Boruc And Others To Leave Celtic In The Summer.

Bayern Scout. Club Tropicana, La Manga. Last Night.

Celtic's title run-in was today plunged into chaos when it was revealed that they would face a fight to keep Artur Boruc and that their plan to sell unwanted squad members to the British Government would not be possible after a debt inducing budget.

International Playboy.

Bayern Munich will test Celtic with a £7m bid in the summer after scouting the Pole in La Manga this week. They are on the look out for a top-class stopper but have turned their attention to Boruc after his performances have caused his value to drop a massive £20m.

The Bayern scout said: "We need a goalkeeper, we haven't had a decent one since Ollie Khan, and Artur fits the bill. A Bayern goalkeeper must have an ego, be a playboy, doesn't mind cheating on his wife, likes a late night and likes beer."

Spooked.

This will just be one of the latest cost cutting measures from Celtic. They have earmarked certain squad members as 'Toxic Assets' and were planning on selling them to the government for £0.50p in the pound of their current value.

A Celtic spokesman said: "Since the Government took over Northern Rock they made it known they would consider taking on any player that we saw as a worthless asset for a knockdown value."

"They would then park the player at Newcastle in the hope he will recover some value before being sold on."

The deal is no longer on the table leaving Celtic creaking under the weight of  bloated, useless, squad members and fringe first-teamers.

"They are blaming the budget but all indicators point to the uselessness of the Peter Lovenkrands deal as the real reason. They are never going to re-coup any money on him and Darling and Brown are spooked." the spokesman said.

"Chris Killen is distraught"

Bloated, Useless.

This is a further blow to the Celtic support who this week received the crushing news that their manager won't be leaving in the summer, despite vicious rumour mongering on the internet that he is and the chance that he may lose the league to the worst Rangers team ever, and he will be free to spend his budget on more bloated, useless, squad members and fringe first-teamers.