Celtic Plunder 'Well, The Freefall 'Marnocks Roll Up And The Rumour O'Filter.

It's been a MASSIVE week for the new world outlook. The keyholders of the free world tore up their rulebook and made themselves cool again, Celtic scored a Big Cup goal, hurrah, cheating monkey-rat Kevin Thomson got injured, really this time he didnae kid on he was injured to escape a sending off, and is oot for the season and Bernie Ecclestone has made moves to become The Huns new spokesman regarding that song.

Bernie, in true Hun fashion, decided that guys painting their faces black, making monkey noises and wearing t-shirts proclaiming they were "Lewis Hamiltons family" was a "joke" and nothing to do wie racism. Oh, the banter then.

I hear the political wing of the R*ngers Trust are planning on using this example of banter to wash away their sins.

Celtic Spring Motherwells Offside Trap.

There was 11 offsides against Celtic on Saturday. The North Stand linesman was as overworked as Sarah Palins credit card in a shopping mall. Scott McDonald and Cillian Sheridan were caught mair often than a dead pike in the Clyde as their one-sided partnership seems on the verge of collaspe. Scott McDonald seems to thinks so as well...

"He's been injured a lot, but he came back pre-season and just blew everyone away. He's tall, he can run, he can finish, he has skill and he is one of the fittest guys I know" said the bush kangaroo noticing how Cillian is showing a lack of all of the above in recent games.

If Cillian came into the Dragon's Den and asked for £50,000 to contribute to his future development then this dragon would be oot. While Craig Beattie, whom Cillian has been likened to by this blog, looked like scoring, Cillian looks like this wee spell in the 1st team has damaged his confidence and that he goes home at night and hides under the covers wimpering.

But he is the 6th choice striker.

Oor manager was quite happy wie oor comfortable 2-0 victory over The 'Well. A goal as rare as haggis on highlands moorland from Paul Hartley, who celebrated old school style by running to the middle of the auld jungle, and Scott McDonald scored his 7th goal against his former club. GIRUY.

"....they started well in the first 20mins. We got oor second wind then and so did the crowd, because I think the crowd were like us- mentally tired from the Wednesday game- and once we got over all that we started playing some decent stuff and the game became easier for us" beamed wee Chesney while cursing the Hessellinkites that is gripping the club.

Possession stats of 57% is a decent returning considering Barry Robson kept on losing the ba' and looked like he was playing wie a ton of bricks on his back. Paul Hartley, Gary Caldwell and Scott Brown kept the team going and we had 5 shots on and 8 shots off target. Motherwell made Mark Brown, who looked pleased at being back in the team, see above, do some work and had a decent 4 shots on target in the 1st period. The sending off was harsh for Motherwell but I don't think it made any difference to the final result.

Free Falling 'Marnocks Come To CP.

Last time The 'Marnocks won at CP in 1054BC the future Scotland manager, Jim Jeffries, deployed a Stegosaurus in goal and a Diplodocus at centre half. The 'Marnocks are showing their true relegation form after a flirtation wie 3rd spot a few weeks back. 6 defeats in their last 8. 3 defeats in a row and no goals in the last 2. Their away record this season is W2 and L3 and they have lost all games when they have lost the 1st goal.

Celtic have a higher body count than Fred West's basement. Hesselink (Hesselinkitis), Crosas (Hammie ouch), Samaras (Oh-Ah-Ouch), Nakamura (Killie ouch), Maloney (Dead Leg ouch), McGeady (Loss of form ouch), Loovens (Bad hair ouch), Joe Doumbe (Who ouch?), Paddy McCourt (Just unfit ouch), Chris Killen (We are havin' a laugh ouch) and Artur Boruc (Dodgy goalie knee ouch) are all unavailable or struggling for this game.

So it's a case of who is still standing that will be noted in black ink on the managers golden notebook. Wie has havin' as much creativity available as the 'wattienaccio' solutions have to come from the youths. Oor manager praised the 2min contribution of Koki Mizuno on Saturday. "He did well when he came on and he really enjoyed it. He got the crowd going with his energy and movement so we are pleased with him". Also, Paul Caddis got a 40min runout when he did little to recapture his pre-season form. Barry Robson, as pointed out, looks like his boilersuit is weighing him down.

We should still have enough, even if we field Massimo Donati, Koki and Caddis to beat The 'Marnocks. In oor last 2 meetings we won 3-1. In those games oor scorers were Maloney, Samaras (2), Nakamura, McGeady and McDonald. Only McDonald is available from that little lot. A Celtic player has not scored against The 'Marnocks at CP since 2nd Jan 2007 when we won 2-0. Can you name the scorers that day? Nae prize just the knowledge yer an anorak.

We are unbeaten in oor last 8 games. We have scored 31 goals this season. 14 of those goals have come in the last 10 of the 1st half or the last 10 of the 2nd half. We have lost 13 goals this season and 10 of these goals have been in the 2nd period and we lost the only game we never scored first in.

Oor Hessellinkities means that teams have the best chance of beating us at this time. Oor lack of flair players is a worry. Skippy has scored 2 goals in the last 2 and we will have to look to him again to be the main goal threat. Ex-playerism is David Fernandez. He has scored 1 goal this season.

Can see another comfortable victory but that has mair to do wie future Scotland manager ineptness at producing a team capable of beating us rather than us being fantastic. Scott Brown to score anytime and 3-0 for LoTW.

Rumour O'Filter.

The News Of The World reported, after it had reported the latest Fizzy Pop League striker who has been caught 'roastin' a wannabee WAG wie a Tesco carrot, that Newcastle were prepared to offer upwards of £5m for unhappy Celtic midfielder Aiden McGeady. I'll let the LoTWites figure oot the mistruths in that story.

Some Mr 15% for some Croatian bloke say's Celtic have pulled oot a deal to sign the Amkar player. Tomislav Dujmovic is the player and his 15%er, Pedrag Racki, calls the SSM and John Park amkars wie this rage: "We had an agreement with Celtic, but for whatever reason they have decided to pull out the transfer. Dujmovic will now be staying in Russia" much to the disappointment of Mr 15%'s bank balance.

Hey Ho, that's it over. Hail Hails are open leave a comment on this pish if you can be bothered. Celtic homepage is here, LoTW profile page is here. I'm off to ponder why after getting the notion to bet a Middlesboro' and Spurs double yesterday why did LoTW decide to spend the £5 on sausages, eggs and bread for his breakfast instead? You can eat anytime but beating the bookies disnny happen every week.

Forza. 

Thanks to Number 7 from KDS for the picture, no, not the Hannibal Lecter one.