Celtic Champions. Player By Player Review. How Original I know....

They tried to make me do a player of the year review and I said No, No, No. I mean, did they ever go to Van Gough "Hey you, aye, you the big ginger one eared guy...here's some paint, Chantelle's room needs a coat of magnolia.." No, I don't think they did but.....

Since I don't really care for the rumours and pesh that the media talk (over at View From 412 handles that very well) I huvnae got much choice but to run through the movers and shakers from the season Season 07/08.

Arfur Boruc (The Holy Goalie): Worth his weight (which seems to be increasing) in points and goals. His worth to the team canny be measured and he has a character the size of his belly. Might leave in the summer. He will leave as a legend. Highlight? Spartak Moscow and his daft wee dance when he is giving it the big GIRUY to all of Scotland. Lotw Rating: 8 out of 10

Mark Brown: Great save in Moscow to keep us in the tie but was part of the December collaspe. I reckon he would be just as guid as Sleazebag McGregor across the river if played week in week out. He willnae get the chance with us. Lotw Rating: 6 out of 10.

Andy Hinkel: Decent, solid if uninspiring performances. Bit like any German full back or German player. BMW if he was a car. Still decent 5 months for what was meant to be a settling in period. Lotw Rating: 6 out of 10.

Lee Naylor: 47 games none of them decent. Scored 1 goal and had 5 assists. Taxi in the summer for the weasel. Lotw Rating: 2 out of 10

Gary Caldwell (Calderbuer): Shoved out to full back for long spells and tried like a bear not to look like a fish out of water. He didnae succeed but proved he was an honest player if nothing else. This honesty developed towards the end of the season and after 2 great games against R*ngers had some calling him a future capitaino and comparing him to Feed The Bear for his driving from defence.

One of the main reasons we won the league. Lotw Rating: 9 out of 10.

Bobo Balde (Bombscare): Great game against Dundee Utd then a terrible outing against Motherwell. The big fellows time is up. It's a shame but he is a £30,000 a week weight that we can ill afford. Lotw Rating: 2 out of 10.

Mark Wilson (The Cursed): Injured and came back before the end of the season. Looked rusty. Could see left back as his best option of a first team game. Lotw Rating: 4 out of 10

Elvis Pressley: Eh? Is he still here. Get's a point for coming on against Spartak. Lotw Rating: 1 out of 10.

Joe Doumbe (B.I.T.S- Biggest in the shower): Cursed full back position strikes again. Was having a blinder against Milan before he collasped and missed the rest of the season. Lotw Rating: 2 out of 10 (gets a point fo the great afro he has now)

John Kennedy (JFK): Came back and looked ok. We were hoping a few months of games would return him to full fitness. Great game in Moscow but then it all went wrong. Big question mark over his future, which is a shame. That Romanian Ioan Ganea bastard has a lot to answer for as do the SFA for arranging usless friendlies. Lotw Rating: 4 out of 10.

Stephen McManus (Mick): Difficult season for the big man. Numerous partners then being out shone by his best partner. Has the captaincy came to early for the big man. Another decent honest professional and a decent man who speaks well. Whether that's enough....Lotw Rating: 6 out of 10.

Darren O'Dea: Rated (by man) as the best centre back at CP. Was victim of oor managers strange tactical nounce when he was put out to right back at Ibrox but the biggest price he pays is that he kicks wie his left foot. He will never partner McManus (who being the captain must be a given to play) for any measurable period of time. I would like to see him partnering Calderbuer. Lotw Rating: 6 out of 10.

Scott Brown (Skoosh): Difficult first season for the lhad. He will improve and it's not right to pick bones over his performances.

Paul Hartley (Zico): Our best performances came when he played. For me he didnae play often enough. A defo starter next season as he is the new Neil Lennon. Highlight? Has to be snapping Barry passback in two in the 3-2 victory over R*ngers. Enusred the bullies weren't going to bully no more. Deserved winner medal this year. Lotw Rating 9 out of 10.

Evander Sno (Frosty): Excellent game in the Nou Camp. Seems to get booed everytime he plays at CP. Highly rated by everybody but the fuckwits that buy season books. In the last year of his contract. Stick or twist time. Lotw Rating: 4 out of 10.

Massimo Donati (Mo): Flatters to deceive was made for players like him. Seemed like we were getting a "regista" Pirlo type player. Instead we got Jiri Jarosik wie dark hair. He has (like Jiri) ability and the talent. So much so, I would like to see him hang aboot. Well, he did score that goal against Donestk that deserves another year at least. Lotw Rating: 5 out of 10.

Barry Robson (Robbocop): I didnae want to sign him. But....we signed a player in the form of his life and he hauled the stuttering corpse of Team 3 over the finish line and to glory. I remember seeing Maradona winning a World Cup single handedly in 1986 (I have a great memory, I'm not that auld). I will tell ma kids aboot watching a Ginger fae the highlands winning the league in the same manner. Lotw Rating: 10 out of 10.

Nakamura: 3 years solid fitba' took it's toll on poor Naka. Never reached the levels of the previous two seasons and only showed flashes of his genius. Next season is his last and I fully expect it to be his best. Lotw Rating: 6 out of 10.

Aiden McGeady: Him driving past players, twisting and turning plus that turn in Aberdeen. His 11 bookings for nothing, his 8 goals (10 next year wee man) and 19 assists will long be remembered. He is a Celtic player in the Celtic Way. Lotw Rating: 10 out of 10.

Georgios Samaras (Sammy): Came on loan from the Citee, wie an easy way out....things are moving just too fast for me. Sorry, Man Citee and Oasis pun was too hard to resist. 6 goals from 21 games (16 as sub) proved he was an impact player. A couple of games when he started proved that the £3 million price tag is maybe a bit rich. But....he is the Greek pin up boy and a decent Euro 2008 mean that the price may have to be paid. I wouldnae pay it.....Lotw Rating: 7 out of 10.

Jan Vennegor Of Hesslelink (JVOH): The big man proved his worth in the title run in. His goal against The Huns was the turning point of the season. He scored big goals for us. A brickbat that was levelled against him as a negative for the anti-Vennegors. His comments prove that he knows what this club is about. I like the big man. 19 goals and 9 assists prove me right. Lotw Rating: 9 out of 10.

Scott McDonald (Skippy): 31 goals in 49 games and 9 assists. He cost this blogger money as I said he widnae score 15 goals this season. I was happy to be proved wrong. The torn faced lard arsed kangaroo proved that he deserved to go down in history of Celtic strikers who scored over 30 goals in a season. I'm putting money on him to score over 100 goals. Lotw Rating: 10 out of 10.

Derek Riordon (Deek, Lesser Spotted): Scored a important goal against St Mirren. Moaned to the media and the manager disnny like him. Could have been great but I think we can all agree the lacks elements of the modern game, which would help him make it at a top top club. Lotw Rating: 3 out of 10.

Chris Killen (Killer): Why? Lotw Rating: 1 out of 10.

Gordon Strachan: Ok, he wll continue to play 4-4-2. He will sign at least two further midfielders this close season. He will play players out of position and worse of all he will take anything between 15 to 20 mins to make a sub. He became the first manager since Big Jock to win 3 in a row. Only the 3rd manager in oor history. He know has a better record than St Martin Of O'Neill. He treats the press like the rats they deserve to be. His "prepared" statement after winning the league was a stroke of genius. He eventually (no matter the circs) got it right.

I expect the same mumps and moans next season. But better the devil you know eh? Lotw Rating: 8 out of 10.

So what was my highlights and lowlights?

Highlights. Naka's goal against R*ngers. What a goal. It was oor first goal in 4 games against them. It was a goal that gave us the confidence to spur on and gave us heart to score the the last minute winner. Winning the league on the last day was also special. BBC News 24 at 11pm on the night of the UEFA Vase final was memorable as well.

Lowlights. The passing of Phil O'Donnell and Tommy Burns both moments that you'll remember where you were when you were told. But.....this season has seen an upturn in colour and fantastic banners from The Green Brigade. We have the Holy Goalie song and the legend that is "We Follow" that is taking off faster than a plane from Terminal 4 at Heathrow. So the abuse that the "consumer" gie players at CP and the booing that has happened on numerous occassions this season (add to that the Strachan Get Tae Fuck chants) mean that CP is not a nice place to watch fitba'.

We have fantastic support. But it's time for us to stand up and support the team louder than the glory hunting fuckers who leave to beat the traffic. No matter your thoughts on the player (that's what places like this are for) when they pull on that Green and White Hooped top they deserve oor backing.

We can do it. It has been proved. Barca, The Huns, Hibs and Aberdeen in the final few games. We can support and not abuse. In a perfect world though the consumer I wish would "do one" and go back to watching fitba' on Sky and shopping on wie his wife. But wie the waiting list now being re-started I fear the glory hunter is hear to stay.

I hope I'm wrong though.

Forza

Update: Lhads, full season stats are here at Celtic Stats