Kaka kept his kecks on

Saturday, 18 October 08, 03:22 PM · Comments(1)

You heard me right. Far from trying to emulate his fellow South American counterparts in some exotic bedroom gymnastics (Cristiano Ronaldo bedding numerous birds in a week, and Fat Ronaldo's 'shit-they're-blokes!' episodes spring to mind), that bloke whose name sounds like a French kid needing a shit has announced that everyone should wait until their wedding night before scoring the ultimate goal.

Yes Darksiders, a Brazilian footballer in 'No sex' shocker, well, at least until he'd married his sweetheart, and according to a quote on Goal.com, it was all the sweeter for it. This guy obviously has jelly for brains, because it's plain to see that whilst she had the eyes on the prize (married to one of the world's richest footballers, set up for life, no doubt with a hideously wieghted pre-nup), and the only balls our virtuous Kaka was thinking of were on the pitch, she must have been getting it from somewhere. You see, no one looks like Caroline Celico and doesn't get a regular seeing to. It's just not natural. And if she did resist riding the sausage until she got married, then she's the most selfish woman ever. Love, if you've got it, share it.