Yes, we know there's a football match tonight, and yes, we know there's a fair chance that it will either be a 0-0 borefest, or a 3-0 thrashing by Bilic's boys, but the real question we have for you is which of these lovely ladies wins your....heart?

Will it be the lovely blond representing England

...or the other lovely blond from Croatia?

Thanks to the lads at Totally Crap for the pics. Keep up the good work fellas.

She's a babe.

She's hot.

She's carrying football boots.

I don't know her name, and I don't care.

I've learnt some things in the last few days... One is that (and spare me with your 'wait to see what's coming' optimists) England are never going to win a fuckin' major trophy as long as I live, second is that the standard of the bloggers on OleOle is bloody magnificent, and third is that my pessimism for the English game seems to be shared by a number of them. Now I know this blog is all about the naughtiest bits of football - and it is... Just look at the tits on Gary Linekar's missus below (ouch), but we are going to cover more serious issues in the sport too. Namely when the clowns at the FA fuck up and say... Hire Steve McLaren or dock Luton 30 points...

This time though, it's the state of the British game as a whole that is concerning me, and notably the inflation of ticket prices, wages in the game and the loss of football to the common ma...

I think I've done it! I finally found a footballer I want to have sex with, and he's called Heather.

Heather Mitts to be precise, and she's US 'soccer' player who is smokin' hot!

Seriously, check her out, and make sure you follow her career progression, cos once she ditches the footy, she'll be coming to a catwalk/centrefold near you.

Strumpet and Jermaine Defoe ex, Charlotte Mears has made it back into the WAG first team... kinda.

After falling hard when pint-sized dimwit Defoe ditched her to try and make good a futile effort to bed Danielle Lloyd, (yes the former serial WAGger and racist), Mears is back in the sport support of a super star.

I say super star, but actually mean nobody, well at least nobody in terms of trying to get a table at the Ivy, becoming a top flight footballer and spelling your own name right. Yes, I give you the new Mears man, MK Dons' Craig Dobson. A 5' 6" winger with a bag of tricks? That's what the Dons site tells us anyway. Can't help thinking they're trying to convince themselves. And does Mears have a thing for child sized forwards. Then again who knows, maybe Mears has the golden touch, everything...

A call out to all you female readers of DSOTB, a chance to show your true colours. We're looking for the girls out there who are true footy fans, who go to the away games to Carlisle on a rainy February Wednesday evening. Show us how much you supprt your team by sending us a pic in your shirt. Fellas, if you have a chick who follows the beautiful game more than you (be ashamed), send us a snap of her in her gear. Real girls in football shirts, it's the future.

Looks like Joe Cole should have gone to Specsavers. Yes she may be dressed for 'a long day on her feet' (thisislondon.co.uk), but she surely has some less grannyish shoes in her closet. And the skirt pulled up to her armpits? Simon Cowell would be proud. The hair? Don't get me started. As for the face....well....I guess you don't look at the mantlepiece when you're poking the fire.

No, the former Arsenal misery isn't brokering a lucrative deal to move to the Go Ahead Eagles, but is merely being sued for half his accumulated wealth because he was unable to keep his dick in the territories it had clearance for.

Ex Mrs. Henry, Claire Merry is swooping like only a WAG scorned can, for £10 Million. Brilliant. I never liked the fuck, and then he decided to play for Arsenal... Though he deserves some credit for being so sensitive back when it all fell apart, leaving the only option to flee to Barca in a manner similar to a dog retreating after receiving a size 12 in the ribs:

“… lots of th...

Fair play to the guy. Swiss player Behrami may look like a leering idiot, but man has he managed to score a hot betty! Check out Miss Elena Bonzanni, and then tell me that if her boyf wasn't an international footballer and came up to her in a club would she even bother wasting the breath of telling him to fuck off? Would she chuff!

In our first WAG post (albeit shamelessly ripped from the bosom of Who Ate All The Pies), we bring you the arm candy currently belonging to Gary Lineker. Take a look, then tell me how the jug-eared former Leicester City goofball managed to bag himself this Piece Of Ass (POA from hereon in).