Flash Gordon, Scotland Win, Pigs In Lipstick And Motherwell

Mick 'Flash' McManus Saves The Universe From Kirk The Merciless 

LoTW thought that the Big Bang experiment hadn't transported us into a black hole. At 8:31am on Wednesday everything was normal and the day meandered along like all other Wednesdays when boring internationals are being played.

How wrong was I. By 8:00pm last night we were seeing the first signs that we have entered a parallel universe as Scotland went 1-0 up, wie Kirk Bentfoot scoring and then news broke that England were turning in a decent performance in Zagreb, hence much cursing in the establishment I was frequenting.

The 'tinlid' was put on it when Barry Robson scored the 2nd for the SFA XI and despite the best efforts of Mick Manus, like a later day Flash Gordon trying to save the universe, by getting sent off and giving away a pen, in the hope that a Scotland collaspe would save us from a world where Kirk Bentfoot is a decent player and now dubbed 'The White Cafu#2' is subject to a trillion pound bid in the upcoming transfer window from Middle Eastlands Citeh. 

Welcome to Friday's LoTW, which has just got over the sight of Celtic players celebrating wie Kirk 'If he runs like a tree, then he is a tree' Broadfoot and Scotland winning a game under George Burley. Scotland were lucky that Iceland were wieoot there best player, Bjork Buywangetwanfree, who was working backshift in their Bishopbriggs branch.

Still, some of the Celtic players can look themselves in the mirror and say they done good in the game, which resembled a 3rd Round FA Cup tie from Deepdale, the kind you see on the BBC on a Sunday afternoon.

Mick Manus took a rush of blood to the head, to go wie the few rushes of blood to the head he has been taking recently and decided that punching the ball was better than trying to put the Icelandic player off. Before that he had been his usual unsure self and leaves some wishing that his suspension for Scotland also applied to Celtic.

Alongside him Gary Caldwell confirmed his status as the inform defender, behind Broadfoot, in Scotland wie another MOTM display. In the midfield Barry Robson and Scott Brown had decent enough games wie the loveable tuecther Robson probably just edging it performance wise. It was interesting to see both of them playing in a tight midfield 3 and both looking comfortable.

I wonder if Gordon Strachan spoke about playing 5 in the middle at his wee get together wie Arsene, Jose and Demento when they weren't speaking about quantum physics and the price of oil.

On the wing Shaun Maloney produced a so-so performance, much like the one he produced in The Humping From The Huns. Paul Hartley came on for the last 8 mins and followed the instructions given from Elvis's big book of tactics to a tee.

Other Hoops in action included Aiden McGeady who missed a sitter late on in the game in the ROI's 0-0 draw, Andreas Hinkel came on for the last 8 mins to shore up the German defence and Georgios Samaras ran around and tried not to look like Scotlands top goalscorer in Greeces 2-0 win over Latvia.

But......it's back to the real stuff and into a week that is already been billed as season defining. 

After the Humping From The Huns we travel to Fir Park for a 12:30pm kick off for a game that is MUST WIN. To paraphrase Barack Obama who said ......" "You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.".....well.....if you put lipstick on this game it would still come out an ugly beast called MUST WIN.

The teamsheet is the most sought after bit of paper after those photos that show one of the Jonas Bros in a hotel room wie a whore and mair white powder than Tony Montana could ever dream off. Celtic-Cyber-Timdom is expecting a reaction to The Humping From The Huns and the manager to make changes.

Like what happens quite regulary wie Celtic under oor Gordon I'm prepared to be disappointed but not surprised if I'm surprised and he plays a 1-1-8 formation wie Marc Crosas playing sweeper and Bobo Balde playing centre forward wie Gary Caldwell in goals.

Big questions have to be answered concerning Artur Borucs weight and state of mind, if Gordon is going to ignore Barry Robsons form for Scotland over the last 2 games and if Hartley and Brown will be considered the centre midfield pairing of choice.

Wie some Celtic fans wanting Lee Naylor to be fit and returned to the side you can tell it's worrying and sad times at Celtic Park.

Motherwell, have failed so-far to live up to their 3rd best team in Scotland tag this season and according to their manager fancy their chances of beating us home and away this season. Since Black Sunday we are undefeated at the midden that is Fir Park. 3 wins and 2 draws is oor record and we need to ensure that the unwashed, jobless and Huns wieoot the busfare of Motherwell don't get the chance to gloat over another demise and defeat.

The games are usually high scoring affairs (14 goals Celtic and 8 goals Motherwell) but 12:30pm kick offs are mostly humdrum affairs wie players and supporters struggling to awake from their slumber. So wie that in mind, and the fact that Celtic will have only had one day preperation for this game, I'm going for Celtic 1-0 wie Gary Caldwell scoring from a Barry Robson corner in the 62nd minute. It will be ugly and no matter if you dressed it up in a nice wee black dress and put some lipstick on it, it will still be 3 points.

So what you think? Do you think if we put some lipstick on this blog it would no longer be half-ersed and pish? And if your reading this you must either be on your lunch, spam rolls again?, or eating your supper awaiting naked photo's of Phil Collins to download.....well that's what the stats say.

So LoTWites....what you think?

Forza

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