For Whom the Bell Tolls
Thursday, 04 June 09, 05:36 PM · Comments (0)
I have an idea, to sift through the summer transfer unpleasantness, by which I mean, the hysterical amount of bullshit that seems to fly out of journalists. A process that closely resembles a binge of raw vegetables and lager, and the awful ‘morning after’ complications. You know, when the brown mist eeks out and sprays the porcelain, the plaintive sounds you emit recall more closely wounded caribou, and you’re effectively pissing out of your arse. You know, like a lying bloody hack? Do you see the metaphor?!
Sorry.
That’s why my plan is to install a huge transfer bell, one that only tolls across the land if it carries genuine transfer news. Not the kind of information the sports editor foresaw in a feverish dream. These have to be real, money in a sweaty hand, finalised deals.
When the bell tolls we will prick up our ears, look at one and other knowingly, and come bounding in to see what the transfer bell has snared. The bell will be heard from far across the land, ringing its sonic verity to our grateful and relieved ears.
Now, who would like to see my bell? Or is half the fun of the summer speculating? If this is the case then I will add my two cents: David Beckham to Chelsea.
On second thought, I wouldn’t touch him with yours.
T.C.S
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