Under Paul Ince, Blackburn have managed only 3 wins from 17 Premiership games and the club are in big trouble lying second bottom in the table. Their last

Love him or hate him, or suggest that he's pretty much the best footballer ever to grace the Premiership - there's no doubt that Cristiano Ronaldo has been known to fling himself to ground a touch easier than many other players in the league.

Or conversely that despite his magnificent talent, he's a whinging little cheating fu*k

I'm saying nothing (ahem) as it's a Friday and I'm too busy preparing for tomorrow's exciting clash with Watford (oh dear)... Here's a video, apparently made by Unknowngenius1985 - that investigates a number of his techniques....

Thought you may want to see it..Oh - and watch out if you have sensitive ears, as the music backing does contain MANY profanities...

It seems that David Beckham’s up for a rollicking, balls out, stiff upper something good time when he finally shifts his tired old legs over to AC Milan – as connexion.org report that there’s a whole lot of prostitution going on in Italian football...

Discussing an article reported in national ‘haterag’, The Daily Mail, they say that a male hooker, who is also a 3^rd division footballer, says other players pay him for sex after games. The prostitute, who prefers to go by the moniker of "Victory" says that the gay sex romps take place in locker rooms, hotels, etc.

Boasting of a big client list that includes a number of Serie A, and even internationally renowned players – he says "we're talking about more than just kissing"! Alledging that a number of the players involved have...

Not only do we at DSOTB get to an awful lot of football matches between us, we're also hungry drunks - and while necking the customary couple of pints at half time, we have been known to indulge in a pie or twain. Therefore, this feature is going to illustrate just how good they are (out of 10) - with a two word, or less, response to the (put on big booming space like voice here) PIES of THE WORLD.

First up Reading at the Majeski Stadium vs. Coventry on Tuesday... and this 'little beauty'

Rating: 3/10 - Response: Tawdry Mess

 If you've eaten a pie (or are heading to a game soon), take a picture - write a 1-2 word review and send us the evidence. You too can be a part of dark side's crusade to find the NATION's BEST PIE (yup...

Anyone got any money on which Premiership Christmas Party is going to lead to most rape allegations this Xmas? We suggest Big Phil Scolari may have some on his own boys, as he’s recently banned the horny pair of Didier Drogba and Nicolas Anelka from attending Lil’ Wayne/ Akon’s big Christmas party taking place in Christmas week, no doubt ensuring that the boys will be hammering some piece of cheap capital hooker (who are relying on footballers, as the credit crunch is biting hard) come their own party paid for by the big-money boys at Stamford Bridge.

It’s a shame for them, as it sounds like the shindig is going to be big news – with the rappers even importing snow from Greenland to give it a real festive feel. An anonymous source suggested that "The footballers were really up for a big night out but the bosses have said no", ensuring that they won’t be hobnobbing with the likes ...

I remember at the precocious dawn of Robbie Keane's career when Alex Ferguson said that the Irish dynamo wasn’t worth 6million pounds. Indeed, that smug Scotsman suggested that ½ a million was more towards the mark, and that our Robbie would be more suited stuck in the reserves for a couple of years.

Now the smug gobshite has suggested that he doesn’t recognise City as a major threat, asking "where are they at the moment? Our threats are Chelsea and Liverpool, who are sitting above us. The money is for the future. Mark Hughes must decide how it will shape his team. At this moment in time, that is not the case."

What happened to the humility of taking every game as it comes? Especially when the Red Devils are shy of a few points at this stage of the season. I only hope that the Blues (who I have absolutely no affinity with - honest) fuck them up good and proper on Sunday! And I'l...

Kevin Kyle – he of the scaldin' balls, dubious disciplinary record and unenviable strike record (26 goals in 177 games) has received a big ol’ two-fingered salute from Coventry City fans – who this week hijacked an online Hartlepool poll, and really made their thoughts on the big bundle of Scottish sinew (sensationally pictured below in the run-up to that infamous shitty shorts incident) known.

Vital Hartlepool (two words that I never thought would be used in conjunction with each other… Ever) asked whether “Pools should try to extend the loan deal for Kevin Kyle” – a question that received a lukewarm response, with ‘Only if the price is right’ taking a big lead amongst t...

Just weeks after awarding one of the most controversial goals in the history of league football, blundering buffoon Stuart Atwell has been at it again, this time incurring the wrath of Derby fans, whilst ensuring that he’s owed a few drinks next time he takes a trip to Nottingham.  

Attwell, who awarded that incredible Reading 'goal that never was' in their clash with Watford at Vicarage Road in September, was at the centre of a furore again in the East Midlands derby as he disallowed Miles Addison's potential winner for Derby for an alleged push.

Just moments earlier, Attwell had awarded a disputed penalty - which the Rams' Na...

You'll bloody love this! Especially the footage for Tottenhams 4th goal... Forward to about 2 minutes 25 seconds through this for the money shot, and realise why Sky's Fan Zone is pretty fucking good..

After coins had been thrown, fans were phoning in complaining of foul language and spitting, and racism had even been suggested at one match – Alan suggested that a culture of fear was coming back into football, and with it the beginnings of a death of the relaxed, have-a-good-time attitude that characterised (on the whole) the late 90s and early naughties.

Sure – I for one am certainly not one to advocate having every fan sitting down on tartan rugs, sipping their milky tea and politely applauding good sportsmanship on either side... After all, I was heartily getting stuck in to the whisper-quiet Wolverhampton fans from the away end, two fingers thrust fir...