SOS:The Unrumour Rumour Mill Featuring: Donovan, Naylor and Keane

............Breaking News: Peter Lawwell states that he will spend the Seville money............Breaki

 Last Tango In Paris

Like last pre-season our CEO seems to have been making use of Ryan Airs cheap flights to Paris to meet agents and other imaginary reps of players that Celtic will never sign.

Apart from the 'last gasp' meeting with Marc-Antoine Fortune rumour has it that he our CEO, dressed in an suit with polished brogues was last seen waiting for Semir Stilics agent  with the tempting offer of a trial and a trip to Australia.

It's United, You Know

Apart from sitting in Charles De Gaul our CEO takes trips up the M9 every transfer window to part with cash for Dundee Utd's 'best' (sic) players. This time it's predictably Sandaza with £1m plus add ons, stuffed in a suitcase to tempt the United suits. Is the add-on a Mark Wilson?  

It's Chile

South American wonder-kid states Eduardo Vargas states that it's his dream to get kicked up and down the park in Britain. He said: "I want Ross Tokely to beast me from behind." he commented to all within earshot while admitting that some clubs are interested in him.

USA! USA! USA!

With success of Maurice Edu and Team USA fluking to the final of the Confed Cup could Mogga be looking at bring in (delete as you appreciate) Landon Donovan, Jay Demerit, Jozy Altiore or Charlie Davies to do more than visit Edinburgh Castle and moan about our customer service this summer? No, don't think so.

Bhoys Are Back In Town

With the team returning for pre-season some faces will be sticking around for much longer than the board and the fans expected. Spurs in the knows are now saying the deals to take McGeady and Brown to White Hart Pain are now off the table with Mowbray, Downing and Injury being the major factors.

Mowbray after watching numerous DVD's has been impressed with Lee Naylor especially in the Tommy Burns tribute game.

In the battle of the bulge if Skippy weighs in at over a certain weight his punishment will be getting sent to Hull or having to partner Georgios Samaras again.

The Text Twitter

......snubs Celtic.....Robbie Keane spotted in Glasgow.......Hartley to Ipswich...Samuel Eto will do a 180 and sign for Celtic....Who is Marko Janko?...Ma mate says Artur is going to Arsenal.....Anthony Stokes has he has knocked back Hibs to hold on for his dream move...Amaury Bischoff has been recommended by Lian Brady.....Steven Fletcher...

Summer Of Shit. Polishing Numerous Turds To Find Gold.