Christiano Ronaldo's new squeeze - does she look a bit like a man?

Tuesday, 31 March 09, 06:22 PM · Comments(3)

She may have a dubious face and teeth that wouldn’t look out of place in a horse’s mouth – but ‘World class swordsman’ Cristiano Ronaldo’s new girlfriend is undoubtedly fit- as the buxom Brazilian slag, otherwise known as Gabriela, is a gym instructor.

Word is that the liaison has been progressing for nearly a month now, but a report in Spanish paper Sport, however, suggests the relationship will be meeting a swift conclusion, if the wishes of her father Jadson are fulfilled. You see, Gaby’s policeman father has taken exception to the Manchester Utd star, ordering him to “stay her from her and keep your hands off”. No mention of lusty cock then? Additionally, he has told his daughter that he does not trust Ronnie, and has advised her to end the relationship.

It seems that Jadson may well be fighting a losing battle though, as far as keeping the modesty of his daughter sacred, as Gabriela has been offered €200,000 to appear naked in the Brazilian Playboy... My advice, get all over it like the thrush that is currently keeping your loins a-tingling Gabriela! DSOTB estimates you have 2 weeks left with Cristiano, and after that’s all over – you’ll be left with only one option – and that’s getting your norks out for Dark Side, and we pay nothing more than 5 sheets and a balti pie.

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