In light of bawbag Ronaldos claims that he is a slave, we at LOTW are calling for all employers to treat us, the employees, like slaves. We wish the right to get paid millions per year and decide we want to move as the shopping is shite where we live just now.

We want the right to be able to employ a lackie to wipe oor arse and be allowed to wipe oor arse wie a recently signed contract, which you want to change to a nice softer velvetie one as yer current one is chaffing yer arse cheeks. We no longer want to collect 'gingy' bootles to ensure we can buy oor lunch the day before payday.

Nae surprise that there is nae mair heroes for the younger generation wie bawbags like Ronaldo kicking aboot. Today's kids wont know the meaning of loyality. But....I have no sympathy for Demento Ferguson or the Man Utd fans. They will get well compensated and will buy another big egod bawbag to replace the departing big egod bawbag.

Contracts now mean he haw. If a player wants to leave a club he can. A club won't keep an unhappy player and if that player is in demand they will sell the first chance at the first decent $ signs that appear at their reception in a suit and wie a briefcase.

It's a game and Celtic are involved in this game. We have been linked wie another Eastern European CB looking for his 'dream move'. Notice that nae player ever gets a shite move, even when they move to Stoke, Burnley, Colchester, Hull or Hamilton. I mean, I'm sure hunners of kids are playing on public parks the now wishing to score the winning goal at the KC Stadium.

Anyway, Marko Basa, has been quoted as bleating "I'd welcome the opportunity to join Celtic because they are a club with a proud history. "They also have a manager in Gordon Strachan who has achieved great things as a player and also as the leader of Celtic. "At the moment the situation is out of my control but I will do what I can to make this transfer happen."

Dortmond have had a bid for the player turned doon and the asking price is a rich £7.5m. The chip wrappers of tomorrow quote a 'source'- i.e they made it up- as saying talks could take place this week. The same article also 'quotes' an interest in Dusko Tosic who is another Serbian.

Last week we were linked wie Romanians. Before that it was Croatians and before that it was Russians. Are the meejia just going through every Eastern European player that has fallen oot wie a club or knows who Celtic are so they can get a quote?

I think we can safely say that we are looking at buying a CB. Wie John Kennedy moving to the muddy fields of Motherwell on loan and puttin Jim O'Brien in his 'man bag' as company for the next 6 months.

Guid move for JFK. He can get his sharpness back, while making his mistakes causing Motherwells odious fans to taste defeat, like the taste of 3 day auld Buckfast that a dug has peshed in, and come back to us awe the better for it. Or he will prove that he canny cut it and a perminate move to Fir Park could be on the cairds.

Jim O'Brien. We gave him a contract, told him we loved him then sent him on loan to Dundee Utd. He seems as close to a first team berth as LOTW or Derek Riordon so I think this is the begining of the end for O'Brien at CP. Fuck knows if this is the right decision as we have never seen him often enough.

In the same article Darren O'Dea is quoted moaning aboot the lack of first team starts, he says 'I've asked a few times now if I can get away on loan but the boss says there is no chance of that.'It doesn't seem he is keen on me going anywhere, so it's just a case of working hard and hoping. 'I've no patience. I never want to sit on the bench. But you can't go away and sulk. You need to accept it and work harder. I'm improving every day in training.'

The fact that GS seems to be sleeping wie Mick and Caldwell and O'Deas unwillingness or inability to morph into a full back, holding midfielder or striker means that his chances are going to be limited.

He seems to be rated, last season he over took Elvis and Bobo as 1st choice back up CB, which widnae be to hard as a pit pony pulling a caravan full of overweight Americans could have overtook those two but players, but if he is rated by us he will also be rated by other folk. We need to watch what we ae doing wie him.

This is the last blog before the next one. So, since LOTW's false passport has arrived, the IPOD 'Shuggie' been loaded up wie banging toons - new Scooter, Darren Styles and Basshunter albums awe doonloaded this morning, boss man- and the pre-holiday training is complete- peshed awe weekend on San Miguel- then LOTW is ready for his holidays.

I will tune in and cop oot from the sun, i'll maybe even post if we sign someone, but I was hoping to do a match commentary on some of the pre-season games this week. That plan has been buggered but I should be available to do the Cardiff game next Thursday.

Leave comments, discuss, talk shite and call me a bawbag if you wish while I'm away. Let the season begin......

Forza

Ok, let's get it awe oot in the open. After filtering the pesh on the web I reckon you should put yer money on the this happening. Georgious Samaras and Shaun Maloney will sign before Friday. They may be joined wie Gabriel Tamas- who seems to be touted as a goer rather than Marko Basa- and is there any truth in the rumour that Aiden didnae sign an improved contract last week?

Vitorino Antunes will happen on loan. Nae Rat in the CP kitchen then.

Remember, I have stole this information from other sites but you can call me what you want if it disnny happen. 

Also, we will lose to Southampton and Fulham.

Laters.