by Joel Abraham

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Anybody else bored of the CL already? Let's be honest, it's not worth watching until the knockouts. Platini got his wish - eight debutants - and where do you think they'll be sitting in their groups come January?

The truth is, most of these groups you can take one look at and know exactly which two teams are going through. Don't be fooled by the Milan v Real or Inter v Barca clashes, they're not going to be anything worth writing home about. If they were knockout clashes then we'd all be excited, but two heavyweights nudging each other in a half-arsed attempt to finish first does not get the pulses racing. Most of these teams will have all but secured qualification by Matchday 4, and will rest all their good players for the remaining games. 

The second v third seed clashes look to be the most interesting, mainly due to the bizarre seeding process. What have AZ, CSKA and Rangers done in Europe recently to warrant their outranking of Bordeaux, Atletico, Fiorentina and Marseille? Likewise, are Sevilla top seeds by virtue of their UEFA cups? 

This is a moot point though, because the group stages haven't been interesting for years. The big teams plod through in second gear, one or two of them might rest a few too many players or underestimate the opposition and cock it up, some might leave it till Matchday 6 before securing qualification, but the whole process is a bit of a formality.

I hope Maccabi Haifa enjoy getting obliterated in Munich and Turin. Zurich might not get any points, but if they get lucky, they might get to see Ronaldo play! APOEL fans will enjoy the days out in Madrid and London. Debrecen will get to sample the famous Anfield European nights, before they get thrashed. Rubin Kazan have the distinct honour of being annhilated by TWO European heavyweights! With a bit of luck, Unirea might get to drop Rangers into the Europa League, before finishing bottom anyway! And the battle for second in Group H will be fascinating: who gets to be the team everyone wants in the second round??

You'll have to excuse me for greeting this draw with pure, unadulterated indifference.

Group A:

Bayern, Juventus, Bordeaux, M. Haifa

This one might be interesting. You'd expect Bayern and Juve to progress, but French champions Bordeaux shouldn't be written off.

Group B:

Man United, CSKA, Besiktas, Wolfsburg

In spite of Fergie's moaning about winter trips to Russia and Turkey, United should walk this one. Wolfsburg ought to join them in the second round.

Group C:

Milan, Real, Marseille, Zurich

Unfortunate for Marseille, who could've had a shot at progression in a different group. The Milan v Real encounter might be interesting for the sole reason of seeing what kind of reception Kaka gets from the San Siro crowd.

Group D:

Chelsea, Porto, Atletico, APOEL

Some tough trips for Chelsea, but they should top the group. The Porto v Atletico clashes will be worth watching - a repeat of last year's second round tie. Atleti will probably qualify.

Group E:

Liverpool, Lyon, Fiorentina, Debrecen

Again, this could be tricky for Liverpool if they're not up to scratch. Lyon v Fiorentina will be an interesting battle. I think Lyon will go through.

Group F:

Barcelona, Inter, Kyiv, Rubin Kazan

Nothing interesting here. Nothing.

Group G:

Sevilla, Rangers, Stuttgart, Unirea Urziceni

A weak group, but possibly the most interesting. Sevilla and Stuttgart to progress.

Group H:

Arsenal, AZ, Olympiacos, Standard

Yawn. Any of the other three could join Arsenal in the next round, I'm gonna go for Olympiacos.

By Michael Sinnerton

I thought I'd wait until Arsenal were in full swing to really analyse them, and despite my insistence that Wenger had to sign a defensive midfielder the Gooners are flying. Wenger's 4-5-1 formation has given Fabregas licence to roam as well as giving the defence a decent amount of protection.

The formation though does slightly compromise Robin Van Persie in particular as he often ends up leading the line. Wenger could switch Bendtner to the centre and Van Persie to the right wing which might put both players more in their comfort zones - but could come at a cost to the team with Bendtner not as good on the ball as Van Persie and the Dutchman more likely to get frustrated at a lack of ball on the wing.

With Diaby, Denilson and Song all starting the season well it may be that Wenger is happy to sacrifice some attacking balance for defensive solidity. After all the Gunners have already found the net 15 times in 4 matches.

But even the staunchest Gooner knows that it won't always be this easy - the opposition will get harder in Europe and Portsmouth are the worst team in the league right now. I like Wenger's innovative (for Arsenal) system and it will be interesting to see how Theo Walcott and Samri Nasri fit in (i.e. will both be wide options or will Nasri return to the centre).

With this formation or without a still think Arsene Wenger has missed a trick. Strangely it was a trick he knew all about. One player who would fit seamlessly into either formation and improve the side in both is Wilson Palacios. It's well documented that Wenger recommended him to Steve Bruce which kick-started the Honduran's successful Premier League career. It's slightly strange that Wenger didn't consider him good enough for Arsenal at the time, given the likes of Amaury Bischoff were.

Giving the old master the benefit of the doubt though he may have thought Palacios didn't quite have just the one or two attributes to compete at the top level. After hugely impressing at Wigan though it was obvious he did, and one performance I saw in a Carling Cup defeat against Arsenal was truly excellence despite being surrounded by mediocrity. Wenger should have bid for him and given Palacios' debt for the Wigan move he would undoubtedly be an Arsenal player by now. Instead he has been key in propelling Tottenham to the league summit.

by Joel Abraham 

In the space of a few seconds, Eduardo went from the purists' martyr to public enemy. Yes, he dived. Who cares? It's boring. The only reason it's such a major talking point is because the tie was dead as soon as Gallas 'scored' in Glasgow. The way this has snowballed borders on the absurd. A ban? You'd think Eduardo was the first ever player to take a tumble. Judging by the pundit's reaction, he probably dived under that Martin Taylor challenge last year.  If anybody's allowed to go down easy under a challenge, surely Eduardo's earned that right. Tongue removed from cheek, hopefully everyone will calm down and stop talking about this non-event.

***

David Moyes has done well to get £24m for Lescott, but his stubborness looks like it's derailed Everton's season already. The last time Moyes dug his heels in over a player was the 2003/4 season when he refused to allow Wayne Rooney to leave. Everton finished 17th. Hopefully Everton can move on from this tedious affair, but you can't help thinking Lescott would've been better sold several weeks ago.

***

Lyon are my outside tip for CL glory. Their 8-2 aggregate victory over Anderlecht was hugely impressive, the first leg notable for having four of Lyon's new signings find the back of the net. Miralem Pjanić, Michel Bastos, Bafétimbi Gomis and Lisandro López have all slotted in effortlessly, with 'Li-Lo' looking particularly impressive. The Argentine bagged a hat-trick in Belgium, a penalty in the home leg, and scored a fine free kick on his league debut at Le Mans. Claude Puel's side might just surprise a few people this season.

***

Attention turns to the CL draw this afternoon, with more than a few banana skins lurking in the lesser pots. For the English sides, an ideal draw would see them face AZ, Stuttgart and Standard, whilst a nightmare draw might see a group shared with Inter, Atleti and Wolfsburg. Interestingly, every team in Pot 4 bar Maccabi Haifa are making their CL debuts. Wolfsburg, Rubin Kazan, AZ, Standard, Unirea Urziceni, Debrecen, APOEL and Zürich will grace the competition for the first time ever - good news for Mr Platini. I wonder how many of them will be propping up their respective groups come January?

Reaction on the CL draw later today.

By Michael Sinnerton

The shocking scenes at Upton Park last night will have served as a reminder, if one was needed, that the game still has troubles with hooligans and policing must still be a priority. The Sky Sports footage, mainly of West Ham fans is unpleasant viewing and true West Ham fans will have been dismayed and rightly condemn the action.

Nevertheless I think the club should be punished, perhaps with removal from the Carling Cup this year and next year. I know it's unfair to punish the players, the staff and the ‘true' fans of the club but perhaps a penalty on the club's playing fortunes would act as more of a deterrent to this idiotic minority.

There is a train of thought, quite probably an accurate one, that suggests that these ‘fans' would act in the same way if the clubs met again (in the FA Cup later in the year) and that any penalty on the club isn't really a deterrent. But something needs to be done. West Ham could be forced to play games behind closed doors, as has often happened in Italy following crowd trouble.

Until the investigation finished it's too early to condemn Millwall or West Ham completely and the players could be seen making efforts to get the fans off the pitch. Jack Collison, who decided to play despite the death of his father on Sunday, has my particular sympathy.

It's unfortunate for the Hammers that at a time when we should be talking about the progress they are making under Zola and Clarke, and the great football they've been playing with young players that for the next few weeks any pre-game build up will centre on fan behaviour. Let's hope the individuals are identified and banned from football grounds for life.

By Michael Sinnerton

As a Liverpool fan I can barely bring myself to blog about the start of the season. With Alonso gone, and Benitez so far refusing to drop Gerrard back into midfield the Reds look pretty average. A poor pre-season, particularly results wise and a not-fully fit Fernando Torres have led to as many defeats in three games as befell us last year. It is hoped a more gung-ho style of football, particularly at Anfield, would turn a multitude of draws into wins. It was never likely to be that easy though, as last seasons 4-4 with Arsenal perhaps indicated.

As ever in the Premiership the first goal is absolutely vital and once you concede first it really can be a struggle. Especially at home and it showed yesterday when Liverpool poured forward in the second half only to struggle to break down Villa's two banks of 4 (sometimes banks of 5). When they finally did thanks in no small part to the promising Emiliano Insua, Stephen Gerrard made a fool of himself, allowing Villa to deliver the knockout blow that so many small town DJ's fear.

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There have been some fairly strange transfer moves this summer but Sol Campbell to Notts County tops them all. Signing Sven in a director of football position seems to have already paid off for the Magpies with the signing of a player who five years ago was considered one of England's best.

Headlines like: Sol signs five-year Magpies deal would two months ago have been seen as a shrewd signing by Newcastle or a strange sponsorship move for the Mexican beer. The goings on at County however makes the move slightly less surprising with the black and whites sitting top of League Two. Unless Campbell has completely lost it, he should be an absolute rock at this level, and possibly an occasional goal-scorer from corners. Presumably too he's making an absolute shipload of cash, something which won't surprise Tottenham supporters.

By Michael Sinnerton

The start to the Championship season, though slightly over-shadowed by the farcical scenes at Ashton Gate, has been an unusual one. Usually the relegated teams from the Premier League take time to adjust, with one or two tending to have particularly poor starts whilst acclimatising to the different challenges of the league.

A quick glance at the league table shows Middlesbrough, Newcastle and West Brom all on 10 points, equal top with leaders Cardiff. All three sides have won their last three games with Newcastle and West Brom having only dropped points against each other. These achievements, though too early to dictate any long-term gain, are remarkable given the lack of fan-support for Gareth Southgate, West Brom being under new management and Newcastle being a complete shambles.

Whether they can remain there is open to debate but could the power and wealth of the Premier League now be so strong that promotion from the Championship becomes even more difficult. With a seemingly weak bottom five easily identifiable (Portsmouth, Hull and the promoted teams) perhaps promoted teams feel that can safeguard their cash and still stay in the league, with any likely relegation easily off-set by having the squad in place to come straight back up again - i.e. West Brom.

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Long ago I decided David Nugent was the worst player in the Premiership and a shocking Harry Redknapp signing that never made any sense. However, given Michael Chopra's success at Cardiff I've decided to recommend Nugent to any Championship managers out there. Yes, he's massively out of his depth in the Premiership but Chopra was woeful for Sunderland, Nugent will relish the drop down and some regular playing time. Crystal Palace on loan?

PREMIER LEAGUE PREDICTIONS

(All fixtures are to be played on 25 December at 2300 BST procluding the eventuality of Michaelmas, the feast of Saint Michael the Archangel)

SATURDAY

Arsenal v Portsmouth

What has Arsene Wenger been smoking? The Gunsmiths have yet to sign a single new player since the last one they bought, and the bloodfests at Everton and Celtic will make grisly reading for the Baltimore Police Homicide unit. Expect more bodies to drop at the Emiratum.

Portsmouth have their fat hands in a few oil pies, which could make life difficult for James David at the old corner kickings. Who will score the goals? Not me, that's for sure.

The bigger question is: who wants it less?

Verdict: 2-0

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Birmingham v Stoke

Birmingham? Didn't they get relegated last season? Or was that the year before that? I'm getting them confused with the other lot that keep popping up every other year. I don't need all this.

Expect Stoke to resort to their usual tactics of using picadores on horseback with long lances to weaken Stephen Carr's neck muscles, before banderilleros stab brightly-coloured barbed sticks into Roger Johnson's back to make him bleed. In the coup de grace, Ryan Shawcross will plunge his sword between Franck Quedrue's shoulderblades, piercing his aorta. Watch out for the set pieces.

Home win.

Verdict: 1-1

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Hull v Bolton
 
Urgh. This'll be like watching a sumo battle. Mark my words.

Hull wear very bright shirts which may confuse and frighten their Lancashire hotpot opponents. Loud noises and flash photography will also be used to their advantage.

Careful though, because when Bolton have had one too many, they're always likely to twat you in the chin if you look at them funny. 

If there are any goals here, I will find out where you live, and I will cut you.

Verdict: 4-3

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Man City v Wolves

This one's been going on a while, hasn't it? You'd have thought they'd wrapped it up by now.

Man City have all the guns but no ammo. Hughesy has upgraded all his weapons, and even bought the Hydra shotgun and Gatling Gun, but he hasn't got Sheva's longbow yet, which could count against them after the January transfer window. 

But did Wolves buy the bulletproof vest? You'd hope not, because it'll be as much use as a chocolate kettle here. There'll be hot watery chocolate spillages everywhere unless Wolves find a good spot to hide in, perhaps behind the advertising boards, and use the PSG1 sniper rifle to chip away at Richard Dunne's weak point.

If someone's got an Action Replay cheat CD, both teams will be bang in trouble. I just can't see where the goals are coming from.

Verdict: 332 all out

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Sunderland v Blackburn
 
Darren Bent is on fire. Someone go grab that fire extinguisher before he gets seriously hurt! Quick! Somebody help him!! Why is this happening!??

I think Sam Allardyce did it, because it's always him isn't it? He might look all innocent with his rosy red cheeks and hearty smile, but we all know what he's capable of. Just ask Pål Lydersen.  

This will be a bit like a game of playground soccer, with all 22 children racing after the ball, with no concept of formation or passing. And it'll all end in tears when Gael Givet hoofs the ball over the fence onto the train tracks. And his mother will hear about it, mark my words.

I expect Sunderland to come out on top in this one.

Verdict: Hello

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Wigan v Man Utd
 
Expect a Backlash from the Champions here, a bit like the backlash from Randy Orton at WWE Backlash 2009, where he responded to his WrestleMania 25 defeat at the hands of then-champion Triple H by defeating The Game in a six-man tag-team match alongside his friends Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase Jr. If Rooney can bust out the RKO, they keep the gold.

Robert Martins might have something up his sleeve here. Maybe a sneaky chairshot while the ref isn't looking, or he might've even made some kind of deal with Vince McMahon.

I just can't see where the goals are coming from.

Verdict: Ctrl+Alt+Delete

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SUNDAY

West Ham v Tottenham (1330)
 
Zola has had enough of your shit, Harry. He knows you posted the dogturd through his letterbox, and he's out for revenge. My mate Barry down the Black Lion said Mark Noble's got a stanley down his sock.

I'd be surprised if Spurs even show up for this one. They give it all that in the playground, but when the school bell rings, they're getting picked up in the Renault by mummy, straight home for Dairylea and Sunny Delight.

Jermain Defoe is rinsing it, but it won't be long until Crouchy and Pavlyuchenko burst into tears. If these boys can't learn to share, then it'll all go nuclear.

I expect both teams to carry on their good starts with a draw here.

Verdict: Tony Yeboah

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Burnley v Everton
 
Burnley are still absolutely wankered from Wednesday's victory over Manchester United. They drunk ALOT, even by their standards. I'd be surprised if they can even stand up straight by Sunday, let alone beat shadow of the colossus that is Everton Football Club. 

David Moyles had his arms and legs blown off last week, and took a bullet to the skull. Most people thought his team would never survive, but have you seen that Robocop? Ooooooooh.  

Whatever Jolly LeScott does here will be crucial. If he sits on the bench scratching his arse, then West Ham will take these lot to the cleaners.

Verdict: آذربايجان ديلی

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Fulham v Chelsea (1600)
 
This 17th century tie will have everything you'd expect from it: the Baroque cultural movement, the French Grand Siècle dominated by Louis XIV, and the beginning of modern science and philosophy, including the contributions by bloody warfare throughout the century, by the Thirty Years' War, the Great Turkish War, the end of the Dutch Revolt and the English Civil War among others, while European colonisation of the Americas began in earnest.

In the east, the 17th Century saw the flowering of the Ottoman, Persian and Mughal empires, the beginning of the Edo period in feudal Japan, and the violent transition from the Ming to the Qing Dynasty in China.

Expect Woy's team to be engorged with slices of processed pork.

This had got West-London derby bloodbath written all over it. 

Verdict: Fulham  ♫  -☺ Chelsea

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MONDAY

Liverpool v Aston Villa (2000)

Aston Villa 2000 cannot be stopped.
 
Verdict: 2-0

by Joel Abraham

You can't really argue with two wins at two of Britain's toughest grounds. The destruction of Everton and the battling victory over Celtic augurs well for Arsenal's season, with many attributing the switch to 4-3-3 as the root of the Gunners early success.

Having written about this before, we now have two competitive matches on which to judge its success. In short, it's made more a much more compact, tenacious, resiliant team, but perhaps at the cost of attacking potency.

The main beneficiary of the new system has been Cesc Fabregas. It is built around his sublime talent, a smart move as the young Spaniard is probably Arsenal's best player. Flanked by his henchmen, Denilson and Alex Song, Fabregas is able to swagger through the pitch, controlling the tempo, spraying passes around, bringing the ball forward and showing glimpses of the sharpshooting Cesc of 2007/8.

The Cesc of two seasons ago benefitted from the dogwork of his partner, Mathieu Flamini, and the Frenchman's departure left a sizable gap in the midfield. Arsenal fans have been urging Wenger to find the player to fill this gap. Instead, Wenger has used two players.

Denilson's passing still leaves something to be desired, but his positional sense and ability to intercept passes allows Cesc to play further upfield.  The Brazilian has also shown he has a dangerous shot on him and a habit of popping up on the edge of the box to strike. Towards the end of last season, Alex Song showed glimpses of being Flamini's successor. Over the summer, the transformation from nervous teenager to midfield enforcer looks almost complete. Song is a different type of player to Flamini. He has the finesse and timing to be able to nick the ball from opposition players without fouling. His ability on the ball are far superior to Flamini. Added to the Cameroonian's repetoire are the Gilberto-esque shoulder nudge and the Flamini-esque scything tackle. Song has it all.

The midfield now looks much stronger, much more competitive. Against teams like Celtic who attempted to foul and hustle them, the trio of Cesc, Denilson and Song are able to fight fire with fire, snapping back with tackles and closing down their opponents all over the pitch. Their pressing game has improved tenfold since last season.

Unfortunately, midfield grit has blunted Arsenal's attacking play. They are perhaps lacking a little in the fluidity offered by Nasri and Rosicky, that final pass that brings the strikers into the game. But so far, the attacking trident of Arshavin, Bendtner and van Persie have been peripheral. Arshavin is not seeing enough of the ball and a player of his exceptional ability is wasted on the left wing. Nicklas Bendtner is a strong, intelligent striker who can finish well and provide a threatening presence in the box. So why play him out on the right? Van Persie is a shadow striker, who benefits from knockdowns and incisive passes into the box, or balls into the channels that allow him to bear down on goal, using his explosive left foot or his keen eye for an assist. He is no target man. To me, it seems that all three are out of position.

Perhaps Wenger ought to reshuffle this striking triumvirate. Players like Arshavin and Bendtner should not be forced to play out wide for the sake of width. Maybe this is why it seems Wenger is pondering a move for PSV's Balázs Dzsudzsák. Theo Walcott may bring more to the wide roles, so many Carlos Vela, or Jack Wilshere. Eduardo may fare better in the middle than van Persie. Arsenal have scored eight goals, but none have been scored by the starting forwards.

Back to the positives, it appears that Arsenal are now a genuine threat from set-pieces. Everton's disgraceful defending withstanding, van Persie and Fabregas have improved their delivery, and Gallas and Vermaelen look like they will chip in with their fair share of goals this season.

Onto Vermaelen. The Verminator. I could sum his start to the season up with this song that has already been doing the rounds within Arsenal's fanatical away support:

"He's good in the air, he's up for a fiiiiiight, Thomas Vermaelen, makes Vidic look shite"

What an impressive start to the season the Belgian has had. At 23 years of age, many questioned his experience, but Vermaelen has brought to Arsenal the composure, strength, controlled aggression and aerial dominance that Kolo Toure lost circa 2007. His ability to bring the ball forward on his accomplished left foot is a bonus, that balances what now appears to be a strong, resolute back five. During the first half against Celtic, Arsenal were caught out by a Celtic counterattack. As the ball was spread to the left wing, Vermaelen charged back into the box, with blistering pace, and blocked the incoming cross with a bone-crunching tackle. Marvellous! Early days, but the Vermaelen/Gallas partnership has gotten everyone talking.

Wenger has some work to do yet, but the Arsenal of 2009/10 look a different proposition to the mentally and physically weak side we saw last season. If he can keep the defensive steel and bring out the attacking edge, then Arsenal will surely be contenders again.

by Joel Abraham 

The much-hyped Battle of Britain will pose an intruiging tactical challenge to both managers.

Much has been made of the Parkhead atmosphere, but this Arsenal side have been to louder stadiums and beaten better teams than Celtic. Tony Mowbray is a decent manager who gets his sides playing attractive football, which may just play into Arsenal's hands. 

I don't think Celtic will be as negative as to simply stop Arsenal playing. They will be patient without the ball, sitting back and guarding against Arsenal's counterattacking. I expect them to be looking to win set-pieces and pepper Arsenal with crosses, and will prove a sterner test than the languid Toffees.

After a 3-1 win at Aberdeen, two-goal hero McGeady will be the dangerman. Glenn Loovens is a doubt whilst Stephen McManus is definitely out. Shaun Maloney should be fit and Gary Caldwell is expected to return to the defence. However, Mowbray may be about to shuffle his hand. The striking duo of McDonald and Fortune may be abandoned in favour of Samaras as a lone striker, with McGeady providing support.

Arsenal should be unchanged from the side that destroyed Everton, with Eduardo an alternative up front. Fabregas, Denilson and Sagna face late fitness tests, with Diaby and Eboue ready to step in. Their central midfield trio worked perfectly against Everton, denying them time and space and moving the ball quickly, with Fabregas in particular turning in an outstanding performance. The attacking trident, however, did not seem to play to the strengths of anybody, so a slight change is to be expected, with Arshavin perhaps given a more central role.

Celtic XI: Boruc, Hinkel, Caldwell, Fox, O’Dea, N’Guemo, Donati, Brown, Maloney, McGeady, Samaras

Arsenal XI: Almunia, Sagna, Gallas, Vermaelen, Clichy, Song, Fabregas, Denilson, Arshavin, Bendtner, van Persie

Prediction: Celtic 1 : 1 Arsenal

Tonight's other matches:

Sheriff Tiraspol v Olympiacos: I would expect the Greeks to outclass the Moldovan champions here.

Copenhagen v APOEL: The Danes should record a comfortable home win.

Timisoara v Stuttgart: A tough trip for Stuttgart, who will probably escape with a draw.

Sporting v Fiorentina: A finely-balanced tie, I fancy Sporting to take a lead to Italy.

By Michael Sinnerton

Let's not go overboard here, given that Liverpool lost 2-1 at Tottenham last year and Spurs should probably come 6^th given their investment, but Liverpool were shocking, which is strange because weren't they pretty good last year. What could be the difference? Must be that Spanish chap.

Without Alonso's slick passing and gentle forward urging, Liverpool do seem a player short. Mascherano and Lucas don't get the pulse racing as an attacking force, and that leaves Liverpool with arguably four players shouldering the attacking and creative burden at the moment. Arsenal had five against Everton, Manchester United always have five or six, as do Chelsea. Alberto Aquilani can't get fit soon enough, but really Benitez needs to invest. As I've side time and again this summer, Liverpool's strength in depth going forward is pretty poor and could be the reason for coming up short. Benitez should be using Sunday's footage in his plea to the board for more money.

A couple of points should be made though, firstly of course it was only the opening game of the season and Liverpool had a poor and interrupted pre-season. Mainly though was the fact that Torres had possibly his worst game in a Liverpool shirt (I'm worried he's already suffering burnout and am kind of regretting him as a fantasy football choice), and Gerrard wasn't much better.

With poor performances from Liverpool's big two and Ryan Babel continuing his impersonation of Bambi on ice, the Reds could hardly have played worse. The one bright spot was the introduction of Yossi Benayoun who should basically relegate Bambi to the bench. Babel always looks more promising as a striker (which is the position he was playing when he impressed in the U21s) but at the moment his first touch is so bad he'd be struggling to keep his place in your Sunday team.

With easier fixtures coming up, Liverpool could do worse than shifting Gerrard back to replace Lucas and go with an attacking quartet of Riera, Benayoun, Kuyt and Torres.