The Unholy Goalie

So it's official. The "Sleazebag Stopper" - copyright The News Of The World- Alan Mythgregor has signed a 5 year deal to stay wie the club he loves. He turned his back on a £12m transfer and was over the moon at following in the footsteps of other cunts that have enjoyed being sex pest gambling addicts as well as being R*ngers number 1.

Think we will all agree that Mythgregor has got the attributes to ensure he meets the joab description. Alan said

I was disappointed to miss out on the UEFA Cup final but I don't blame Walter and these things happen. I'm sure there will be mair big games to come like last seasons CIS Cup Final, which has been the highlight of ma career so far apart from that time at Dunfermline when we beat Fawkirk"

 I thought I played well last season before ma injury and I don't blame Walter for not taking me off against The Taigs. Yes, I only had one leg but that should have been enough for a true Raunjers man to see it through. I see that now"

Here at LOTW, we are glad that £19m rated Mythgregor (I'm using the Daily Ragger Huncalculator) is staying. Apart from watching him making those Hollywood saves from easy strikes from 30 yards, laughing at his body artwork and also his latest bedroom conquest we look forward too seeing him palming oot the ball to the strikers in Champions League games and flapping like Amy Winehoose in rehab after 2 days wieoot smack at Nakamura rockets very, very soon.

Forza