Post Hamilton Mithers, Round The World In 10 Days, Hun-Bashing And JJB.

I had to laugh this morning. Radio Tuecther announced that Kenny Miller was rumoured to be withdrawing from the Scotland squad, hence improving their chances of victory against Norway. No reason was given and I wondered if it was because he was just shite. Then I heard Iceland had went Bankrupt. I wondered what Kerry Katona and half of Easterhoose would now do for fish fingers.

It's depressing this credit crunch. Hunners of weans will be wieoot Crispy Pancakes and will get a visit from Jamie Oliver, which is a fate worse than being forced to eat a soiled nappy wieoot broon sauce. 

Barry Robson Oor New Left Back? Nae Chance 

....say's the man himself. Hurrah, say thousands off Celtic fans who have just recovered from the sight of Stephen Pearson play there a few seasons back. Robbo-Cop said..

“No, there's no new career unfolding for me, Lee injured his back and the manager just asked me to play in there."

...while hoping that the improving Lee Naylor's backache is not long term. Anyone who thinks Robson can do a joab for us at left back must also think Boris Johnson is a decent politician and not just an oaf.

He also said this aboot Georgios Samaras.....

"Big Samaras also scored again and he can be anything he wants to be when he gets going."

...can he be a hun-eating cyborg who morphs into a tractor, then a lorry and then a fire engine? Or can he be the new Henrick Larrsson as some, fuelled by alcohol, have been whispering in dark corners?

Around The World Wie Naka And Skippy.

Shunsuke Nakamura will travel 12,600 miles before he returns to Glesga next Friday. He will play 180 mins for Japan against UAE and Uzbekistan. The man from Japan states that...

"I expect to be available for Inverness. There is no reason why I should miss it. There is no reason for anyone to be concerned that I won’t be back for it. It is an honour to play for your country and an honour to play with Celtic."

...and this man lacks commitment?

That's nothing. Scott McDonald will travel a total of 21,000 miles for a wild wallaby shoot against Qatar next Wednesday. Plenty of time for Scott to munch family packs of M&M's until his heart is content.

Fight, Fight, Fight, Fight.

When the first nail was put in The Huns coffin last March when Jan Vennegoor scored in the 194th minute for us to claim a famous 2-1 victory. At the final whistle of that game, Nacho Novo, was so disraught at his latest death threat, that he tried banjo Aiden McGeady cause he blamed that wee republican for his trouble. Handbags ensued, which ended up wie Gary Caldwell and David Weir both getting red cards due to them enjoying some throat grabbing sexual gratification in a public place.

On Saturday both will line up together for Scotland in their meek defeat to Norway. David Weir (Auldfaithertimerus) mentions that him and Caldwell huvnae spoke since that night....

"I haven't actually spoken with Gary since the spot of trouble at the end of that O*d Fi*m game. I'm told he joked that we'd now have the chance to finish off the fight (sic),I'm sure we will and do that by shaking hands. I think both of us would agree our actions that night weren't the finest moments of our careers."

....no Gary Caldwells finest moment came a few weeks later at Tannadice. But...while we don't condone hitting OAP's I'm sure none of Timdom will be bothered if Caldwell knocks auldfaithertimerus into next week, then tells him Nacho is next.

The Paddy McCourt Benefit Game.

Celtic travelled to the Brandywell to play Derry City last night. It was agreed to play this as part of the deal to bring Paddy McCourt to Celtic. It was also a chance for Paddy McCourt to get a game in a Celtic jersey. The Celtic team was M Brown, Caddis, Conroy, O’Dea, Loovens, Donati, Crosas, Mizuno, McCourt, McGowan and Hutchinson.

Celtic won 1-0 wie another Ben Hutchinson goal and rumours are Massimo Donati ended up playing centre half. 

The Gospel According To Kevin Thomson.

This week oor Mr Thomson, the lesser of the Hibee two and the one wieoot a league winners medal, speaks aboot the tackle that put him oot of Scotland's defeat against Norway....

"He's turned his back and gone in with a straight leg and with his studs showing. It looks as if he knew fine well what he was doing and that's what disappoints me most of all. The injury meant I couldn't play on in a match which we were desperate to win and now it's forced me out of the reckoning for another international cap. He didn't apologise to me after the game so maybe he thinks it was a fair tackle. But having looked at it a few times I think it was poor from a fellow professional."

....this is the same Mr Thomson who last season tried to cheat his way to a penalty and attempted to get a fellow professional sent off in the process. He then came out and lambasted a fellow professional who called him a cheat in the aftermath. Sewer Rats have mair morals than Mr Thomson. In fact Mr Thomson deserves to be tied to a chair, naked on a beach, wie half a fish supper on his heid and we can all watch as seagulls peck his eyes oot.

Cheap Shellsuits For Sale.

The credit crunch has hit the sales of cheap sportswear badly. The BBC reports that the JJB share price has fallen 25% and that insurers will no longer ensure creditors get paid. It also reports...

"It comes a week after JJB reported a £9.7m six-month loss, with its auditors casting "significant doubt" on its ability to continue as a going concern."

...good job no-one sold their merchindise rights to this company or they would be in deep shit. Rumours that David Murray has called George W Bush to promise John McCain the 'Proddie' ex-pat vote if R*ngers are included in the proposed $700 billion bail oot are unconfirmed.

Right, Hail Hails open and I'm off to study the anytime goalscorers for the weekend internationals, eat fish fingers and crispy pancakes.

Forza