Well, that's the annual LOTW sunshine break over for another year and what has LOTW learned this year? That drinking Buckfast and Sangria causes you tae lose two days and that going 'commando' gies yer gonads as much freedom as Andy Hinkel gies right handsided midfielders in pre-season games.

Talking of pre-season games, Gary Caldwell - rent a quote as some call him- proclaimed yesterday "....Celtic don't dae friendlies, there is pressure here awe the time" pity someone didnae tell the players and the planners of Celtic's pre-season games.

A win against Southampton, an expected defeat against Fulham (2 games in less than 24 hours after a few weeks of solid running was bawbaggery of the highest order) and then a draw against 'Boro (there goal) (oor goal) - notice Aliadiere's GIRUY celebration, this from a guy who was deemed no better than Craig Beattie!!!- means that normal pre-season humdrum under GS has been resumed.

I said in an earlier blog that these games are just training sessions and mean nothing to the players, so it was wie great humour I read 'View From 412' which saved me the trouble of looking of wasting mair Euro drinking tokens reading Celticcybertimdom. Predictable reactions from the Cyber hardmen so I huvnae even bothered this morning wie 'Newsnow' or ma usual trawl through the web to gauge reaction of last nights game, which I didnae see but I will watch today at some point.

I don't expect to see much in the 90 mins. In fact, I will probably not watch the whole game.

But....I want to see us ramp it up over the next few weeks. We play Cardiff on Thursday night, game that I will be gieing live updates of on the blog comment sections, so if ye dinny have Setanta Tv come in tune in drop oot. I'm sure the game will be that pesh you might get a commo on Holby City, Big Brother or a solution tae war in the Middle East.

Anyway, back to Gary Caldwell. Yesterday, I was walking doon to the beach for ma early morning can o' 'Pear Cider' (to clear ma heid), when I noticed a guy reading the Daily Ragger and on the backpage was the headline "Make me a Celt for life'.

I couldnae see the picture that went wie the headline but right away I was thinking it was Arfur Boruc.....so ye can imagin' ma disappointment when I bought the paper instead of the can of cider...LOTW in no way takes responsibility for the international incident caused by ma language when finding this oot.

But, The Caldwell getting a new contract widnae bother me like it might (and will) bother some. He stood up to the plate towards the end of last season and showed that the abuse he got didnae bother him as he is arrogant or a confident sod.

Wie the Gabriel Tamas situation now reaching an impass on the 125th day of talks, when him asking for 2 rupes and a Tesco club card caused the SSM to storm oot the room, means that at the moment Caldwell is a stick-on starter. Even when we sign/ if we sign Tamas, Caldwell should still be a stick on starter says LOTW. 

So...as predicted by LOTW, Georgios Samaras signed. Sammy reprogrammed his 'TomTom' which was set on a course to Hull and couldnae hide his delight when he shouted "“This was always my first choice. I wanted to stay at Celtic and my door was closed to other clubs who showed an interest"

Yes, and Sammy suddenly became oor 1st choice when the SSM played Man City- whose bid for Ronaldinho has to be laughed at- like Nigel Kennedy playing a fiddle and got the Cain Dingle lookalike (much to the delight of Mrs LOTW) for just over £1m plus extras if he plays often...which he might do as he has looked ok in pre-season.

LOTW ponders can he become a starter rather than an impact player? I still sudder at how bad he wis against St Mirren and Aberdeen last season while also wonder at the ball he pit across for JVOH for his goal in the Scottish Cup tie at Aberdeen.

There is a stat that says he scored mair goals per minutes on the park than Skippy and JVOH. I canny be arsed finding it.

Over in Benchville, New Zealand, some bloke called Chris Killen claims he plays for Celtic and that he is going to the Olympics. He claims "But I still see a future for myself at Celtic. If I'd gone to the World Cup and had a good tournament people would have recognised that and it would have boosted me at club level. That's what I'm hoping comes out of my trip to China."

LOTW, I'm sure, talks for the majority when he spits 'bothered?' 

While LOTW was on it's holibags Celtic released a groundbreaking green and white hooped kit. Paul Hartley said "I wisnny expecting this....."

But, why do we want to look like Sporting Lisbon?

Forza