In The Name Of The Gaul

I pictured FIFA suits whooping and cheering- like those evil Scotrail knobjockies who see a little a bit of rain as good reason for it taking you 3 hours to get home from Glasgow by terminating your train at a station that costs you £16 in a taxi to get home from after they say they were hopeful a bus would turn up to take you to your destination- when all WC Qualifiers were done and dusted the other night.

Job done. 17 of the top 20 teams in the world qualified and all the TV Eyes of the big nations. Would they rather have had an audience of 4.2m or between 60m and 70m? No brainer.

Hell, they even got a fall guy.

French Manager Terry Henry gave us La Mein De Dieu killing off any future hope that his brand sells when his career ends and a moment he gained infamy on Maradona scale.

On a laptop screen I saw the Hand Of Gaul, Swede Martin Hansson, who looked like a gay cowboy, decided that him and his assistants didn't. I'm sure it was listed in the footnotes of FIFA's guidence that he doesn't see any incident that will disadvantage revenue streams.

It's with warped logic that I will look at Eduardo Da Silva and Henry. I see both as different but both cases when fitted in the bigger picture show the corruption and end game of the football authorities.

While Eduardo was deceitful I see nothing wrong in a player making the most of a situation if a big galoot of a defender or goalie gives them the opportunity. Henry showed a slight of hand not seen since Michael Jordan or a high class escort with a defrocked MP.   

Pardon my French by it was fucking cheating of the highest order.

The end game. 

The Big Cup this year changed rules to allow smaller teams direct entry on one hand while on the other ensuring the big teams got an easier passage via qualification as they were seeded. Platini with this keeps all happy when he is pimping for votes at re-election time.

While Arsenal didn't need any help to beat us it was clearly obvious to a paranoid ridden mental case like myself that in the two games the men in the middle ensured (along with our players) the passage to the cash cow would be smooth.

The need to keep the big clubs happy was cast in stone with Eduardo-gate. The initial 2 match ban was over turned after a mysterious 30 odd page document landed on Platini's desk, from a fellow Frenchman I may add, which said that Eduardo hadn't dived and there had been contact.

I believe that the document really pointed out that all big clubs have a barrel full of cheating cunts and they would dilute the competition if they banned everyone. It played on UEFA's self interest and probably talked % drop in revenue streams and advertising if Drogba had to be banned for life.

After this document, has anyone else noticed that Arsenal seem to be getting the benefit of every contentious decision in their Big Cup games? Hand balls and offsides are being ignored and being a punter a bet that they will reach the Big Cup Final with UEFA's help is worth a few bob.

Anyway, FIFA, yes...they decided to seed the play offs when France (sponsored by Addidas who are a sponsor of the WC) and Portugal (the one man brand that is CR7) made a tit of qualifying despite being given a decent hand to start with.

Is it so wrong for the govern bodies to want the best at their parties? No, Ireland won't be missed and commentators can lock away their plucky, hard working, organised, full of fighting spirit little Ireland condensing adjectives for the next glorious failure.

South Africa has had a lucky escape in that white socked flip flopped Irish won't be trying to source Guinness. 

We weren't missed in the Big Cup and won't be missed from the Europa League either.

Let's just get it out in the open. FIFA and UEFA come out and say right we want these countries/teams in and the rest of you bums can fight it out for a few places at the top table.

It would save a hell of a lot of hassle.