Tony Mowbray: The Football Guru And New Messiah

 A Young Guru. Many Moons Ago.

Inspired. The new Celtic messiah was unveiled to global acclaim in a scene that- I reckon- would be befitting of The Second Coming. We have had Blair-mania and Obama-mania, now we have Mogga-mania and it out-shone them all.

The Football Guru was in town and the fight back had begun.

Sexy Midgets

Paraded in front of a hand picked audience, to ensure as much hyperbole and utopian nonsense as possible will get printed, the man who got WBA relegated and spent £1m on Craig Beattie, was in the mood to already add to the myth.

"When I watch Spain, Barcelona and other great technical teams and players, I try to recreate were possible." he said sounding like a Teeside John Barnes. 

Mowbray, who invented The Huddle, also showed sound knowledge and approval of Celtic's Youth System policy of signing midgets: "There are elements within the game that say if your not 6ft 4in, as strong as an ox and can run like the wind, then you can't be a footballer but then you see Iniesta, Xavi and Messi." he pointed out giving hope to the army of 5ft 0in, 2 stone in a wet paper bag youngsters that wander around Lennoxtown.

Just when the Celtic fans thought that the promise of Barcelona football and the reclaiming of the moral high ground was enough to see them through the summer, Mogga then played the Martin O'Neill card.

"I've got to try to do is put together a team that can punch above it's weight.."

The Celtic fans are in paradise indeed.

Impressive CV

John Reid spoke also and did his bit to add to the growing myth.

"We had to appointed a Celtic man after him. Tony understands this club more than that wee nark ever did. But....it was his management CV and not his Celtic credentials that made him the number 3 choice for this job."

CEO, Peter Lawwell, looking tanned and fit, surprising for a man who was working 24 hours a day for the last 3 weeks added: "No, we are not trying to become Hibs." stroking a picture of Rod Petrie.

The Messiah

The fans have bestowed the moniker Saint Tony Of Mowbray on the man they believe is the heir to Tommy Burns throne. As Mowbray walked out into the car park, to meet the thousands of jobless who had nothing better to do, he stopped the downpour that had darkened the Glasgow sky, stopped babies crying, cured the sick and got at least 2 of the crowd jobs.

The question every Celtic fan will be asking is: Will he be going to work at 7:30 every morning?