Get your Damn Hands Off
Monday, 08 June 09, 03:51 PM · Comments (10)
Don't bother kid, they'll only tear your heart apart.
At the time of writing, and as you are probably aware, Chelsea target Kaka is getting manhandled on the medical table by Real Madrid staff. This almost certainly guarantees that he will be joining them in a blink of an eye (if he hasn’t already).
This is the equivalent of having a damning crush on someone at school, aware that he or she is hot property, not only that but they are talking to you. For some reason they like you, no one is sure why but despite a lot of attention from better looking people, your crush is making eyes at you. They laugh at your jokes (teehee!), they give you the impression you should take the plunge – fuck it, ask them out.
You're going to do it, you are going to ask them out this Friday at that thing you're both going to. But when you get there, with minty fresh breath, clean genitalia and a ‘go for it’ attitude, they are nowhere to be seen. You pace around anxiously, you do little reconnaissance missions (‘hey, have you seen so and so?), by the end of the night your hopes are shattered, things couldn’t get worse. WRONG.
You stumble past a car and peer in to find your crush, entwined with some fuck head you vaguely recognise. It dawns on you that it’s that slightly cooler, richer and better looking kid from school. And right in front of your miserable face they are doing the nasty. You walk away dry heaving.
Do you see the parallel?
So with one down, and Franckenstein Ribery not interested because of the English weather, this leaves strong contention for Kun Aguero. If you haven’t heard of him, come here (slap!), now go and look at this here for Pete’s sake. He scored a scorching seventeen in the Liga this season, and he’s making all the right cooing noises at us, for now. But I’ve warned you what might happen! Don’t be surprised to see Real Madrid with a hand up his shorts on the medical table, the filthy bastards.
T.C.S
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debaucheryltd
Bath, GB
'Curiouser and Curiouser!'
10 Comments · Add yours
"Chelsea target Kaka"... Pfffft... Real have been courting Kaka for ages now, its funny how Chelsea always becomes linked with "others" transfer targets.
And from when did Real start getting attributed to the "rich kid in school" in comparison with Chelsea??
Since they are the most profitable club in terms of revenue, banking a whopping £366 million last year. We're nouveaux riche, these guys have always had crazy investment. They're known to spend crazy during the summer transfers and you only have to see their hopefuls for this summer. Kaka, Ronaldo, Ribery and Villa. Having already spent £45 million this winter on Diarra and Huntelaar. Hope this answers your question.
so u hate real amdrid because they r rich!!!!u have minority complex
Inferiority complex, you mean? You have to understand there's a certain amount of tongue in cheek in this blog to make the humour stick. Of course I don't hate Real Madrid, but his point was that they're somehow underdogs. They had a bad season, but they're still Real.
Exactly :)
Real will have a bad or a title-less season and will never lose their prestige..
That's the royal club you're talkin about not any other club..
I'm sorry (no offense) but Chelsea doesn't have the history that would make them a peer to the Real Madrid.
However, I admit, that maybe last year you'd have beaten us but it's the prestige I'm talking about.. Something that a lot of clubs lack including Barcelona.
i think any football lover would love to see stars like ronaldo,kaka and ribery play along side each other no matter where they play madrid,barca or milan...it will be always a plessure to watch them
Agreed. I actually liked the 'Galactico Era' at Real. It was great seeing the best players in one place. Naturally I have biased towards Chelsea and want players like Kaka and Ribery for us. Rashed_Sheriff that commented seem to think we've only just been linked with Kaka which is untrue. We apparently enquried as early as 2006.
Nah, I never meant to say you've just been linked with Kaka, just that we we've been after him way longer than Chelsea have. btw, quoting from ur previous msg "and you only have to see their hopefuls for this summer. Kaka, Ronaldo, Ribery and Villa." Aren't Chelsea after 3 of those 4? Make that 2 now. And wots the latest news on Aguero? Anybobody? Heard Inter r after him too.
Just thought it was a bit hypocritical to have a Chelsea fan talk numbers with regards to Madrid. Anyways, no hard feelings hey.
and trooper, wast it you i chatted with on the goal.com chat a few evenings ago? Y don't you get an account going here mate?