Platini Of Time To Top The League: Celtic 7 (Seven) St Mirren 0

So, the devil did burn on the Crosas but it was Nakamura who started the fire. After him playing the bastard last week I hope he (the devil that is) is suffering this morning. Saturday was a decent end to a stressful week. 

Wie Europa competition starting again, after it's winter shutdown, it's easy to feel a bit bitter and uninterested at Big Cup games and look longingly at the UEFA Vase, thinking, that you should be there getting beat 1-0, at home, of some mob that have a fitba' budget a quarter of Celtics and not just having oor terrible domestic form to worry aboot.

It's easier to accept now, that we were the worst team in oor group and one of the worst teams in the Big Cup, this season, than it was that night in November when Aalborg BK put us to the sword. It's also easier to accept now since the Inverness of Denmark have decided that their Europa adventure would not end in Coruna and now have the richest club in the world in their sights. 

Aalborg beat Deportivo 6-1 over their 2 legged UEFA Vase last 32 tie. A modest team, wie a modest budget showing that decent results in Europe can be had on modest budgets (having a big budget in a small league and getting results seems to  be a problem at the mo for us) and that Michel Platini's plan to cap clubs spending and wage outlay, which is what he is trying to do, he could dress it up in wimins clothes and call it Ethel and it would still be this.

I pondered, during a lull of play yesterday, what Man Citeh have done to annoy him that much and if he would do the same if it was his beloved Juventus that were the richest club in the world, and that his plans might not be a bad thing if yer club is run and plans correctly.

His other plans regarding qualification for the Big Cup is bad news for us. It means that we could be looking at being a Europa League team for the foreseeable and Big Cup qualification could be become as rare as a Georgios Samaras goal. Anyway.....

Celtic's business model is switching to resemble teams from the smaller leagues in Europe, raise yer own or buy low and sell high, and that this switch may not be a bad thing as we are bigger than most of these clubs and oor fitba' budget would gie us more leeway than them if the spending and wages cap came into play. We could work at becoming a top middle order European team competing in markets we can rather than trying to catch the Man Yoos and such.

This working is dependant on good decision making at board level, which is something that oor board seem incapable of doing on a regular basis. There has been some good articles recently and they make many good points regarding the state of the Celtic nation. Some have bordered on sensationalist and knee-jerk, which is to be expected when a team that should be sleep-walking to a title and in the later stages of Europa competition is not doing either.

I will not change from the view that oor form will return (has it returned or was Saturday just a welcomed blip in the sea of shit?) as we have the players despite the efforts of the management to try and fuck it up. This view is the basis of the gamble the board took in January, not the fucking it up bit, right enough.  

Oor long term plan may work but in the short-term the board have gambled that a limited manager will get us over the finishing line year in year oot. It's like backing a Blackpool Donkey to win the Kentucky Derby in the hope that the other horses knobble themselves by skimping on the decent feed and buying cheap shit. 

Results like Aalborgs BK show that being on a budget and prudence does not equal medicore on the park. It's getting the right man to work in these conditions. One that can get value for money wie a fitba' budget that dwarfs the league you compete in and dwarfs most in the European middle order that you should be aiming to top.

The boards previous makes me doubt they will make this decision wieoot being forced into it. Also, whether they will make the right decision is another question.

But......that is for the future. Talking aboot Europe while we have a league to win feels like ignoring yer wife but thinking aboot yer mistress who, while, she gies you a break from the normal and allows you to do things that yer wife disnny, she only gies you fleeting pleasure and leaves you feeling unfulfilled and cheap.

The bleak present was such. We needed to get back to winning fitba'. Ugly winning fitba' if that is all that was on offer, which is what we have witnessed in the majority of the last 3 years. It was a simple task and I don't think any of us expected us to get back on track by scoring 7. It was mair than I wanted but now I have had it, I want mair.

Oor demise after last weeks draw at Fir Park got mair publicity than Jade Goody could have dreamed off, exempt oors had slightly mair dignity. This win will not signal oor return in the eyes of the press. 7 goals and oor strikers are still as shy as a banker being asked to gie back his pension so it will be this that they focus on and they will not mention a ruthless midfield performance. Expect to see cracked Hessellinks before we travel to The Marnocks on Wednesday.

Again, wie The Huns playing before us the car crash watchers were oot in force. Pubs and clubs were full of fans hoping for a defeat or points dropped before we slogged it oot wie The Helen Mirrens. I  decided that for my health and state of mind I would not bother my arse watching them as I have enough to worry aboot wie ma own team.

Fretting aboot when Boydchenko and Misser would stop scoring (confident Misser will stop very very soon- oh, he has) and wanting Boydchenko to choke on a Monster Munch after he has just finished a share size bottle of coke is not a guid thought to have swimming around yer brain for any lenght of time. The FACT that The Huns are so ugly and gie me nightmares is another reason I have stopped watching them.

Going to the game, Ben 10 was this weeks hot topic and the winner of the "O'Deaism Of The Week" award. His 14 goals for the reserves seem to point to a superstar striker for some. I pointed to Cillian Sheridan getting a game before him when Boaby Lennoxtoon resembled Holby City as evidence that if you think Ben 10 would get a game then you were sniffing glue.

I was right. Oor managers hedgehog had hit oor preferred targets in midfield and Skippy and Jan Hessellink were the pairing up front. The Helens had decided that damage limitation was their gameplan, so that next weeks heroic 1-0 victory in the cup is all the mair special, so oor midfield clicking was the key to winning the game.

I was disorientated during the game. I had moved seats (gave my cousin and his wee laddie ma ticket) and had to get used to view from the Celtic end. Bit like the team really, having to get used to being 2nd in the league. I was sitting close to section 445 and saw some fluorescent jacket Nazism of the highest order. As the Rude Bhoys banner said "Supporting Your Team Is Not A Crime" and that's something Celtic should remember when they instruct stewards to go in and quash standing and singing.

Nakamura soon had us all standing and singing.

Before the game the jumbotron played a montage of Nakamuras greatest Celtic moments. I think they were trying to punt some dinner wie Nakamura, which you pay £195 for the privilege to sit in the same room as the man from Japan. As the montage, to a soundtrack of "Big In Japan" and "Turning Japanese" (all we needed was "Japanese Boy" to complete the predictable puns) came to an end I started thinking that we have been lucky to have him and yesterday provided 3 mair moments for his leaving DVD.

1st up was a 20 yard chip, which the The Helens Goalie spilled into the back of the net. Next was a move he started and finished wie a low drive from just ootside the box and to top of his hat-trick (and the first hat-trick I can remember when all were scored from ootside the box) was a Nakamura special free kick.

As he lined the ball up I thought it was set up for a floated ba' into the box. The Helens had set themselves up for it and their goalie didnae think a wall or a player on the post was needed. Nakamura thought differently and dispatched an unstoppable shot into the top corner, which caught everyone by surprise. It was special, so special that the Holy Goalie decided to join in the celebrations.

All around me it was bedlam as well. This was oor 5th goal of the afternoon and there was still 32 minutes left. A plus 10 goal difference was in sight and The Helens were so poor that it was possible that we could make it up.

Marc Crosas, who is not better than Fabregas despite the song saying that, had scored the 1st of that 2nd period wie his 2nd goal of the season contender this week. Scott Brown added another just before the Naka special. In the opening 12mins of the 2nd period we had numerous corners, scored 3 goals and missed 2 decent chances. I wonder what was said at half time? And can it be repeated at the start of every game? 

This was all despite oor strikers, all four that got game time, showing the threat of a blind Sebo. Lets start wie Jan Vennegor. He missed a penalty, it was a terrible penalty and had 4 decent chances to score. His confidence is shot. It was noticeable that Aiden McGeady attempted to gie him an open goal when Aiden should have scored himself. He was that bad I was wishing the bookies to award him the OG as he was at least close to the ball.

Skippy, this man will score over 100 goals for us, given the chance, but he will need to start scoring heiders and chances that fall to him 8 yards oot and stop dithering when he receives the ba' in goalscoring areas. He got LUCKY that Jack Ross barged into the back of him. He was making a tit of it if he hudnae.

Georgios Samaras is either low on confidence or is just a charlatan and Ben 10's cameo backed up ma sniffing clue claim. That is being hard on him though. He had one chance that if it had been Jan Vennegoor that had delivered such a tame shot then the WAGS in the stands would have been calling for him to be hanged.

Suppose that is the benefits of suffering fae O'Deaism this week and the short-term memory loss yer average fan has regarding players who have been pivotal to us in recent seasons.

Talking aboot O'Deaism, Darren got a break when Lee Naylor got injured but it was his full back partner that impressed as Andy Hinkel gave Mo Camara a further Celtic nightmare to add to his collection.

So, a 6 goal swing, 7 goals and we can still moan aboot something. Decent Saturday afternoon and we could all go home safe in the knowledge that The Huns huvnae got Hamilton to play at home again so they get the chance to rack up another 7 goals.

It was a confidence boosting performance wie Crosas, Brown and Nakamura all excelling. Andy Hinkel also gave a MOTM performance but was unlucky that the man from Japan decided he wanted to make headlines fae Tokyo to Yokohama. Kilmarnock must get mair of the same and another ruthless performance must be delivered. We scored 7 but we still wasted chances. One game we may only get one or 2 chances and they MUST be taken. That could be this Wednesday.

Michel Platini wants to, maybe, gie us a hand in Europe and it's aboot time we started giving oorselves a hand domestically. Yesterday, we played like we had mair points to prove than Peter Grant. That was a perfect start to the 12 cup finals we have remaining.

Forza