Well if Sven has done one thing since being over in Meh-Hee-Co, it's how to celebrate a goal. Badly.

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On the left, the mother-in-law of Mr JT. In the middle the man himself. On the right, his mother. Now, you tell me which pikey, sour-faced harridan was responsible for the attempted five-fingered discount. I have never, in all my days, seen a woman more likely to try and shove a frozen turkey up her shell suit top. If you ever have the 'pleasure' of taking tea at Chez Terry, I'd decline the chocolate fingers.

So what the hell happened? They were nicked for walking off with 'sports gear' from M&S and Tesco in Weybridge. According to Yahoo, "One said she had no idea why she'd taken sports gear as she didn't even like wearing the stuff. They seemed shaken up." Clearly the mother in law...

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The 'controversial' film based loosely around Brian Clough's 44 day tenure as manager of Leeds United is out today, and to celebrate we've got our sweaty mitts on some booty. We have a copy of the book (before the film came the book) and a Damned United branded whistle - yes, a shiny, metal, branded whistle - to give to one of our dedicated readers. All you have to do is leave a comment saying what you would have called a book about Brian Clough's life.

Here's our feeble effort - 'A healthy baby boy, let's call him.....Nigel'

You can surely do better than that! You have a week.

Keep your eyes open for more 'exclusive' stuff coming soon.

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So Damned United is out tomorrow – or today depending on when/where you’re reading this handsome mock up of a post – and so to celebrate, myself (Jakky Barbituates) and ‘The Manc’ have been out on the tiles, chanting Cloughie related songs and smashing back booze in a manner that the big man would only admire (we hope). I’ve always fancied myself of something of a gaffer-to-be after pwning Championship Manager games since the dawn of their existence (Swansea City from the 3^rd to the Premier League in consecutive seasons anyone?)  - Well... Come one... Most of us have eh?

Incidentally we’ve got an awesome competition coming up tomorrow, whereby you’ll be able to win some really ace Damned United merchandise – so make sure you check the blog tomorrow... But for now, I’ve just found this image that REALLY makes me want to see the film.

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Here at DSOTB we love footballing characters - and they don't come much bigger in terms of characters than Brian Clough - former hero of Nottingham Forest and Derby County, and perhaps the biggest 'why wasn't he...' ever when it comes to managment of our beloved England.

 That's why - with a little push from our friend Rich who has kindly furnished us with videos, pics and various other Damned United paraphanalia - we're going to turn Darkside into a bit of a homage to the great man over the next few days, and along with some of our favourite other oleole.com sites - treat you to something of a Cloughiethon.

Peter Morgan, scriptwriter, said of the original book "It deals with themes I love: Alcoholism and self-destruction and psychotic male competitiveness and treachery." Themes that we can all relate too (to a point), and no doubt are gonna make one hell of a film.

So to kick off -...

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Luton have had a bad lot of it this year… From cock-bag Barwick stealing 30 points from them earlier in the year to more bollocks from the FA, they’ve struggled against all adversity and somehow still (just about) have an (admittedly very outside) chance to stay up, and have made the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy final at Wembley – in what will no doubt be a fitting swansong to the loyal reams of happy Hatters who have stuck by their team throughout.

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Courtesy of studs up, and a dedication to all those Man Utd. fans and the brash "I think we're going to win 5 trophies" comments that have been dancing across their lips... Are you still going to win it boys? Oooh - not so sure now...

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Ground: Gresty Road

Match: Crewe Alexandra v Leeds

Result: 2-3

Reason: Woman running line - Sorry ladies, she was shite

Round trip: 291 miles

Worth it?: For the pie - yes, for the comeback - yes, for the officals - God no!

Pie: Pukka Meat + Potato

Price: £2.40

3 word review: Gorgeously disintegratingly soggy

Rating: 4 pies out of 5

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Here’s a long post about the Spice Boys of music… I can’t be bothered to read it all, let along write about it – but what I did note was the mention of Carlos Tevez, who has been supplementing his magnificent footballing career with a rather impressive bash at hip hop… And by fuck is it terrible… Step forward Piola Vago.

Mercifully sparing his teammates the pain of listening to his out of tune ramblings “

Here it's all hip-hop, all in English, so they don't understand a thing. They want to hear it, they ask me, but I say no to them. If they don't understand, what's the point of making them listen to it?" Tevez told The Times of his former West Ham team mates... Unfortunately you darksiders aren’t so lucky…Follow this link I command you!

Mind numbing isn’t it – and...

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Have a look at this fella

Now imagine him not in football shirt, but down the pub. Wouldn't look twice would you ladies?

Now look at this fine filly

 

Now tell me they make a perfect couple.

This is Alex Bruce (son of Steve and truly shit footballer. Alex, not Steve. He was a legend) and Lindsey Strutt (some kind of Northern slaggy-type bird). Talk about digging for gold.

And as a bonus, here she is at 'work'

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