Two Tribes Go To War, Tims In Rehab, Rumour O'Filter, Last Time At Love Street.

It's been a bad week for Sir Mintalot. In this, his 20th year of presiding over Bankruptcy, Bigotry, Boomsungism and Bampottery, firstly, he has seen The Huns season ticket list posted on the Timternet, secondly, he has called the peepul of Airdrie and Shotts racist bigots and thirdly threatened the Heidie of Celtic.

In reply to Sir Mintalots statement, the Heidie of Celtic tore him a new one wie sarcastic reply.

Fight, Fight, Fight......and throw in some mud.

Like being in a Deloran Time Machine, LoTW feels that recent events, the rise in racist abuse and chanting, the rise in sectarian attacks and the meeja burying their heids in the sand going "La, La, La, La hear no evil see no evil", means we have been transported back to the mid 80's when perms, bubble coats, Nike Airs and Huey Lewis were cool.

Tims In Rehab.

Artur Boruc, decided to choose the Amy Winehouse route to recovery fae Hessellinkitis. He was caught by the Polish version of The Sun, downing pints of lager, smoking Cuban cigars and got up close and personal with a pretty blonde in a city bar.Worse was to follow when he went to watch a horror flim called "Midnight Meat Train", which was aboot some Huns on a trip into Europe.

 "It was his weekend off. He can do what he wants." said WGS echoing the thoughts of all Timdom who are not of a certain vintage and the above describes their normal weekend. The certain vintage Tims just say lucky barsteward.

Aiden McGeady, decided to follow Arturs lead and take the "Winehoose Route" to aid his recovery fae Hessellinkitis. Just this time it ended up wie him getting a smack. A so-called pal said: "There was about three of them and they started dishing out some abuse, it was pretty heavy stuff. One of them punched him on the face a couple of times.”

Some of Timdom, ones of a certain vintage, remember when getting abuse and a smack was part and parcel of a normal weekend.

Rumour O'Filter

After not learning from Paddy McCourt, John Park has been seen sniffing around Tallaght and courting the services of St Pats midfielder Keith Faye. He is available for a few light bulbs and Chris Killen. Big Eck at The Brum is already preparing his buns for the fight.

Semir Stilic, a Bosnian midfielder currently plying his trade in Poland has been linked wie a £2.5m move to us. "I know Celtic have had him watched a couple of times and are showing interest but it is up to Lech Poznan (was he not a Union leader?) whether they want to sell him or not. I do know they turned down a bid of 2.5m earlier this season for him." said his Mr15% while hoping for a nice wee new year earner.

A Store Were The Creatures Meet.

Oor last ever visit to The Midden that is Love Street tomorrow. A stadium that holds memories of that day in May 86 when Albert Kidd became a Celtic legend. A day that we were shoaked wie radioactive rain, played in the best away kit ever and played some of the most famous football in oor fitba' clubs history.

It was also the day LoTW was involved in his first and last pitch invasion.

The midweek UEFA Vase qualifier wie Aalborg BK looms, like a big boil on yer arse, but getting 3 points against the Helen Mirrens is all that is on the managers mind. "I'm not having that nonsense (The Big Cup being mair important). The SPL is our main target. They always make it tough for us. We once scored five there but the rest of the games have been close."

Aye, after oor poor performance last week and coupled wie the factors of The Helen's being a better team than Relegated Hamilton and this being the last time we visit Love Street, flags this up as red for danger.

Injuries will play havoc, again, wie the golden notebook. Paul Hartley bemoaned George Burley and The Falklands when he said: "I came off after 60 minutes (in the Ecosse game wie The Malvinas) with a knock and I'll need to see the medical staff at Celtic before I know if I'll be fit for the weekend." Meaningless friendlies also took there toll wie Barry Robson also being sent home injured wie tight-hammie-ouch. Also, Massimo Donati, who has started the last 2 games, is oot for a few weeks wie kicking-a-training-cone-ouch.

Oor midfield options are as thin as Kate Moss. Up front, Sammy should be looking to return to full fitness wie hopefully a decent run oot and the manager will need to decide between Craig Beattie-alike Cillian Sheridan and the off-form Shaun Maloney wie Skippy still being riddled wie the Kangaroo pox, which is killing baby 'Roos due to expanding arseness. Aiden McGeady may come into contention if his nose has been put back in place.

We are going for 11 wins in a row. Mick McManus reckons this is the best squad we have had for years, he boasted: "If we had three or four players injured in previous years then they would be badly missed. But it just shows you how strong the squad is that it doesn't matter who you are, you are not going to be missed because there is a good player coming in. That is a valuable thing to have in a squad."

This run proves that. The hope is, the Helen Mirrens, carry on their dismal run of 3 defeats coming into this game. Uncle Fester MacPherson says and quite rightly: "We have to start the game positively, but both in an attacking sense and defensively." They gave The Huns a real fright last weekend and have already beaten them at Love Street this season.

They have only scored 1 goal in their last 5 games and have not won a match since they beat Relegated Hamlton on the 18th October. A win for them would be a major shock but it's possible. Too many factors, though, make this not an away banker.

The Helen's don't lose many goals in the first period. They have lost 6 goals in the first 45, wie half of them coming between 40-45mins. 10 goals have been shipped in the second period 14 of them from 60mins onwards. Celtic, have scored 16 goals this season from 60mins onwards and also have scored 4 in the last 5mins of the first half. 

In oor last 3 games a midfielder has scored. We may be waiting until the 2nd period for the breakthrough tomorrow, added to the fact that 12:30ko are usually dull and don't come to life until after HT, then a late 2-0 victory wie Scott Brown scoring seems a decent punt.

Comments will be posted during the game tomorrow so I hope to see the Hail Hails bulging like a strippers jockstrap loaded wie white cotten socks.

Oh, Paul McStay and Roy Aitken.

And, on that famous day in 1986 what was the Celtic starting 11? 

Forza