S.O.S For Eduardo Vargas Jesus Rojas

Celtic gaffer, Tony Mowbray, will sort out Celtic's striking problems by potentially signing a Chilean wonder-kid who impressed during The Toulon Tournament.

The players agent has not been tracked down by The Sun yet, so there is no quotes, but the story is based on a Celtic scout being seen watching some games in France.

Eduardo Vargas Jesus Rojas  ,or Edu to his friends(!!!), a 19 year old striker, was player of the tournament at last years Milk Cup and helped Chile win The Toulon Tournament this year. His agent is probably Pablo D Loafersnsocks and will soon be available for comment if we pay him enough.

Further quotes from ex team-mates and You Tube videos to follow.

Sniff Sniff

Summer Of Shit. Polishing Numerous Turds To Find Gold.