Step forward Antonio Cassano. Legend.

Not content with slagging off every Italian coach under the sun in his new book (out in time for Christmas in all good bookshops, and some rubbish ones), he also reveals his sexploits in explicit detail. OK, you've bagged 'between 600 and 700' women. Well done.

What is quite funny though, is the truly Dark Side was in which he swapped whatever girl he'd shagged in the team hotel with a waiter - and all for a few cream-filled croissants. Genius. Meet girl, shag girl, get bored of girl, swap girl for pastry-based snacks...the 'perfect night' as he puts it. And now he's very much in love with a water polo player...who's...

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With so much going on in local football me being a bit bored on a Sunday afternoon, it's time to get our teeth into local football and what goes on at the 'grass roots'. Which is what we're about after all.

Wonderful site and soon to be friends of these pages (if they continue to bring us dynamite like this) are the lovely folks at thisisbristol.co.uk. They've reported about local crew Long Ashton FC who are, quite literally, baring all for TV. Channel 4 have up with a new way to titillate teenage boys by coming up with a programme called The Sex Education Show. I can picture the disappointment in so many bedrooms across the country when the boys find out it's all about safe sex and not catching anything when you dip...

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Joe Amphlett must be the stupidest bloke ever to be given airtime on local radio (and that's saying something given that Moyles and Scott Mills started out there). Given the chance to judge a contest to see which Millwall fan was the 'hottest' and give the lucky lady the chance to model the new kit in some catalogue or something, he said on his radio show that some of them were 'munters'. Not content with leaving at that, a slip we could have forgiven him for, he went on to compound his misery by saying there was more 'Kate Moose than Kate Moss'. Fair play to him for coming up with that line, but WTF? He got the sack from his judging position, predictably

We had a crafty look at the Facebook group, and there are some excellent examples of the female form in ...

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And they are, no getting away from it, one of the best teams on the planet. They have grace, poise, flare, charisma, skills to die for - and at DSOTB we know why.

When you can play to impress fans such as the lovely lady below - with the nailed on guarantee that if she comes near the dressing room she will *definitely* shag you (and your teammates) - why would you be crap?

England, on the other hand, have to impress honeys like this:

Now tell me we play a beautiful game... 

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Not only does this ballbag throw himself all over the pitch like a cock, he throws his cock into everything with a pulse. What a turd.

Why, when he's married to Cheryl (one fifth of a great wetdream) Tweedy? Only a complete mental would cheat so much on and off the pitch. Ashley Cole is what is wrong with English Football. In fact - Ashley Cole is what's wrong with England. I'd go so far as to say that he is solely responsible for the downfall of modern society and the uprise of the youth gang gun and knife culture that is becoming the ruination of our once great Britain. Well, him and George W Bush. Because cowards who dive on the floor every time a defender comes near will probably be the sort of coward who will stab you instead of having a proper fight. Everyone who has a knife - you're a manifestation of an Ashley Cole-induced cultural meltdown brought on by diving on the field and using words like 'Blinging' and 'LOL' - in other words -...Read Post »

Yes, we know there's a football match tonight, and yes, we know there's a fair chance that it will either be a 0-0 borefest, or a 3-0 thrashing by Bilic's boys, but the real question we have for you is which of these lovely ladies wins your....heart?

Will it be the lovely blond representing England

...or the other lovely blond from Croatia?

Thanks to the lads at Totally Crap for the pics. Keep up the good work fellas.

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She's a babe.

She's hot.

She's carrying football boots.

I don't know her name, and I don't care.

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In news brought to us by EADT (the East Anglian Daily Times for the uninitiated) of which we are avid readers, it seems there's something of a shit storm brewing at AFC Sudbury. The BSB Southern League has never had so much excitement with allegations of sexual discrimination from Les King (63 years old, don't you know).

He contends that the club is discriminating unfairly against its elderly male fans by reducing season ticket prices only when they reach 65, as opposed to the 60 year threshold for the ladies. As far as the club is concerned, they are not going to change their policy, sticking as they are with the line that the government pensionable ages are...

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