Tim Cahill's Weet-Bix

Socceroos in Asia: Group Stage Post-Mortem

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 09:28:50 -0500

I was out of town this weekend, enjoying the lovely wine region of Margaret River, which is why I didn't write anything about the Socceroos' second Asian Cup match. That, and Australia's 3-1 loss to Iraq made me want to throw things.

But things seemed much better tonight. A 4-0 drubbing of Thailand, goals by Viduka and Kewell, and it would seem that normal service has resumed. It's hard to believe that, during a four-goal victory, there was a time when I thought to myself "Australia's problem is that they just don't seem to be able to give themselves a chance to score a goal."

But the fact is, while 4-0 is nice, and gives us the positive goal difference needed to go up, three of the goals were scored in the last ten minutes, and the scoreline is extremely hard on the Thais. Watching the match, there were plenty of what Sir Alex Ferguson calls "squeaky bum moments."

The Socceroos came into an awful lot of criticism following Saturday's match, and 99.5% of it was deserved. Honestly, I'm not convinced that all has been solved, and I'm just as worried about advancement in the next round of the Asian Cup as I was about tonight. But at least the Green and Gold have survived to play another day.

Chips and Gravy, Cushy Schedules, and God comes to Oz?

Thu, 12 Jul 2007 01:31:53 -0500

So I had this whole post typed out about the signings of Jason Koumas, Michael Chopra, Hayden Foxe and Robbie Fowler, only for it to be swallowed into the great abyss due to the OleOle maintenance schedule. Aargh! I'm not typing it over again, it took me 20 minutes. The world will just have to be deprived of my brilliance.

Instead, I'm going to talk about chips. Specifically, chips and gravy, and battered sausages, which I had for lunch when I walked down to the local chippy. Two things that you don't find much back in the States. I first discovered battered sausages about a month ago when an "authentic fish and chips" shop opened up in North Carolina, and I fell in love immediately. But to combine chips with gravy - that's the greatest "two great tastes that taste great together" pairing since the Reese's peanut butter cup.

I'm not sure about this whole "paying for ketchup (or tomato sauce, if you prefer) packets" bizzo, however. Ketchup should be free! Especially considering how much I eat it.

Anyway, former Socceroo Hayden Foxe signed for Perth Glory this week, and the ex-Leeds defender cited as a reason for his coming to the A-League the fact that he faces about half as many matches playing in the A-League as he would in England. The article then went on to say that this is a factor for him because he's injury prone. THAT'S reassuring.

In other A-League news, Sydney FC, not content with stringing along John Aloisi about the promise of a contract, has decided to turn its attention to God himself, Mr. Robbie Fowler. As much as I am a keen admirer of Fowler's talents (not to mention the fact that he looks vaguely like my brother), I'm not counting on seeing him run out on the pitch at Members Equity this season wearing a Franchise FC strip. It seems that the other suitors for the Almighty's signature include Cardiff, Leicester, and (European football ahoy!) both Rangers and Celtic. Somehow, that had better be a pretty damn lucrative financial package to convince Robbie to move his family halfway around the world. Maybe Foxey can give him a call about the reduced fixture list...

Gain one, or lose two?

Mon, 9 Jul 2007 01:54:21 -0500

Oh, where to begin with the Socceroos first match in the Asian Cup? First off, part of me feels like Australia was fortunate to escape with a point, while at the same time, I can't help but feel like it was two points dropped. At least they don't find themselves rooted to the bottom of the table, which is what they were facing until Super Timmy Cahill stepped up yet again (there's a reason this blog is named after him). Cometh the hour, cometh the man, indeed.

I don't understand why Australia were installed as such quick favorites for this tournament. For my money, Japan is still the team to beat, Kaiserlautern notwithstanding. I'm not going to blame the weather for the Socceroos' play (as it was the same for both teams). Instead, I wonder if the boys believed their own press clippings and came out with a less than 100% effort in the beginning, because they didn't think it would be required. On the other hand, once they found themselves in the soup, the Socceroos were able to break down a bunkering Omani side to find the vital equaliser. So that, at least, is encouraging.

As for Oman, I would like to take this opportunity to formally apologise for mockingly calling them "The Mighty Oman" earlier. Up until about 7:50 p.m. last night, it looked like I would be eating those words with a side of sweet chili sauce. However, I have to castigate them, as I cannot recall seeing a side in an international competition go to ground as frequently and shamelessly as the Omanis did. By my count, the referee called for the stretcher no less than seven times, and only once was there a legitimate injury that required the player to be substituted. The other six times, the Omani player popped right back up as soon as he reached the touchline, ready to re-enter the match. Perhaps a mandated five-minute period on the sidelines if the stretcher crew comes out to assist you will help in stamping out this particular type of unsporting behaviour.

Hell Toupee

Sat, 7 Jul 2007 05:27:48 -0500

So Perth Glory's roster is in a bit of a flux while it waits to find out what will happen with its highest-paid, marquee player, Stan Lazaridis. Seems the former Birmingham midfielder got into a bit of a bind when he tested positive for a masking agent, which can also be used (and he says he was using) as a hair-loss remedy.

Stan has since gotten permission to continue using the drug, so his flowing locks are safe for now. But what isn't safe is his career - because he's facing as much as a two-year ban, all because he didn't want to go bald gracefully.

Now the deadline to submit rosters for the 2007 season to the A-League is looming, and Glory aren't sure how much of a ban Lazaridis is going to get. So this has thrown their roster plans into disarray, as Stan is quite a big part of the squad. Hopefully ASADA or FFA or whoever is in charge of making a decision will make up their minds soon. I certainly hope it's the FFA, because if ASADA is involved, like all anti-doping agencies, they'll make the wrong decision.

Someday, I'll tell you what I think about the ridiculousness of the whole "anti-doping" crusade in sport. But for now, I'll just give Stan Lazaridis some free, unsolicited advice. Next time, Skippy, do what Michael Jordan did: try a razor. You won't fail any drug test with a Gillette Mach 3.

The Smell Test

Thu, 5 Jul 2007 05:52:26 -0500

Am I the only one who thinks this whole Thaksin Shinawatra takeover of Manchester City is going to end in tears? The guy is the worst kind of politician - a disgraced politician. He was the subject of a coup, and is facing corruption charges. Didn't it occur to the City board that their club might just be a pawn in a money laundering scheme? That was certainly the first thing I thought of. In journalism school, they teach you about the "smell test." Well, this whole deal fails the smell test spectacularly.

On the other hand, it will certainly be interesting to see Sven-Goran Eriksson back into management. For those of us who don't really follow Serie A, this will be our first chance to see Svennis involved in day-to-day management, which I think is probably his forte, instead of international football.

Now that Sheffield United has failed in its appeal to be reinstated, the rats have begun to flee the sinking ship. First to go is Phil Jagielka, who has scarpered off to Everton on a £4 million deal. I have sympathy for the Blades, especially now that Neil Warnock is out of the picture. West Ham played matches with two players who, in the rules of the EPL, were illegally registered due to the third-party ownership agreement. Therefore, they broke the rules. Whenever other clubs have been caught playing with illegally-registered players, they had to surrender any points they gained in matches those players participate in. So why didn't West Ham have to do that?

Frankly, the Hammers cheated. And I'll be hoping that they go down this season. Nothing personal, West Ham fans, but deep down, you know your team got away with something this time.

Beckham comes to Oz!!!

Wed, 4 Jul 2007 04:35:39 -0500

It probably isn't earth-shattering news requiring three exclamation points, but that's how the media seem to be treating it. If there wasn't this pesky story about Queensland doctors getting wrapped up in international terrorist plots, I'm sure it would have been the lead story.

The gist of it is that David Beckham and his new team, L.A. Galaxy, will be in Sydney in November to play Sydney FC. Now, putting aside the fact that I can't stand the Galaxy and wish dearly that Becks had gone to any other Major League Soccer team (although that was never going to be the case), and that Sydney FC, that marketer's dream that gets every possible advantage the A-League will give them, I'm actually excited about this match for two reasons:

1) The day has finally come where an MLS team is a major draw for friendlies in countries other than the US. Granted, it all has to do with a 31-year-old who still hasn't actually played a match with the team yet, but still. The Galaxy are a club in demand.

2) Beckham appearance in this match is guaranteed. So if he gets a cold, or Landon Donovan is laying in wait to kneecap him because Becks' stole his place as the Galaxy's free-kick specialist, or Tom Cruise kidnaps Becks for some sort of Scientology shindig, the match will be re-scheduled. Maybe I'm just still jet-lagged, but I can't think of any other instance off the top of my head where a superstar's participation in an off-season friendly was ensured. Usually, it's just the opposite. Just ask all the people who showed up at the USL All-Star Game last summer expecting to see Romario.

So really, the news about the match on November 27 is noteworthy. Not because it's Becks playing in a friendly, but because of the shift in the football landscape it represents.

Adjustment period

Tue, 3 Jul 2007 19:31:50 -0500

So after approximately thirty hours of travelling by plane halfway around the world, I'm finally in Perth. Miraculously, both us and all of our luggage made it all the way (especially given what happened in Sydney) and there were no major complications (despite United telling us we had been upgraded to business class for one leg of the trip, then arriving at the ticket counter to be told that our tickets weren't eligible for upgrade, oh, and our old seats had been given away to somebody else. But the sorry state of American air travel is another story for another day).

I can't tell you how odd a feeling it is to be in this metal can in the air for the better part of a day and a half, with the sense that the entire world is going on without your involvement. Then this morning, when I was lying in bed because of my malfunctioning internal clock, I realised that it was Tuesday evening back home, and my friends and family were getting ready for dinner, the very thing that I had been doing twelve hours previously. It's weird having a sense of "living in the future" like that.

Obviously, this will take some getting used to. But I'm sure the adjustment time for most things won't be very long.

This weekend, the Socceroos play the mighty Oman in an Asian Cup match. I'll need to get a copy of the TV listings to figure out where to tune it.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go cereal shopping. It'll be curious to see what's out there, but I'll probably just stick with Frosties.