The 'Marnocks Are Disposed, Accies Await And Kate Bush.

Wow.

What a week. A week that has rocked the foundations of Celtic Fitba' Club. Yes, this week the Celtic PLC sunk to a new low. Aboot 30mins into the 1st half on Wednesday night the Timbotron had an advert for the Egg-Chasing in Embra this weekend. It's shameful that they think the normal 'Tic fan would be interested in Egg-Chasing* but wanting us to spend oor hard earned giros in salt and sauce land is a step too far.

What do you mean Celtic have been banning fans for taking part in a peaceful, some would say misguided, protest? Oh, disclaimer it's seems they haven't, so make up yer own mind.

Integrity and Dignity

It's all as murky as Walter Nosurname claiming that M.I.B Flagwaver Timmy Murphy has it in for The Huns. Nosurname said: "the stand-side linesman Mr Murphy... had one of those last season and gave an offside Scott McDonald goal." showing no sign of bitterness whatsoever. LoTW awaits the SFA/SPL summons, delivered by winged monkey, arriving at Ipox wie bated breath. Strange Nosurname never mentioned the offside call they got at New Douglas Park wie the same gusto.

Hunnarism Is Catching.  

After, Bernie's pitch to become the spokesman for the RST another contender put his beannie hat in the ring. The Saint Of Good Causes, Bono, was presenting an award to the man who wrote "The Frog Chorus" and "Mull Of Kintyre", which is better than the shite MTV show 24 hours a day now.

Anyway, he decided to pro-claim that Liverpool was the "capital of Eastern Ireland" and that popular beat combo "The Beatles" would have been Irish if it "wasn't for the potato famine". LoTW wonders if this is the first example of reserve famine songism?

One Man Went To Mo, Went To Mo A Sheridan.

Celtic beat, First Division Team In Waiting, The Marnocks, 3-0, a scoreline predicted by LoTW, wie goals from Cillian Sheridan, here,here and the usual goal from 'Marnockskelper Shunsuke Nakamura. WGS was impressed by a fringe player who looked like he was being packed to Sampdoria in the summer.

"I thought that was the right kind of game for him", gushed WGS, confirming what LoTW thought that Massimo Donati could only play in games so one-sided the pitch was in danger of tipping over, "...his performances in training have been absolutely fantastic": pointed oot WGS as if he needed to confirm Mo-Do's inclusion shoulnae have been a surprise.

3 points, 9 wins in a row and now 4 points clear after losing the league, according to the meeja, at the end of August. "We've won 9 SPL games in a row and in that time we have had to play Big Cup games and Diddy Cup games and have had to deal with that", smirked WGS before adding :"So the players can be pleased wie themselves".

It was a game that we were so far in front even at 1-0 it was comfortable. Future Scotland Manager, Jim Jeffries, again, proved his ineptness when playing a decent team. This lead to Celtic being slack in the final third of the field.

Cillian Sheridan continued his road to graduating wie honours from the Craig Beattie School of Strikers Bobby Lennox Castle Branch. 2 goals, taking his tally to 3 in his flirtation wie the first 11, and a performance that really did nothing to say he has what it takes.

WGS said aboot Cillian:"I couldn't have asked for anything more, it was a terrific performance. When he came here to Celtic, he was raw but there was something about him. We've realised that he is an intelligent lad that takes things in". He is still raw and one thing the masses seem to think that he does not seem to have natural fitba' intelligence. To learn this he needs games. To get games he will need to go oot on loan when Hessellinkitis clears up.

Wednesday, produced 60.3% possession stat wie 9 shots on and 6 shots off target. First Division team in waiting, The 'Marnocks, did not register a shot on goal. Celtic's last 2 goals came in the 75 and 84th mins. This means we have now score 11 goals in the final 15 minutes of games this season.

Rumour O'Fliter

Sylvinho, the 34yo ex-Arsenal and now Barca reserve, has opened his heart on a dream move, which will see him fufill a dream to play in Paisley and Inverness. He said: "It was mentioned to me in August that Celtic were interested in me, but back then I was not comtemplating leaving Barca". Sounds like he now is.

Austrian Marc Janko has been linked to take Cillian Sheridan place on the Celtic bench. The Red Bull Salzburg striker is attracting attention from big hitters such as Udinese, Sampdoria, Genoa and Espanyol. He has scored 20 goals in 16 games this season and at 6ft 5in seems he is maybe viewed as Jan Vennegor's younger fitter brother.

Dundee Hibs Polish number 1, whose parents where such massive Kate Bush fans they changed their name by deed poll in her honour, Lukasz Zaluska, will maybe sign a pre-contract in January to sit on the bench until Artur leaves.

Will It Be All Academic?

Relegated Hamilton Accies welcome Celtic to Hamilton for the first time since season 1988/89. That game ended wie The Hoops winning 8-0 and for some fun let's see how many of the 33 readers can name the goalscorers?

That version of Douglas Park is now a supermarket so New Douglas Park is where the Bhoys will try and make it 10 in a row and hopefully it won't end up cherrio to 10 in a row. It would be a major shock if Relegated Hamilton stopped their drop to the 1st division and end thier 8 game run wieoot a win by beating 9 in a row Celtic.

As before future playerism comes in the form of Judas James McCarthy who will be glad of a game that he disnny get racist abuse. He is Accies 2nd top goalscorer wie an earth shattering 2 goals. Top goalscorer is Graham wie 3.

Celtc, who welcomed back Georgios Samaras, Glenn Loovens and Shunsake Nakamura back for the game against The 'Marnocks are still short of a full deck. We are still wieoot Hesselink (Hesselinkitis), Crosas (Hammie ouch),  McGeady (Loss of form ouch), Joe Doumbe (Who ouch?), Paddy McCourt (Just unfit ouch), Chris Killen (We are havin' a laugh ouch) and Artur Boruc (Dodgy goalie knee ouch).

We should have enough to overcome Relegated Hamilton who have lost 6 goals between 15 and 25mins and 7 goals between 35 and 45mins. Celtic have scored 5 and 7 goals in those periods. Will Scotlands 2nd top goalscorer, Georgios Samaras get the chance to regain top spot in that chart by starting the game and scoring in those weak Relegated Hamilton periods? Will Scott McDonald decide that he fancies scoring this week instead of improving on his impressive 7 assists this season?

Golden notebook changes could come in the midfield also. Nakamura maybe rested, Mo-Do may make way for Hartley or Robson and could KoKo The Mizuno come into the reckoning? Score? 4-0 wie McDonald scoring 2 of them.

Finto. I'm off to laugh at the geeks who play "World Of War Craft" and in no way feel embarressed that I get excited over Celtic stats the sameway they get excited by playing in a fantasy world killing fantasy zombies. It's just as bad as Football Manager, I tell you. And being a stat geek is mair cool than being a fantasy geek. We have better clothes and taste in music.

Hail Hails are open leave a comment on this pish if you can be bothered. Celtic homepage is here, LoTW profile page is here. Oh, Darren O'Dea and Aiden McGeady. Do none of the 33 LoTWites read the blog? Heh.

Forza.

*LoTW knows that 33.3% of the 33 LoTWites like Egg-Chasing.*