Humped By The Huns And The Importance Of Being Unidle

 Celtic's Title Hopes Head Clydewards

It's a sad day when the biggest cheer from the home support is when Daniel 'Thuglife' Coosans was sent off for his 150th offence. The light at the end of the tunnel was in fact a train coming the other way as Jan Vennegoor- here as known as fannybaws- got sent off for a stupid kick out at Kirk Broadfoot who is the worse full back in Scotland.

Yes, after Celtic's 4-2 defeat from average R*ngers on Sunday it felt like you had been booted in the baws and the sleepless night that followed was spent worrying about how unsurprised I was at the inept performance, another to add to the list of inept performances under our manager, and also that maybe we just watched our title hopes slow marched over the river to the tune of the last post.

The day started off great. Beachballs, flying lilos and passports but it ended with the revenge of Kenny Miller who usually, and won't for a few months, threaten any bovine animals with a banjo. I hated the fact that we thought he was worth booing. He has proved to be unworthy of air as he would sell his granny for £20,000 a week and he is not bothered who he looks uncomfortable playing for. He will score in Scotlands forthcoming defeats then not score again until March.

LoTW was sitting wondering why we were 4-1 down when a fellow LoTWite said

"Disappointing eh?"

"That's a fucking understatement" I guffawed.

So, what caused that "understatement"..

The Holy Goalie once again sold another game against them. He was at fault for 3 of the goals and dispite his podgy frame was the shadow of his former self on Sunday. He quite rightly 'got it tight' from Scotlands Shame' but if he dishes it out he has to take it. He is now big enough to take it.

The 'Ballad of Lee Naylor' was so tuneful after Sundays game. The non-performance of Andy Hinkel and the foolishness of playing a right footed player at LB, which along with Boruc cost us the game, makes us thankful that Joe Doumbe will soon be leaving the Big Brother House. With no SPL or Championship LB deciding to grace us with their not so graceful game, we have to make do with the pig ears we have.

'Heid and Hoof' had not too bad games despite getting a beasting from a thug in blue. Still losing 4 goals at home means that they have to be held cupable to some degree. Hanging maybe?

The midfield turned up and didn't do much. Paul Hartley, was on the park and went about his job but was faced with better performers on the day while Scott Brown continued his threatening behaviour, which may turn into a performance one day. Barry Robson came on and done nothing much. But he must be wondering how Scott Brown continues to get a game before him and Marc Crosas must go to sleep having nightmares that he has ended up at Celtic.

Another 'Glesga Derby' bypassed Nakamura like the M74 and Aiden McGeady will have to get his arse out of Kirk Broadfoot's pocket, he is still the worst full back in Scotland despite him having his best game for eons, before we play next. 

Up front, Shaun Maloney flitted in and out the game while Georgios Samaras now cemented his place as the 1st choice striker with his 3rd goal in 2 games and his hold up play was better than it has been. Ben Hutchison came on looking unfit and ballooned a late chance into the Jock Stein Stand.

We had too many passengers on the day. Too many players just turned up and went through the motions and our manager one again proved that when the chips are down he can't or doesn't have the guts to change it. As I said earlier, I fully expect other inept performances this season when our 'right good players' go missing. Our manager has to find the solution to this problem. Hell, he has only had 3 years to find it.

Sunday is just a blip in the bigger picture.

LoTW wasn't expecting us to sign the earth. In fact, I laughed out loud when I read the 'Moonbeams' of Pavlyuchenko and Darren Bent. The long ball game that we partook in with Tamas and Basa didn't annoy me as I understood that we had to get value for money and that the Mr 15% were chancers but I trusted the SSM.

How wrong was LoTW. The SSM should have a new moniker. The USSM. The Un-Sharp Suited Man as this transfer window he has either not done his job correctly- signing quality players at a reasonable rate and getting rid of deadwood- or he has been let down badly by the moneymen- whose aim is just to stay just ahead of The Huns and make up numbers in the Champions League- and has been trying to do deals with one hand tied behind his back and using marked cards when he sat round the table.

Whatever we deserve answers but we won't get answers as we are only the customers.

Last week, when paired against Man Utd, Villarreal and AaB, the USSM said

"Time is now against us but you never know what can happen in the last two or three days of the window. Our mission is to strengthen so let's wait and see what we can do."

I reckoned that running around in the last few days of the window for any sort of player is something I hoped we wouldn't be doing, if we were even looking, which I don't think we were. The article states that we spent nearly £7m quid this summer....I think it's closer to just over £5m and  as for strengthen......

Our signings this summer are Paddy McCourt for £250,000, now i don't reckon we will see Paddy until he rolls out for Hibs in 18 months time. Next up was Georgios Samaras, a player we knew about 3 seasons ago (before we signed Jan Vennegoor) and who we had on loan last season. £1.2m secured his services when we realised that 1) He was cheap 2) He was cheap and no-one else was as cheap.

Then came Marc Crossas, a player that we signed via a DVD, another scoop for our scouting system, from Barca for £450,000. Up next was Glenn Loovens for £2.5 who was scouted extensively for 2 games in the Algrave, after The Huns pointed us in his direction and  Tamas/Basa said they wanted to much money, cocaine or a bookies account.

Finally came Shaun Maloney, a player we sold then chased for 18 months to bring him back. We brought him back for around a £1m. I make that £5.35m approx. And for that money we only have one player that improves the first team right away.

Not one of them a left back...not even a 'Ballad of Lee Naylor' type left back.

The manager was more telling regarding the summer inactivity he said..

"Things have not materialised the way we would have liked."

..with that he either means the players he targeted didn't want to come or he didn't have the money to buy these players unless he sold players to fund moves. The saga of Bobo Balde proves, to me, he needed Balde of the wage bill to get players in.

Then this story appears regarding Jan Vennegor. We were willing to sell one of our big game players and not give us time to buy a replacement. Was Vennegor the big wage casualty since Bobo wasn't going anywhere? Some assest management that. Sell a first teamer because a reserve wouldn't move.

This summer has been the most disappointing since Seville. We have not added to the quality of the first team, we have not got rid of the squad players and deadwood and dispite being in a position of power we have failed to bury The Huns of the park.

Day's like Sunday, watching the blight on society celebrate, could become more common if the management don't get it right from now on in.

Ah, but feck it.....lets hang on the phone for 40mins for our Champions League package like the lemmings we are. By tomorrow I'm sure I will think Mark Wilson will do at LB....

Forza