Uneasily, Easy At Hearts And Now For The Biggest Club In London

Yawn. Poor 2nd half, 'The Boys Of The Old Brigade' and Celtic fans wearing poppies were the main topics of conversation in Celticcybertimdom today. So I'm glad that The Guardian decided to publish a bit of comedy gold to stop me shaking my heid at my own today.

The sub headline say's it all for me. "With the return of Bawwy(8), Rangers have midfield strength Celtic can only dream about". It goes on to cream it's pants over the return of the most overrated player since Ian Durrant, and also one that husnae got a surname, pours petrol on the myth that is Scotland's Player Of The Year, Pedro Mendes and mentions Maurice Edu a player last seen playing hide and seek in an Austrian basement wie Andreas Velicka.

I'm sure the lackie that wrote this found great solace in the performance of Barry Robson, Paul Hartley, Scott Brown and Shaun Maloney against Hearts and never noticed that we were missing Aiden McGeady, Nakamura or hamstring-ouched Marc Crosas while pondering what he wrote.

Oh The Wee Huns Are Boomsung.

Hearts current incumbent and Bond Villian lookalike, Csaba Laszlo, who is not as hateable as other incumbents they have had, said before the game that it would take Heart Of Lithuiania 10 tiltles and a Big Cup win to be able to say they could compete wie Celtic. After the game that looked as likely as him being in a job by the end of the season.

Csaba did do us a favour. After Hearts went doon to 10 men- dodgy decision, Scott McDonald was ootside the box and offside so Paul Hartley taking pity and missing the resultant pen meant justice was done then evened up when Barry Robson was brought doon for a stonewaller later on, which was not given- he decided to make subs, which bordered on the laughable. This mean't that the 2nd half was played at snail pace as Celtic had their most comfortable afternoon at the Tynecastle Apartments for years.

Celtic, won 2-0 thanks to goals by Shaun Maloney, another goal of the season contender and a Gary Caldwell goal, which looked like it contained 2 handballs and a ball being out of play. Csaba said of the winning goal: " When I saw it again, it showed a hand being used but I'm not criticising the M.I.B, it was hard for him to see" unlike the media who are lynching the M.I.B for this decision.

The manager went for power and brought in the warhorses of Barry Robson and Paul Hartley who proved once again when it becomes a battle these SPL boilersuit wearers are the ones to be wheeled oot. Upfront, Scott McDonald was paired wie Craig Beattiealike Cillian Sheridan who ran around and eh, ran around.

Still, the stats don't back up the comfortable view of this victory. Celtic had their worst shot on target total since we last dared to play in the Big Cup wie 3. We were Lee Naylor off like wie 5 shots off goal and oor possession was a low 52.3%. Suppose this backs up the FACT the game was won by 49mins when Hearts went doon to 10.

Talking point of the day? The Wee Huns banner that said "Big Jock Beasted Hoopy" and was signed "F.T.P". Bob Malcolm is in the frame for this. Also, the questionable, in some quarters, singing that followed the removal of this banner by the vocal away support. The anti-rebel and pro-rebel brigades are on the warpath again. Wonder if Celtic or the SPL will say anything regarding this incident, which will take the focus away from a disgusting banner.

I hope the day Hearts cease to be is quite soon.  

Who The Fuck Are Man Utd?

"They are the best team in the world, they are far better than Italy or France", said oor manager showing disregard  for football's rules. Also, France are quite gash at the mo. More worryingly he rejoiced when talking aboot oor visit to Trafford Ball Park: "West Brom lost 4, Hull lost 4 and West Ham should have been 7 down by half time, so we are in good company".

I would rather be in better company than those relegation haunted vessels.

As usual the mythical home record of played 18, W12, D4 and L2 gets trotted oot and commented on from such no-mark rent-a-quote-money-grabbers like Lou Macari. He says: "Just as in the case of Celtic's poor away form in Europe, their home record is there for all to see" and just proving he knows he haw aboot the Celtic support on Big Cup nights: "If Celtic are playing against a team they are expected to beat and they struggle a bit, the fans get tetchy, but against Man Utd the fans will cheer them on all night" yes, until we lose the ball or don't hump it forward every 5 seconds.

Trying to look on the positive side on things, unlike the last time when oor manager decided to run up the whiteflag before a ball was kicked, he says regarding oor 29mins on competing at the Trafford Ballpark: "Everyone in the United camp said that it wasn't easy for them, it was hard work. They couldn't find a way through and Artur didn't have a shot at him"

We need to compete. A draw is a great result and could be required if Aalborg BK decide that they fancy their chances against Villarreal. A point could be vital if the race for the UEFA Vase spot. We can't let oor heids go doon if we go a goal behind we have got to make a game of it. Barry Robson nails it when he says: "We need to make sure we do get in their faces when we come out the traps and try and use our ability to the best we can to cause an upset"

Get them doon to oor level and see if they fancy it. Robson, Hartley and Brown will get dusted doon for this and the manager maybe feeling Shaun Maloney will be better alongside him on the bench for this one. Aiden and Naka will expect to play and Scott McDonald is a shoo in for a 1 up front role.

Nae respect, nae pack drill.

Oor task is huge. We don't create chances in the Big Cup. We are the only team not to score in this seasons competition, a stat that is Hun like, and Famagusta, Roma, Aalborg BK, Kiev and Bate, have equal or less than oor 8 shots on goal stat. Man Utd have yet to concede a goal in the Big Cup this season.

Set plays again anyone? We have scored from corners in oor last 3 outings. Stats show we willnae get many chances we require Naka to be on form and whip in dangerous set plays. Oor record at El Paradiso against English teams is decent. W4, D2 and L1 wie the loss coming to Notts Forest. Team USA United have only been beaten once on Scottish soil.

It's the hope that kills you but I fancy we will compete and sneak a 1-1 draw. Barry Robson will get on the end of a set play as he seems to score in big games.

Rumour O'Filter

The SSM, Peter Lawell came oot and said "We are in the business of winning championships, not cashing in on players. That means Nakamura is staying with us". He mumbled something aboot buying in January as well.

Gordon Strachan was heard to laugh at the thought of us signing a left-back, when 34yo Sylvinho was mentioned to him. Get a grip was his reaction.

Big week. I canny handle anymair south of the border gloating or the London Mancs being smug gits on Wednesday night. Let's get stuck in. Leave a Hail Hail (c'mon I know you want to), if you want to leave me a message my profile page is here and the Celtic hame page is here.

Forza