Would you rather have the turgid, lazy David Bentley, or this magnificently energetic dog in your starting X1..? Sorry - had to ask

Under Paul Ince, Blackburn have managed only 3 wins from 17 Premiership games and the club are in big trouble lying second bottom in the table. Their last

We know those wags are a nasty bunch... but picking on a widowed ginger lass with buck teeth!

Ok, the wags in question, one Carly Zucker and Nicola, err, something the fuck, maybe didn't actually mean to make her cry and weren't actually picking on her. But that would be boring, right? Well, I only saw literally two minutes and I have to say, these wags are not my type. Even reduced to jungle slacks and so desperate for a champagne and a night at China Whites, to offer them a lemonade in a flute glass and flash a torch behind them would defo result in a blowy I couldn't do it - well maybe if Spurs had lost. Fucking Fulham, fucking Gomes, fucking Gareth Bale and his god damn hair... I'd just got used to winning! See Mr. Hotspur for the deets and a controversial perspective on that clown we currently have employed between...

You'll bloody love this! Especially the footage for Tottenhams 4th goal... Forward to about 2 minutes 25 seconds through this for the money shot, and realise why Sky's Fan Zone is pretty fucking good..

Ok, I admit that isn't much of headline... No, hang on. It maybe the best fucking headline this blog has ever seen. Triumph for the lily whites!

We may be down about 15 mil give or take in compensation, down four back room staff and still bottom despite a win, but... we now have one Redknapp in charge. Good ol' Harry. It is literally about the only thing I can imagine that would have brought about a change of heart in Spurs' hearts. And it has. I sit typing away, thinking that tonight MoD isn't going to be torturous misery, but the both of renaissance.

Clearly I have lost all perspective, though surely only an Arsenal fuck (and possibly some disgruntled Pompey fans) would deny me this frivolous moment in light of the shambles I've seen at The Lane so far this season. Champion's League here we come... maybe not, but it's a start and we're facing in the right direction, which is a bonus.

...

Courtesy of our pal Jeffo (I would link but he's too lazy to blog), and one which should entertain the handsome Harry Hotspur I have no doubt ;-) Congratulations Spurs!

OK, so he may have proven an absolute crock at Spurs so far, leading pretty much the least effective strike-force in the Premier League thus far, but at least he has his mind fully on the job…

Or not as it seems, and this news from tribalfootball.com may well piss a lot of Spurs fans right of!

You see, not content with slumming around London earning £XX,000 to do a job that would get a lot of us sacked, Pavlyuchenko has recently been voted in as a deputy for Vladimir Putin's United Russia party. “Pav won a seat on the regional council in his home town of Stavropol, claiming 63 per cent of the vote.”

As well as heartily angering a number of North Londoners, who would probably rather Roman had his mind firmly on sticking the ball in the onion-bag rather than wanking about promo...

....for burglary. I know what you were thinking though.

Kim Lewis/Mohamed/whatever, 48, mother to the 28 year old *hottie* that is Danielle was arrested and released on bail with a male pal for allegedly burgling the home of her ex-husband, the future Mrs. Lineker's Dad. Confused? Who cares? You get to see a pic of a babe in her knickers in a minute, so read on.

It just seems hilarious to us here at DSOTB that El Jugeario (as he was known when he played for Barcelona), or Rinika-sahn (which is what they called him at Grampas 8), or plain old Wing Nut (see Leicester City and Spurs ex-players for confirmation), is marrying a chick whose Mum is only one year older than him. If ever there was a sign that your bird is a bit young, it's settling down to watch Antiques Roadshow...

Worst start to a top flight season for 36 years... fuck this is depressing.

An immediate reaction from those unfortunate enough to have been sat next to me during the fucking shower that was our most recent home loss was that Spurs have always been underachievers in recent history. Tough to disagree with. Never before though have we spent as frivolously as a girl named after a hotel in Jimmy Choo store.

You see... Ramos is pretty much like the Hilton girl. He spent a lot of time dicking around not doing much of anything, then he won stuff at Seville, and arrived and Spurs and won something else. It is not dissimiliar to Paris, she was nothing until she got filmed fucking, then boom, everyone was suckered into wanting a piece....

Thanks to the guys at Football365 who have brought it to our attention that the latest, greatest signing for The Mighty Reds has told Sir Alex that he won't cause any disciplinary trouble for the Great Scot.

The reason? He doesn't swear and carries his Bible with him everywhere he goes. Let's see how he gets on with the potty-mouthed Rooney, then, cos we all know we don't need lip readers when a decision goes against him! He says he's fallen off the rails in his earlier days, but now he's a reformed chap, born again...whatever. Villa365 has it right in the comments section of the post when he says 'he might as well carry the Beano round with him, it's all a load of bollocks'. Well said sir. Or madam.

So will all this new-found enlightenment ensure Berbs...