Dundee Utd boss Craig Levein last night proved that he is in line to take over from Jim Jeffries as the biggest moaning faced arsehole in the Scottish game.

Handball

How did they rate?

Boruc: 6 Turned up, not much to do but gets points for being so noticeably injured and no-one did he-haw to help him.

Hinkel: 3 Hull's loss is also our loss.

Caldwell: 3 Lost the battle of 'The Stirlingers' to a wee ned. Another couple of hundred off the proposed contract.

Loovens: 3 Being around...

A top Doctor today spoke out to assure Celtic fans that they have not slipped into a sub concious coma like state that makes them believe they have time travelled back to anytime within the last 4 years.

A Fans Tale

Thousands of Celtic fans left Celtic Park, early off...

Millions of Chinese will miss out today after Tony Mowbray revealed that Chinese International superstar, Zheng Zhi, lacks match fitness and will not feature today against Dundee United.

Disappeared

The Chinese Beckham disappeared last week after signing a lucrative £10,000 per week contract with numerous...

Spooked. Celtic Fans. Yesterday.

"Our guys and fans realised it could be the same thing happening again so we all got a bit spooked bit it."

Awaiting Gordon. Maybe?

The players have been making the usual noises after a sickening defeat.

"I would say we were the better team but they won the match and it's now just a case of picking ourselves up for Tuesday." said

Since I'm writing this in not the best of moods I may as well start wie a foul mouthed rant at a Tory. David McLetchie, whose expenses are worthy of Lester Piggot, had a go at us in an interview and if I really could be bothered trawling over the bones of it then I would but..E-Tims sums it up well.

I just want to say that this no-mark wie his comments has just proved himself to...

Smoking? Check. Drinking? Check. Ginger? Check. Stereotyped Taig? Check!!!

That was the week that was. I'm sure, like me, yer Sky + husnae been this overworked since The Red Hot channel had a freeview night wie you watching Aiden skinning Clubfoot over and over again.

We had a wee celebration, which was...

The thought of hundreds of R*ngers "fans" sitting watching Jeremy Kyle, waiting on the offy to open for their daily dose of Kestral and Merrydown, and jumping everytime they hear a knock at the door, after Manchester Polis released a DVD titled "One Nightmare In May" which, documents their dignity has cheered me no...