So I had this whole post typed out about the signings of Jason Koumas, Michael Chopra, Hayden Foxe and Robbie Fowler, only for it to be swallowed into the great abyss due to the OleOle maintenance schedule. Aargh! I'm not typing it over again, it took me 20 minutes. The world will just have to be deprived of my brilliance.

Instead, I'm going to talk about chips. Specifically, chips and gravy, and battered sausages, which I had for lunch when I walked down to the local chippy. Two things that you don't find much back in the States. I first discovered battered sausages about a month ago when an "authentic fish and chips" shop opened up in North Carolina, and I fell in love immediately. But to combine chips with gravy - that's the greatest "two great tastes that taste great together" pairing since the Reese's peanut butter cup.

I'm not sure about this whole "paying for ketchup (or tomato sauce, if you prefer) packets" bizzo, however. Ketchup should be free! Especially considering how much I eat it.

Anyway, former Socceroo Hayden Foxe signed for Perth Glory this week, and the ex-Leeds defender cited as a reason for his coming to the A-League the fact that he faces about half as many matches playing in the A-League as he would in England. The article then went on to say that this is a factor for him because he's injury prone. THAT'S reassuring.

In other A-League news, Sydney FC, not content with stringing along John Aloisi about the promise of a contract, has decided to turn its attention to God himself, Mr. Robbie Fowler. As much as I am a keen admirer of Fowler's talents (not to mention the fact that he looks vaguely like my brother), I'm not counting on seeing him run out on the pitch at Members Equity this season wearing a Franchise FC strip. It seems that the other suitors for the Almighty's signature include Cardiff, Leicester, and (European football ahoy!) both Rangers and Celtic. Somehow, that had better be a pretty damn lucrative financial package to convince Robbie to move his family halfway around the world. Maybe Foxey can give him a call about the reduced fixture list...

So Perth Glory's roster is in a bit of a flux while it waits to find out what will happen with its highest-paid, marquee player, Stan Lazaridis. Seems the former Birmingham midfielder got into a bit of a bind when he tested positive for a masking agent, which can also be used (and he says he was using) as a hair-loss remedy.

Stan has since gotten permission to continue using the drug, so his flowing locks are safe for now. But what isn't safe is his career - because he's facing as much as a two-year ban, all because he didn't want to go bald gracefully.

Now the deadline to submit rosters for the 2007 season to the A-League is looming, and Glory aren't sure how much of a ban Lazaridis is going to get. So this has thrown their roster plans into disarray, as Stan is quite a big part of the squad. Hopefully ASADA or FFA or whoever is in charge of making a decision will make up their minds soon. I certainly hope it's the FFA, because if ASADA is involved, like all anti-doping agencies, they'll make the wrong decision.

Someday, I'll tell you what I think about the ridiculousness of the whole "anti-doping" crusade in sport. But for now, I'll just give Stan Lazaridis some free, unsolicited advice. Next time, Skippy, do what Michael Jordan did: try a razor. You won't fail any drug test with a Gillette Mach 3.