'Homesick' Nakamura Leaves Celtic For Espanyol.

Despite Shunsuke Nakamura being offered a further deal by the Parkhead Club the player has snubbed the offer and decided to go home and become the 'perico' signing for Barcelona's 2nd club, Espanyol.

Yakuza Called

The noises from the Nakamura camp all pointed to him becoming the face of Yokohama Marinos, where he would be attending functions, open days, filming numerous adverts and sometimes play for the football club.

This was backed up with Nakamura citing homesickness as a reason he wanted to leave the East End of Glasgow.

Being a man of honour, principal and loyalty Nakamura decided to fulfil the promise made to The Marinos and sign the first lucrative contract offered by a struggling La Liga Club who are always in the shadows of their successful neighbours.

Yokohama chairman, Mascharu Saito was livid at the news: "He is a money grabbing wee shit." he bellowed while he instructed the waiting Yakuza to Spain.

Nakamura's interpreter was unavailable for comment, which was unusual considering that he was always available even though his client spoke and understood decent English for at least 2 seasons.

Poor Form On Irn Bru

The Celtic fans can't complain about Nakamuras decision. After 3 untouchable seasons he struggled to reach any sort of form last term. The player- who was played out of position for his whole time at Celtic- blamed his poor form last season- not on this fact- but on the travelling he has to do if he wants to represent Japan in meaningless World Cup Qualifiers.

The 1051m saving and one less plane trip will benefit his form and his homesickness. He plans to complete his move home via a few seasons in the MLS.

Nakamura also lifted the lid on Irn-Bru Gate where Celtic players took part in the hideous act of drinking Irn Bru and eating crisps on their to games. The internal enquiry is still on-going at the club in a sensational story that dwarfs Monster Munch Gate that engulfed Ibrox under Paul Le Guen.

He also confirms that you should never ask a Japanese person for directions.