The Lord Of The Wing

Lets Get Political, Political.

Sat, 7 Nov 2009 06:21:57 -0600

Over The Top?

I tend to stay away from political issues as the next few hundred words will prove that I know as much about politics as your average Liberal Democrat.

I've set myself up here as I know guys, who know how to work google will smoke me out, but I think I know the fabric of a decent human being.

The Daily Mail run a campaign this week naming and shaming EPL clubs that weren't wearing a poppy. The paper took great pleasure in boasting that most clubs will now wear them due to their instance that they should.

And I thought the poppy was meant to mark those that lost their lives in the war against Fascism?

Over the years the poppy has took on a whole new meaning and has become a political symbol. Right wing papers, see the Daily Mail, have decided to use it as a crusade to promote nationalism and Brutishness while a government and the armed forces have used it to gain support for a war the public had no interest in supporting.

Having politics forced onto sport is Fascism in my opinion. Football clubs this weekend are being used as political pawns and I agree with those who say that they should have the right to choose if they stand in silence or wear a poppy.

But we are being asked to.

So, if you can't stand in silence for 1 minute and remember those who you want to remember then stand outside the ground.

If you feel the urge to disengage your brain, open your mouth and break the silence then you lack the fabric of a human being and I hope fellow Celtic fans serve you to scientists to find out what kind of the lowest life form you are.

Take the high ground and protest after the silence.

Oh, we have a game to play after it. Free falling Falkirk who don't know what a win or who is their manager is. 3 points a given'.

We Are The Victims

Sat, 7 Nov 2009 01:51:33 -0600

Sonny is 41. Reports suggest that he has some of his own teeth and a healthly appetite. His workers say that he maybe ready for the job market in a few years and once his disability is sorted he is hoping to move out of his parents house.*

When stopped by a Scottish Hun reporter he thought nothing of speaking to the reporter as that paper is as British as the Poppy he wasn't wearing.

Little did he know that he would be captured by EVERY Celts favourite TV Channel- no, not Babestation - GSP Tv, confronting those nasty stewards who where shouting Celtic and other such obscenities like get back you ugly thug bastards.

GSP TV hasn't captured the despicable attack on the old fellow, a war veteran who is wheelchair bound and wanted attention as he had lost a hand going to the toilet who was set upon by these stewards.

This is the 5th time in 5 years this old fellow has been attacked.

But GSP Tv has captured these clips. If you are offended enough then send a letter to UEFA or dail 118 118 and ask for that useless French bloke and you will get Plantini's office.

I'm just satisfied of them outing themselves.

*Not true, I think.

Thanks to Sc0tsman on KDS for the GIF.

Unrating The Players: I Blame The Turnstiles For McDonalds Touch.

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 11:23:24 -0600

The men with mics on ESPN last night seemed to enjoy reiterating the fact that a creditable draw was not enough to get us through.

The intelligent amongst us knew that our Euro jaunt was done for after the first two games but in a strange twist of events the correct results in the Rapid Tel Aviv double header could have left us in with a decent fist of qualifying.

Not that we deserve it.

Looking at the Zooropa stats the shots on target columns in most groups resemble a dodgy bingo card that just has high numbers. At a paltry 16 the tag the Glasgow Galacticos is sadly misplaced.

It seems in a tournament that is a glutton for goals as the have not's of European football slog it out we are the pragmatic bunch.

How strange.

Ratings?

Zulaska 8

The 'For Sale' sign is being polished and placed on the Holy Goalie MK1. But I remember Mark Brown having a decent game in Moscow

Hinkel 5

Decent Bjork impression. Oh, so quiet.

Caldwell 7

No own goals but a stupid booking. About as good as you get.

Loovens 7

Europe makes you look good. Then your hair style suits Germany.

Fox 5

Why does the image of Michael Gray now spring to mind?

McGeady 4

Difficult night. No complaints about his subistution but it did take the Hamburg full back a while to get him out his pocket to allow it happen.

N'Guemo 8

Showed why I thought Arsene Wenger only discovered these types of players. I'm sure on Sunday he will show on Sunday why Arsene Wenger never discovered him.

Crosas 8

Simples. Pass, move, get another pass then watch the ball rebound back to you from the front men. Ask Massimo how he coped and watch for Scott Brown trying to injure you.

Robson 7

Lacks the finesse for this level. But seeing a big glaikit ginger must be amusing for those on the continent.

Skippy -1

I'm sure there is a sport somewhere that being able to knock the ball 30 yards with your shin is a skill worth having. Go and find it.

Sammy: 1

If only you put the same effort into your thinking as you put into your histrionics.

Subs

Naylor: 1

At least you weren't brought on as a winger

McGinn: 1

Struggles to make an impact at times. Pace could be useful in the future.

MAF: 1

Caught Skippyitis and struggled to hold the ball for longer than 2 seconds.

The Manager 5

You mission was akin to putting deck chairs out on a submarine. They were always going to be displaced when it went down.

Thing is. It never went down and it limped into port without ever looking in danger of submerging.

I hope by this point next year we will be able to handle European mobs and keep possession against those we should be competing with.

Your task is to ensure that Rapids and Tel Avivs of this world are at least 4 points in the bag.

Rangers FC. The Gift That Keeps On Giving

Fri, 6 Nov 2009 06:04:45 -0600

VIDEO S-a cutremurat Bucurestiul! Rangers a venit cu 2000 de fani! pe www.sport.ro

The petty and small minded enjoy their rivals woes sometimes more than their own teams victories. While I enjoy a Celtic victory more than anything I write from a petty and small minded body with a strange set of values, which were born in the 1990's.

I enjoy a good Rangers car crash.

Wednesday night was another one to add to the list of car crashes. A goal that cost them £500,000 and a riot (or minor incident) that could cost them a whole lot more.

In recent years the Martin The Failed Model Bain has defended their dignity against those nasty ailments such as, poor stewarding, poor over zealous policing, Chelsea fans and the violent minority with such vigour the press lap up his bravery like a modern day Monty.

The charge sheet (recent) reads as such:

Milan 2005

Sectarian chanting clearly heard in a closed doors game attended by only a couple of hundred hand picked delegates and press people.

Villarreal 2006

Fans clash with riot police out side the stadium.The club blames lack of organisation and heavy handed policing. Chelsea fans blamed in the media. Club fined for a fan breaking the Villarreals team bus window and sectarian chanting lands the club another fine.

Osasuna 2007

Another clash with riot police inside the stadium. The club blame lack of segregation and heavy handed policing. Chelsea fans blamed in the media. Pictures reveal dozens of known banned Rangers hooligans in the official Rangers end.

Manchester 2008

City laid to waste as over 1m Rangers fans descend on the city. Rioting after a screen showing the game was switched off after fears for staff safety were raised. The club blames lack of organisation and heavy handed policing. The media blames Chelsea.

Bucharest 2009

Attack stewards with fists and chairs at half time. Warned over the PA system that if they didn't behave the game would be abandoned. Numerous racist songs sung including "Can you hear the gypsies sing?". Yawn, guess what and who was to blame?

UEFA have a bulging dossier now. It's so big an office junior gets weekend overtime to ensure it's up to date. Will they use it?

Not holding my breath.

The Cry Was No Goals And Hamburg Get Confused.

Thu, 5 Nov 2009 15:24:47 -0600

Original Video- More videos at TinyPic

Insert Your Own Nazi No Surrender Joke Here

Good Scottish take on our performance would be battling. Purist take would be a bore draw with very little football on display.

Still, we will take battling and hanging on in there for grim death against a mob that fancies their chances of winning the thing.

It was like so many other numerous away day performances. The ball rebounded from the strikers back towards our goal like they were springs in a pinball machine and the pinball wizard was going for his highest score.

Our defence seemed to take leave of their senses at times and when the option was boot it out they took the option marked let's pretend we are footballers. But we got away with it. The ending that is usual on nights like these was not on the agenda.

In fact we could have nicked it. Our strikers had opportunities best described as gilt edge and not of the half variety. We are not going to qualify but we can mark this as a good nights work when compared to the abominations that we have watched over the years.

Bottomline is who would have expected Tel Aviv to take 8 goals from Rapid? I still stand by my assessment of Tel Aviv. Bottom 6 SPL, beatable at Celtic Park and Rapid are beatable in Vienna. I'm looking for 6 points in our remaining games and further evidence of those who are worth keeping.

So tonight who stepped up to the mark and showed they had a future?

Take a bow The Holy Goalie MKII, Landry, Crosas and Loovens.

Further trials will be held in two weeks and the week before xmas to see who reaches the boot camp of redemption and the ones who get the boot.

Oh, Hamburgs captain Jarolim and the Hamburg fans deserve each other. I would use my martial art training to rip their heads off and piss in their pipes.

Hamburg Day Night.

Wed, 4 Nov 2009 11:36:55 -0600

The problem is such.

Decent performances against Kanus Of Midlothian and Kilmarnock are no gauge how we will fare in the unkind and hostile European environment where if your best ability is being able to run very very fast, for very very long and keep your shape means you don't even tickle the testicles of the giants.

Hamburg at home saw a performance where I was pleased with the effort but embarrassed at times with the application of basic football ability. Our manager saw enough to suggest we could get a result in Germany.

I saw nothing of the sort.

Hamburg fancy their chances of winning this thing. Final is at the HSH Nordbank Arena (the Germans are not shy in renaming their grounds. Rangers should take note that their is an Easy Credit Stadium in the Bundesbag) where they bide.

And so they should. The Germans and Russians are always knocking on the door when this gong is being handed out. They are kings of the European middle order, the draw no-one wants due to filthy lucre siphoned from Tv Executives and the Oligarchs with more corpses in their mouths than our chairmen.

Bruno Laddadias side have lost 3 goals in each of their league outings since their reserves beat us at The Mythical Fort. They have qualities and depth that a club like ourselves who are sliding down the being able to compete in Europe chute -quicker than a kid with cotton tracksuit bottoms after 3 days rain- can only dream off.

The chances of us scoring 3 goals or evening threatening their goal is slim. The evidence is all there in glorious HD if you disagree. Two meaningful wins in Europe in 2 years is the stat to be beat this squad with.

The Beatles spent many amphetamine clouded months in the Reeperbhan honing their sound and growing up. While there will be some of the travelling support enjoying the delights, vices and making friends with St Pauli fans (who have arranged a great welcome) I'm looking for what members of the squad will step up in Beatlesesq fashion.

Who is worth keeping to continue at this level?

Defeat is no disgrace to a Hamburg side on the up. It's not being able to beat the Rapids and Tel Aviv's of this world that has this Tim worried.

Changes will be made. I fancy The Greek Berbatov to be up top with Robson and McGinn in for McCourt and Skippy.

Still fancy the Germans to be easy winners so much so that I will be backing them to win despite Celtic having a 1 goal start.

If the bet wins then I get some money, if it loses then I maybe have got what I was looking for.

Koran Calling

Wed, 4 Nov 2009 05:44:24 -0600

Koran, Koran, Koran

I call this lazy journalism and it should be filed under bored hack after a few too many lunchtime pints.

But at least he joined the dots.

Robert Koren, a BTM signing at WBA, is unhappy and citing Derek Riordon reasons for possible wanting a move away from the Hawthorns.

Unhappy being stuck out on the wing.

Mowbray signed him at WBA and Celtic court central midfielders like no other club. Not as if we don't already have enough of them picking up wages for being average.

You Pest Boys.

Wed, 4 Nov 2009 05:06:51 -0600

The link that is not a link and no-way Jose are Ujpest FC our feeder club despite having our ex-youth team coach as manager and them planning to send some of their young Hungarian talent over to Celtic.

Talent from the East usually arrives in Glasgow hidden in trucks and with virgin stamped on their foreheads but these ones are flying 1st class and will roll into The Lennoxtown Youth With Special Talent Detention Centre in the next few weeks.

Those who will be asked to cough into a bag and checked to see if they have 10 fingers, toes, their own knee caps and an ability to pass a ball are rumoured to be midfielder Zsolt Korcsmar and winger Daniel Kovacs.

Friend of the blog Joe at Video Celt has been keeping us informed of The You Pest FC Project. I will say that I'm disappointed that the name Peter Kabat has not been mentioned.

A good old fashioned number 10 says Paul's brother.

Holy Willies AM

Tue, 3 Nov 2009 02:25:22 -0600

Watch After The Watershed Kids

Soccer AM is not known for it's comedy genius. It gave us the ever punchable figure of Tim Lovejoy and for that we should be grateful.

Having The Holy Willies as fan(nies)s of the week, on Halloween, can be classed as an accident by the producers and not an intentional joke.

The last time The Holy Willies appeared on Primetime Tv Crimewatch brought joy into the homes of The Celtic Family. That grainy CCTV Footage and 'Rogues Gallery' seemed to perfectly suitable ending to their Anti-Social Uefa Cup Run.

The ragged round the edges Hells Bells seemed a bit in awe of the Brethren. Seemingly she called them the best fans they have ever had on. Maybe she didn't know that they were not from a special needs school and that drooling, lazy eyes, speech impediments and the lack of any sign of intelligence is normal for them.

I'm sure the Political Wing of Follow Follow were delighted that after Manchester and their dire need to find a owner that some decent PR on a program that reaches the nooks and crannies of the Football world would have Oligarchs and dubious Arabs knocking on their door.

The result.

A mention of 1690 and singing of a known loyalist slogan was enough for the producer to basically tell them to shut up for the rest of the show.

I would find it funnier but we have a mob going down for next weeks show.

Rumour has it that they are a 'lively' bunch.

Top quality car crash TV not seen since Keith Chegwin got his tackle out could be a foot.

Unrating The Players: Killie Killers Yeah, Yeah Yeah.

Mon, 2 Nov 2009 08:26:56 -0600

Question: How does one hack see The Derry Diego as a liability and another describe two of his passes as being worthy of the later stages of the Champions League?

Oh also did you notice the Those Who Must Book Scots Born Irishmen For Diving was called Willie Collum?

The ratings they all read. Don't know who 'all' are right enough....

Zaluska 3

Look as uncomfortable as a player making his home league with jock strap trouble. Unsure about the Andy Goram tribute song about there being two holy goalies...

Hinkel 7

Is there some sort of inert phobia about giving a German MOTM at CP as he was the best player on the park? Two assists and a general asset to the team. The cynical amongst us think this form is because a return to Germany is coming up...

Heid: 3

It's Kevin Kyle.

Loovenator: 3

It's Connor Salmon.

Fox: 3

2nd Nayloresq performance from Danny Bhoy. Worrying.

McGeady: 7

Drifted inside to great effect. Made the correct choices and scored a good goal. Really has to stop this diving lark.

Crosas: 6

Have you found Massimo's boots? Yes, well it's your chance to fill them.

N'Guemo: 6

That's two decent performances in two games. If trend is to be followed expect a nightmare in Hamburg.

The Derry Diego: 7

Coaches need to sit you down and say: "See those passes you can play that cause defences to turn themselves inside out? Aye, mair of them please."

Sammy: 6

You scored, you created, you bemused and you do a great impression of that scream painting when something bad (like you get your hair dirty or something) happens.

Skippy: 3

Panting like a tart when the sailors are on shore leave after 30 mins. Working the channels and backline is not your bag.

Subs

MAF: 5

No Vaseline required for your gentle re-entry.

McGinn: 5

Proving to be a find for the domestic game. Starting or coming on you don't diminish the "quality" in the wide areas.

Zheng Zhi: 3

Again, you can count yourself unlucky not to get a starting berth. But that is the Chris Killen effect for you.

The Boss: 6

The wonder beforehand was what concoction of a team selection you would come up with as sometimes you have been like an octopus trying to make a cocktail.

But...sticking with the same midfield and strikers that finished the game strongly in midweek maybe is a sign that you have learned something this week.

Subs made an impact. Good day for the clipboard.