Carlos Cuellar, Ugly Betty, Loovens and Marc Crosas

Available At All Good Hun Shops 

"I just walk right through the door...."

Does anyone else think, that watching men in short Speedos diving from a 10m board is wrong?LoTW has decided that it is and using the excuse that you were laughing at 'Team GB' coming last, again, for being late for work (my real work) is as believable as gathering a group of 'loyal' fans and telling them your best player- we can all now admit he was a player- won't be sold while ordering them a taxi.

So the Espanyolification continues as The Huns decided to sell Carlos Cueller to Aston Villa for 10m Euros. So we thank Carlos for the music, well not the music but that hand ball, which led this classic commentary that is a Celtic legend.

That hand ball also, maybe, cost them the league so we thank the 27 year old brace wearing Ugly Betty lookalike for this and also for giving us the biggest laugh since Michael Mols signed for The Huns and brought his mum along for the photo shoot.

As The Huns tried to blame the player for invoking the "Ifwegetputoutofeuropeyourgoing" clause and trying to 'moonbeam' the press with stories of pay rises, the ghost of Boumsung was lurking in the background as Carlos and his pet goat, Scape, wandered towards the Midlands...

While, questions should be asked why Saint Martin Of O'Neill has decided to give them money to 're-invest' in the squad- or sign the targets they couldn't afford- an esteemed contributor to the LoTW Hail Hails, Pujol- who is number 10 in the list of top 10 contributors to the Hail Hails- , summed it up, with the Hail Hail of the week.......

Just when you thought Birmingham couldn't get any uglier, Aston Villa go and sign Cuellar! Not "Hasta la vista" but "Adios Carlos"!!!!

That really should win a prize. I think Hail Hail of the week could be a feature, if LoTW gets any decent comments.

So what would really piss of The Hun hoards even more than their best player leaving? What about Celtic signing a Glenn Loovens a long term target of theirs in a show of GetItRightUpYou-Ness not seen since Scott Brown left salt and sauce land (Edinburgh for those not from Scotland).

Now, long term-and seeing past this a GetItRightUpYou to The Huns- this signing brings our scouting and the supposed transfer target list into question. We have already signed Marc Crosas on the evidence of a DVD and now we sign a player no-one heard of until R*ngers were linked and he had a decent game against us.

We might have known about him before but.....evidence of this summer points to Glen Loovens being a Plan Z signing after all our other targets decided not to come. Tamas, Basa and Mudlung have all been muted and all have a higher pedigree than Loovens. This seems to be left to chance and another punt and a lot of money at that for a punt.

Suppose, it could be worse. Next on the list was Lee Wilkie- I saw on another messageboard Mudlung described as the German Lee Wilkie- so we should welcome Glenn, if he signs, and hope he scores more goals like this.

For a closer view of The Loovenator I wandered over to The Best Cardiff Blog On OleOle and stole a quote....

"The fee mentioned is around £3 million which would be good money for a Championship centre back"

The ballad of Lee Naylor is being played on a Banjo after that bombshell.

But....we have signed a bloke from Barca. Xavi, the guy that kept him out the team, say's Barca will want him back after a year, he also said, inbetween wondering who would clean his boots now,....

'I would say this is a kid with a winning mentality and great control of the ball. Crosas has perfect vision and an offensive game and he creates many chances for the strikers. I believe that Celtic have closed a perfect piece of business.'

Marc Crosas himself- after he had woken up from being drugged, gagged and bundled into a van by John Reid's henchmen after looking for a 'Carlos Clause' in his contract on Sunday, after 35mins of watching us against St Mirren- slurred.....

'This is a fantastic opportunity for me. All the midfield players who are at Barca are compared to Xavi or Guardiola, but every player has different characteristics. What I have to do is not show that I can be compared to those players, but that I can play at a good level in my own right for Celtic.

Whether or not the manager plays the new Xavi on Sunday is anyones guess. I think Falkirk next week will see him get some game time but who he will replace is the big question. One, that I can't answer just now.

Again, LoTW used the contact list in his wee black book and spoke to my Barca mole, who gave me this piece of gold....

For €500,000, Celtic have got an absolute bargain. For Crosas too it is an excellent opportunity as competing against the likes of Xavi and Iniesta he was always going to have an uphill struggle to break into Barça's midfield. I've probably only seen Crosas play about ten times but he always looked a good prospect.

I think we will all agree this was worth the £10 I paid for it.

Remember LoTW is running it's own fantasy football league with a great Celtic related prize to the winner. League name is LOTW Super Lager Division 1 and password is Bolloxs.

All the gubbings I steal to make up this shit are on the Celtic Home Page and if you want to contribute some newsworthy stuff submit a throw in and ensure you tag it as Celtic. Also if you want to contact LoTW to tell me I'm a bawbag go to here and leave a comment or message.

Forza