bit of business. (I began writing this before Guiza vindicated me by scoring twice in the last minute against South Africa.)

The Edin Dzeko rumours look to be over. “I am staying at Wolfsburg,” Dzeko told Sky Sport 24 this morning. “But I am not happy. I would like to join Milan, but I am tied to a contract and the club have decided not to release me.” I don't usually like to engage with transfer speculation, but hopefully this means Milan will take Adebayor from us. Please. I'm begging you.

How is everybody else coping with the unbearable audio onslaught of the vuvuzelas? I'm watching my TV with the volume right down, and it still sounds like it's been infested with wasps. Fifa general secretary Jerome Valcke said last year the vuvuzela would not be banned unless it was used as a weapon by fighting fans. Any ideas on how to instigate a mass vuvuzela brawl? Of course, the other way to shut them up is to do what Guiza did, and just score a couple of last-minute goals. But even that's no guarantee, as halfway through writing that sentence, Mphela scored again. Mute.

Arsenal set to make £40m Franck Ribery bid, say Goal.com. Any football fan can take one look at that and know that it's been made up on the spot. Come on, if you're going to make up transfer rumours, at least make it believable. Try "Wenger after £7m Lens striker", or "Arsenal look to snap up African starlet".

Lastly, I'd like to doff my cap to Katlego Mphela, who's brightened up this rainy Sunday afternoon and given me an extra half hour of football. Meaningless match, pointless tournament, but what a game! Extra points to Mphela for his excellent John Cena "u can't c me" goal celebration. If a player celebrates a goal next season by posing like Randy Orton, then I'll go on record here and promise them a pint. A cracking free kick by Mphela, but what a terrible wall from Spain. Why can't teams do walls properly these days?

By Michael Sinnerton

Is FIFA's 6+5 rule beginning to take effect even before it's formal acceptance?

The objective for those who don't know is to have an incremental implementation at the beginning of the 2010/11 season to give clubs time to adjust their teams. Once the ruling is in place clubs must field 6 players eligible to play for the national team of the country of the club. In 10/11 teams must have a 4+7 system, in 11/12 a 5+6 system and then a 6+5 system from 2012/13 onwards.

Purchases like Glen Johnson at Liverpool, whilst obviously made mainly for footballing reasons, are being looked at more and more by managers as a long-term solution to the 6+5 ‘problem'. It's perhaps the reason why Benitez was willing to ‘overpay' and I know it is something he has been conscious of in the past. It may also be the reasons for seemingly strange transfers like Ross Turnbull to Chelsea and could be a factor if Alex Ferguson decides to only sign one striker to replace Carlos Tevez, thereby allowing Danny Welbeck more playing time.

The rule has been described as illegal by the EU and was rejected by the European Parliament but the Institute for European Affairs found that the rule "can be implemented in line with Community law." Assuming the ruling does come into being, the England team should logically benefit through having a greater number of players to choose from but on the downside may well push the prices of English players up in the meantime.

Would you like your club to sign more English players anyway? Or are you worried that the rule will promote on the basis of nationality rather than quality? I worry that it could mean a decrease in quality as youngsters are over promoted, although in the long-term things should even themselves out. Also what will the rule mean for the hundreds of Brazilians who move to Europe every year?

By Michael Sinnerton

To rehash a theme started by Martin Samuel, I wonder whom we should be copying now. When the French won the World Cup along with the Euros in quick succession the FA told us that the French model had to be followed. This is an extract from Paul Hayward in the Telegraph in 2000:

"Thirty-four years after they last reached the final of a major competition, England have resolved not to be the cave dwellers of the world game, the sick man of Europe. This week, Eriksson's assistant and trusted ally, Tord Grip, visited the Under-17s in the Charlton dressing room before their 1-0 victory over France, who now provide regular opposition for England's teenagers under the informal Anglo-French accord. From now on, Grip's presence seemed to say to the eager starlets, you are part of a system which binds each tier of international representation together, and which reflects the urgent need to produce skilful, intelligent and tactically aware young England players."

Wilkinson's staff have scoured the world for inspiration, but it was the shortest journey of them all which provided the best source of organisational wisdom. Gerard Houllier, a former technical director of the French federation and now manager of Liverpool, was the cross-channel fixer and go-between. "After the 1998 World Cup, I spoke to Aime Jacquet [the World Cup winning coach], and they told us everything they do," said Les Reed (director of technical development) at an Under-17 training session on Monday. "Since then, Howard and I have met Roger Lemerre [Jacquet's successor]. He did a technical seminar for us and let everybody have all the information."

In England's victory over France the goal scorer was Michael Chopra who said: "Yeah, that's what Les is trying to teach us. One-touch passing and good movement off the ball. That's what France do. They're strong and full of running." Isn't this just basic youth development? Why do we need the French to tell us that movement and good passing are the key to (attacking) football? Ah but we don't now I hear you say, we've got the Spanish to teach us. Now that Spain have ended years of ‘hurt' without an international trophy, we don't need the French anymore.

Trevor Brooking in February:

"What we've got to try to do is make some of our youth development coaches understand that you have got to spend years on our grass-roots programme to be up there where Spain are now.

"Spain have been doing it for the last 10 years. But we've got to start now. And in 10 years' time we might have a chance of being close to that as far as the depth of our development is concerned."

Given that Spain have just lost to the USA, presumably whoever's the FA's next ‘director of technical development' is will focus on producing big, lucky brutes (not to take away from the Americans who were very good on the day). The point is that we really should be taking the good ideas from throughout Europe and South America whilst perhaps adding our own at youth development rather than desperately trying to keep up with the Jones', the Henry‘s or the Xavi‘s.

by Joe Walton

I know it's silly season and everything, but the news this morning that Rick Parry's new job will be ensuring the integrity of the Premier League is something else. Parry, who was ousted from his role at Liverpool for undermining the club's lawful owners, will chair a new "anti corruption" panel which aims to asses the threat of betting-related corruption. While the inception of this panel is a good thing, given that some experts worry gambling corruption poses a bigger threat to football than drugs, Parry's position as the chair makes the whole thing rather less impressive. Lest we forget that Rick Parry has conducted himself as the Peter Mandelson of football, the shadowy fixer for the red team.

In one Machiavellian move, Parry used the birth of Yossi Benayoun's child to get him to renege on his contract at West Ham. The West Ham website had reported that Benayoun had agreed a contract extension and would sign as soon as he returned from Israel where he was present at his child's birth. This is when Parry swooped, approaching Benayoun's representatives, offering him a contract, turning his head and getting him to go against his word. Is that integrity? During the much discussed arbitration hearing between West Ham, Sheffield United and the Premier League, Parry gave evidence against the East End club.

Even putting aside the ethics of trying to penalise a Premier League club despite his own club having nothing to do with the situation, Parry's behaviour is questionable. As we all know, the reason West Ham were fined was because of third-party influence. This influence was as a result of clauses in the Argentine's contracts which meant they would be sold in January should bids of certain amounts be made. The sort of bid made by Liverpool and Parry for Javier Mascherano.

So Parry complained about the contracts but then profited out of them. Is that integrity?

This smacks of jobs for the boys, giving high power jobs just on the virtue of them being 'football people'. While I'm not questioning Parry's knowledge, I am questioning whether he is the sort of person to make a charge for the Premier League's integrity

By Michael Sinnerton

Dear Chelsea, please don't sign Andrea Pirlo.

I'm fed up with Premier League clubs signing slightly over-the-hill superstars. Singings like this create two problems, firstly the player having taken a season or so to acclimatise to a new league is generally too old or out of favour and therefore branded a failure and secondly the player is generally signed two or three seasons too late and is therefore well past their prime anyway.

This has happened at Chelsea, with varying degrees, to both Deco and Andriy Shevchenko and arguably to Juan Sebastian Veron at Manchester United and Fernando Morientes at Liverpool. My main problem with the signings, as well as the fact that they often turn out to be a waste of money, is that they convince the average fan that the Premier League is all-powerful. When Deco or Pirlo fail, fans who aren't up-to-date with football in Europe mark them out as average players who have succeeded because La Liga or Serie A is ‘weaker'.

Fans point to Diego Forlan's scoring record in Spain as a sign of weaker defences but fail to acknowledge the vast improvement in Fernando Torres' ratio when moving the other way. Some players will thrive in different leagues and some will take longer to develop. Simple points but ones that are perhaps worth remembering when discussing the attributes of different players and different leagues.

Andrea Pirlo used to be one of my favourite players, but his form this season has led to some poor performances for both AC Milan and Italy with one guardian columnists describing him as the biggest disappointment of 2008.

The point of this article is not to criticise Pirlo, but to praise him as one of the best midfielders of a generation and a unique and gifted playmaker. Any move to Chelsea though could see him remembered by some as another foreigner who moved to late and by others as a player who ‘just couldn't cope with the Premier League'.

By Michael Sinnerton

41 goals and 61 goals. That's the total number of goals contributed by Cristiano Ronaldo and Carlos Tevez to Manchester United over the last two seasons. It's not the newest of debates, but how the hell do you replace that? Benzema and Ribery are all very well but goal tallys of 23 and 14 respectively, whilst more than respectable, are perhaps not enough to convince fans and pundits just yet. Given that their 37 (and 50) goals match neither seasons tally from Ronaldo and Tevez, this despite being up against supposedly weaker defences in the Bundesliga and Ligue 1 (this argument of course doesn't take into the account how much better the players are they would be playing with at United).

Ribery and Benzema's scoring exploits are more than credible though, and whilst Ribery is already a world-class player, Benzema certainly has the potential. Perhaps the short-term problem for United then is the pace of the Premiership which seems to cause adaptability problems for more than half its newcomers. Both Tevez and Ronaldo, for instance, took time to acclimatise to the league and reach something approaching their best. United have of course been linked with Antonio Valencia, a player with Premier League experience but one who scored just 3 goals this season.

A switch to 4-4-2 with Rooney and Berbatov up front could solve the problem of goals with both players likely to notch more than last season, but more goals would still be needed from midfield/out-wide. Anderson in particular has the quality to score more than just from the penalty spot, perhaps his attacking ability is compromised in United's current system? There still must be concern though that Macheda and Welbeck aren't good enough back-ups should Rooney or Berbatov suffer a long-term injury. A striker like Jermaine Defoe, Robin Van Persie or dare I say it Michael Owen, all of whom are proven in the Premier League might be a better bet (although of course 2 of the 3 are injury prone). If only they hadn't got rid of a striker who has 58 goals in his last two seasons in Europe's best league. Diego who?