Hell Toupee

Saturday, 07 July 07, 05:27 AM · Comments(2)

So Perth Glory's roster is in a bit of a flux while it waits to find out what will happen with its highest-paid, marquee player, Stan Lazaridis. Seems the former Birmingham midfielder got into a bit of a bind when he tested positive for a masking agent, which can also be used (and he says he was using) as a hair-loss remedy.

Stan has since gotten permission to continue using the drug, so his flowing locks are safe for now. But what isn't safe is his career - because he's facing as much as a two-year ban, all because he didn't want to go bald gracefully.

Now the deadline to submit rosters for the 2007 season to the A-League is looming, and Glory aren't sure how much of a ban Lazaridis is going to get. So this has thrown their roster plans into disarray, as Stan is quite a big part of the squad. Hopefully ASADA or FFA or whoever is in charge of making a decision will make up their minds soon. I certainly hope it's the FFA, because if ASADA is involved, like all anti-doping agencies, they'll make the wrong decision.

Someday, I'll tell you what I think about the ridiculousness of the whole "anti-doping" crusade in sport. But for now, I'll just give Stan Lazaridis some free, unsolicited advice. Next time, Skippy, do what Michael Jordan did: try a razor. You won't fail any drug test with a Gillette Mach 3.

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