So Damned United is out tomorrow – or today depending on when/where you’re reading this handsome mock up of a post – and so to celebrate, myself (Jakky Barbituates) and ‘The Manc’ have been out on the tiles, chanting Cloughie related songs and smashing back booze in a manner that the big man would only admire (we hope). I’ve always fancied myself of something of a gaffer-to-be after pwning Championship Manager games since the dawn of their existence (Swansea City from the 3^rd to the Premier League in consecutive seasons anyone?)  - Well... Come one... Most of us have eh?

Incidentally we’ve got an awesome competition coming up tomorrow, whereby you’ll be able to win some really ace Damned United merchandise – so make sure you check the blog tomorrow... But for now, I’ve just found this image that REALLY makes me want to see the film.

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Here at DSOTB we love footballing characters - and they don't come much bigger in terms of characters than Brian Clough - former hero of Nottingham Forest and Derby County, and perhaps the biggest 'why wasn't he...' ever when it comes to managment of our beloved England.

 That's why - with a little push from our friend Rich who has kindly furnished us with videos, pics and various other Damned United paraphanalia - we're going to turn Darkside into a bit of a homage to the great man over the next few days, and along with some of our favourite other oleole.com sites - treat you to something of a Cloughiethon.

Peter Morgan, scriptwriter, said of the original book "It deals with themes I love: Alcoholism and self-destruction and psychotic male competitiveness and treachery." Themes that we can all relate too (to a point), and no doubt are gonna make one hell of a film.

So to kick off -...

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Luton have had a bad lot of it this year… From cock-bag Barwick stealing 30 points from them earlier in the year to more bollocks from the FA, they’ve struggled against all adversity and somehow still (just about) have an (admittedly very outside) chance to stay up, and have made the Johnstone’s Paint Trophy final at Wembley – in what will no doubt be a fitting swansong to the loyal reams of happy Hatters who have stuck by their team throughout.

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Courtesy of studs up, and a dedication to all those Man Utd. fans and the brash "I think we're going to win 5 trophies" comments that have been dancing across their lips... Are you still going to win it boys? Oooh - not so sure now...

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Ground: Gresty Road

Match: Crewe Alexandra v Leeds

Result: 2-3

Reason: Woman running line - Sorry ladies, she was shite

Round trip: 291 miles

Worth it?: For the pie - yes, for the comeback - yes, for the officals - God no!

Pie: Pukka Meat + Potato

Price: £2.40

3 word review: Gorgeously disintegratingly soggy

Rating: 4 pies out of 5

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Here’s a long post about the Spice Boys of music… I can’t be bothered to read it all, let along write about it – but what I did note was the mention of Carlos Tevez, who has been supplementing his magnificent footballing career with a rather impressive bash at hip hop… And by fuck is it terrible… Step forward Piola Vago.

Mercifully sparing his teammates the pain of listening to his out of tune ramblings “

Here it's all hip-hop, all in English, so they don't understand a thing. They want to hear it, they ask me, but I say no to them. If they don't understand, what's the point of making them listen to it?" Tevez told The Times of his former West Ham team mates... Unfortunately you darksiders aren’t so lucky…Follow this link I command you!

Mind numbing isn’t it – and...

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Have a look at this fella

Now imagine him not in football shirt, but down the pub. Wouldn't look twice would you ladies?

Now look at this fine filly

 

Now tell me they make a perfect couple.

This is Alex Bruce (son of Steve and truly shit footballer. Alex, not Steve. He was a legend) and Lindsey Strutt (some kind of Northern slaggy-type bird). Talk about digging for gold.

And as a bonus, here she is at 'work'

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Shock news from John Lichfield of the Independent. Up to one in six professional footballists tested in a recent 'hair opinion poll' were found to have traces of drugs in samples ripped unjustly from their scalps (Fabien Barthez managed to avoid this test).

The main nose candy of choice appeared to be DHEA, which builds muscle but doesn't linger in the urinary system, but does stay in hair. 7 out of 32 players from the French League's top echelons were found to be cheating. That's 21.8%! Over 1/5th! And they aren't going to be named. Why? Why? Why?

Imagine if this was the Premier League. There'd be outrage! There'd be tabloid rage! There'd be public calls for someone to resign! But no, it's France, land of the cheese-eating surrender monkeys, and...

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If so it seems you're not alone, at least amongst the people of Inverness. There have been over 1000 adverts for sexual liaisons on an unnamed site, according to the Highland Times, including one cheeky Celtic chappie who wanted to romp with a ravishing Rangers wriggler during the recent Old Firm game.

This is what Dark Side is all about. Tell us your stories about getting with the enemy. Have you ever bedded a Blackburn beauty just so you could puke in her handbag? Seduced a smokin' Stoke guy so you could leave him a present in his shoe? What about seeing a bloke's Liverpool tattoo and promptly removing all privileges? Let us know and you too could be big news in the Highland Times (you know you want to).

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Gattuso (definately gay - see picture) – personally one of my favourite grizzled old I-Ti generals, and a workhouse to boot. He sticks his head where armoured wild horses fear to tread, and oh so often he does it with passion and (previously) great hair.

And now he’s been ruled out for the rest of the season with a serious knee injury – he has to find something to do, and launching a tongue-lashing towards Sir Alex Ferguson and Jose Mourinho seems the way forward in the midfield general’s mind.

You see, he has recently claimed that his side AC Milan would have beaten Manchester United in the Champions League had they qualified for the competition this season. “If we had faced Manchester United, we would have won. The Champions League is alw...

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