"I'm working on a cocktail called 'Grounds For Divorce'"

So like all other Timternet blawhards, the news that Gabriel Tamas went home without sealing the deal was blow. A lot of 'trusted' sources lost thier houses after staking thier mortgages that is was a 'done deal'. Sounds like the deal was done but Celtic have pulled the plug.

This...

LOTW is having a happy monday. No, Squirel and G-Man in my mind, but happy at the fact that we stepped-on Feyenoord with a 3-1 victory, which ensures we didn't finish with another wooden spoon this pre-season.

After Friday...

Celtic Plead Poverty 

What did LOTW do to deserve this?

Was it because he got wee Broony the belt for lying that he had shat his pants when LOTW was 5? Is it due to LOTW stealing those goldfish from the travelling fair pikey when he was 10? Was it because LOTW got pissed on Special Brew at...

LOTW has recovered. A pain, that was like a thousand paper cuts, that made me go to that dark place, the place that when the sun comes up you want to put your head back under the covers, a place that makes you want to book into that hotel in 'The Shining' and a place that is as welcome as a Nazi whore in Max Mosley's house.

Yes,  the pain of pre-season defeat and the loss of the coveted 'Algarve Cup' is hard to take.

Well, that's the annual LOTW sunshine break over for another year and what has LOTW learned this year? That drinking Buckfast and Sangria causes you tae lose two days and that going 'commando' gies yer gonads as much freedom as Andy Hinkel gies right handsided midfielders in pre-season games.

Talking of pre-season games, Gary Caldwell - rent a quote as some ca...

In light of bawbag Ronaldos claims that he is a slave, we at LOTW are calling for all employers to treat us, the employees, like slaves. We wish the right to get paid millions per year and decide we want to move as the shopping is shite where we live just now.

We want the right to be able to employ a lackie to wipe oor arse and be allowed to wipe oor...

 'Ssssssh, is that the SSM on the phone'

LOTW is getting into holiday mode. Packing his trunks (George Asda price), 3/4 length shorts (Primark) and numerous Celtic tops, which will be worn no matter where I am. Beach, bar or nightclub I will have the Hoops on.

I have washed ma shell suit (Celtic ...