Can The Candyman Can?

It all started off so well.

Over on the darkside they decide to blow their budget on, what we hope will be, sub standard signings and hope that, though the press say The Huns beat us to the signing of Haffwittery, we really just howked up the price. Truthfully, I think we were interested in this haffwit. His stats of 10 goals in 56 games and a former manager saying.....

It's a lot of money for a young lad and he's not the finished product, he's not quite as good in air as you would hope for someone that big, he pish on the ground and he hasn't got that thug quality Walter is looking for. But he's a young lad who can only improve from half a coo to a whole coo under Walter...

Lawire Sanchez then added that he was the Irish Peter Crouch before being lead away by Al Fayad bodyguards for a beheading after wasting millions of Fulhams money......lucky escape for the Hoops then.

After the dust had settled on this it looked like we were shopping at Harrods and not Lidils. Up first was the Russian Brattbakk who it seemed we were willing to spend over £6m on. This was before Pavlyuchenko joined Luci Toni wie the highest ratio of missed shots at Euro 2008. Surely, this means that we can gie them £3m and Derek Riordon now instead of lining the Oilgarchs pockets wie £6m big ones?

Next up was £16m Darren Bent. I went over to Harry Hostspurs Place (Jesus, it wie like Steptoes yard over there) for a wee blether and came back feeling like a poor cousin. Darren Bent is rumoured to be on £90,000 a week and we agreed the numbers widnae add up but then Mr Harry added this in when I mentioned he could move to West Ham for £70,000 a week wieoot moving hoose.......

But there's more or rather less to this than meets the eye... Bent's move to Spurs was for a number of reasons and 'geographical' was on that list

So, a 1 year loan deal? Or he is willing to move up north but only as far as the Midlands or the North East?

Over there they are talking about David Bentley, Lucas Poldolski and De La Red as being targets. They have already signed Modric who is proving to be one of the stars of Euro 2008. So, I left feeling a bit (as I have said) like a poor cousin but this morning reading this I felt as worthless as the shite that Steptoes horse eminates from it's behind.

The words "A winger from Derry City" had me reaching for the mid 90's Celtic annuals and remembering Paul Byrne. Were we really in oor position of strength going to poach the "second best player" (stole from KDS) in the Eirecom league (after St Pats Keith Foye) from WBA?

Paddy McCourt (sounds like an Irish comic and looks like Shaggy from Scobby Doo see above) was at CP for talks today and it looks like he will be oor first signing OF THE SUMMER!!!!! IS OOR FIRST SIGNING OF THE SUMMER.I can hear the laughter from the fourth estate and ibrox the now....

I canny comment on what kind of player he is. He will be signed for back up for oor wide players and for that fee is a gamble worth taking as(like Chris Killen last season) it's nae great loss if he fails as we huvnae spent millions on him (unlike Massimo or The Grav).

What it says aboot the squad players and youngsters current at CP is a major question and whether we should be signing a player that might not get near pushing for a first team place is another doubt.

He could turn oot to be a find. He could be like Kevin Doyle and the boy Hunt at Reading. A player that just needs the chance at a higher level. When he was the starman at Rochdale (!!!!) Man Citee bid £1.5m for him and he was hailed as the new George Best (something Haffwittery canny say will ever happen to him) in 2002.......

The Candystripes fans hold in him high regard, here is a post from KDS

None of you lot know anything about this guy. As a Derry city fan I think i'm able to comment on Paddy mc Court.

By far the most exciting player in the Eircom League, bags of skill, great vision and passing skills. Can be lasy going back but always gets the crowd on the edge of their seat.

The deal is 200K and two friendly games and a gala dinner.

No mention if the gala dinner has a sausage roll buffet or free plonk. But like a Derry Mizuno he has his own You Tube clip.

So, we should forget that we have signed an ex-Rochdale, Shamrock Rovers and Derry City player who has been oot for 5 weeks wie a back injury (which limited his games to 14 last season) and is rumoured to share a passion for things like the player he was compared to in 2002 (are we sure it's noo Paul Byrne????) and is another midfielder to add to the 125 GS has already signed in his 3 seasons.

We should just celebrate that after the leaving of Elvis, Paul Hartley will have competition in the beard growing stakes next season (Shaggy and Shaggery?) and that Kenny Missers move to The Huns paid for, maybe, a new hunskelper in the Paul Byrne mould....

But most of all....we have a Paddy in the Hoops and he is no plastic!!!!

Forza