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Share & Share Alike?

Friday, 01 February 08, 07:38 PM

Like many people, I had spent much of the last year or so wondering about the supine reaction of Liverpool supporters to the Gillett & Hicks take-over. Here were two people coming in with no apparent prior interest in Liverpool Football Club, making numerous promises and claims, but with the prevailing common knowledge becoming apparent that they didn't have the cash up front to pay for it. Very few people that closely connected wondered aloud where the money was going to come from. The club was being purchased for £300m and the new stadium will cost something like £400m. These are substantial amounts of money. They were also making promises of spending obscene amounts of money on players. In spite of this, Stars & Stripes flags were flown on match days. The arrivistes were feted as saviours. It was almost as if no-one had been paying any attention to what had gone on forty miles up the road at Old Trafford for the last few years or so. Considering that Liverpool is the city that was the birthplace of Militant, the home of the Dockers' strike and a city which remains one of the most politically left-wing in Britain, it was all most perplexing.

Over the last few weeks or so, the wheels have come spectacularly off the wagon for the new owners. They may have secured the refinancing package that they desperately needed, but it hasn't come cheap and it is now common knowledge that, just as at Manchester United, a football club is effectively paying for itself to be taken over by outside investors, and at a cost of £30m per year in interest payments alone - money which, ultimately, will come from the supporters themselves. The seeds of the problems for Gillett & Hicks were sown in their treatment of Rafael Benitez. Whatever the shortcomings of Benitez are, he has taken them to two European Cup finals in three years and is still enormously popular on Merseyside. The club's apparent misjudgement of this incurred the wrath of the supporters and a demonstration march to the ground towards the end of last year. The lack of harmony within the club may or may not be directly responsible for the club's slump in form, a slump so severe that it hasn't merely ended their Premier League championship bid but will quite possibly result in them taking part in the UEFA Cup next season rather than the Champions League. There was a further demonstration against Gillett & Hicks at the recent match against Aston Villa. Something, one suspected, was in the air. At last.

The upshot of it all is "Share Liverpool FC", launched today in the city by Rogan Taylor, a long time Liverpool supporter and the chair of the Football Supporters Association, Kevin Jaquiss, a lawyer specialising in employment law who was part of the group responsible for writing the legal model upon which all supporters trusts are based, and Phil French, a former director of communications of the Premier League who is now employed as the chief executive of Supporters Direct. In terms of knowledge and support, you couldn't really ask for much more experience. The plan is a simple (if ambitious) one: persuade 100,000 Liverpool supporters to pay £5,000 each and raise £500m to buy the club, and then run it as a not-for-profit mutual society, with no shareholder dividends and no profit. The group has had a somewhat shaky start (such was the level of interest that the web site collapsed fifteen minutes after it went live and, at the time of writing, hasn't recovered yet), but this would appear to bode well for them - a considerable amount interest in a concept that very few people had even heard about as recently as a couple of days ago.

So, can it work? Well, it
can. These are monstrous amounts of money, though - are there 100,000 Liverpool supporters in the world who will part with £5,000 in order to take control of the club? Are there that many supporters groups that will band together and buy shares between them? The next few weeks will provide a few answers to this, but it is worth remembering that if nothing else, we should applaud the principle of this idea. Some, such as the apparently "humorous" website Who Ate All The Pies, have already chosen to scoff at the announcement, with a magnificently ill-informed article on the announcement that appears to have been written on the back of a cigarette packet in the pub. I don't know which part of their piece on the subject (which I'm not linking to from here - if you want to see it, you can go and look for yourselves) is the worst: "They should leave the running of the club to the money men in suits who know about such things", or "this is communism at its most hare-brained" are vying with each other (and a whole host more) for the most the most ill-informed comment on the subject. Having embarked upon second and third readings of it, I can confidently state that more or less every single sentence of it is as bad as the one that preceded it.


My personal inclination is to think that this plan is unlikely to work, but that this shouldn't preclude people from supporting it. What, exactly, are the alternatives? Well, there's The Middle-Aged Man Possibly On The Cusp Of A Nervous Breakdown Model (Newcastle United), The Asset Stripping Leveraged Buyout Model (Liverpool, Manchester United), The Billionaire That Could Get Bored At Any Moment And Leave Your Club Staring Into The Abyss Model (Chelsea), The God Knows What He's Up To Or, For That Matter, What His Predecessor Was Up To Either Model (Cardiff City), The Buy The Club, Kick Them Out Of The Ground, Sell The Ground And Vamoose Model (Brighton & Hove Albion) or The Former Foreign Dictator Who Could Find All Of His Assets Frozen At Any Moment Model (Manchester City) to choose from. I'd be more inclined to be critical of this project if the people that have run our clubs for the last one hundred and thirty years or so were paragons of financial and moral rectitude, but the bare fact is that they're not. If Share Liverpool should fail, they'll have at least given it a go, and it might plant the seed of an idea in the supporters of other, smaller clubs. If does turn out to work, it might just revolutionise the way that English football is run forever. Seems worth a try, doesn't it?

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When Soap Operas Collide

Friday, 01 February 08, 07:32 PM

The Simpsons has a habit of occasionally dropping in cameo performances from the stars of other animated series, and it always leave me feeling strangely uncomfortable. Seeing Fred Flintstone sitting on the couch at 742 Evergreen Terrace has the effect of making me look around, just to check that the world is still turning and that I haven't slipped, without noticing, into a parallel universe. Soap operas, thank heavens, don't do the same thing nearly as often, but I had to check that there was just the one sun in the sky this morning with the news that Dennis Wise has been appointed as the General Manager at Newcastle United, an appointment which has further reinforced my opinion that Mike Ashley is suffering some sort of nervous breakdown.

Interviewed on the radio last night, Kevin Keegan sounded somewhat bemused and unhappy at the appointment. After all the fanfare of his resurrection-like return to St James Park (though it is always worth pointing out that this particular "Geordie Messiah" isn't actually a Geordie himself, and that his first significant involvement with Newcastle United was practically beating them single-handed for Liverpool in the 1974 FA Cup final - he didn't sign for Newcastle until 1982, by which time he was way past his best and had already retired from international football), Newcastle have played some atrocious football in his two matches in charge so far, barely registering a shot on target against either Bolton Wanderers or Arsenal, but I doubt if he could reasonably have been expecting such a, well, peculiar appointment to be made, especially without his own authorisation.

Leeds United supporters seem happy enough with it all and, indeed, why shouldn't they be? I fully understand that they would be top of the table if it hadn't been for the fifteen point deduction that they suffered during the summer because of the attempted sleight of hand over their financial crisis at the time, but their supporters seem to have long enough memories to be be fully aware of the fact that it was Wise that took them down in the first place and that his appointment and retention at Elland Road seemed to be largely on the basis that he is one of the few men in football that actually likes Ken Bates. They have spent heavily since the transfer embargo placed upon them was lifted, and being near the top of League One, for a club that was competing in the Champions League earlier in this decade, should be their minimum requirement, points deduction or no. The only cloud on their horizon is the spectre of Dave Bassett, seemingly appointed as caretaker-manager - another ghost from the past, who seems unlikely to be the man to provide them with very much success or, indeed watchable football.

Considering how dull the January transfer window has been, we should be grateful to Leeds and Newcastle (as well as Liverpool) for providing us with as much mirth as they have done. Football needs this level of incompetent administration to give the rest of us something to giggle over, and you get the feeling that it just wouldn't be the same if everyone was ably administrated. All we need now is for Jose Mourinho to be offered the Leeds job, only for him to turn it down, leaving them with Steve McClaren in charge, and the circle will be complete.

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What On Earth Is Going On At Liverpool?

Friday, 01 February 08, 07:17 PM

This season's major trend has been a very singular type of managerial sacking, involving "intolerable pressure" building up in the media, directors and owners panicking, and a manager's job becoming basically untenable, regardless of whether he deserves to be sacked or not. In some cases, it was undignified to the point of being embarrassing to watch, such as at Chelsea, where the boardroom politics, the despotic ownership and the ridiculous amount of control given to senior players were made public. At Newcastle, Sam Allardyce did the impossible, in becoming a figure of public sympathy for being ousted through a mixture of supporter ignorance and an owner that seems to be too eager to please said ignorant supporters.

Now, at Liverpool, the position of Rafael Benitez seems to have been undermined still further by the actions of their owners, George Gillett and Tom Hicks. It has become apparent as the season has worn on that Liverpool are not going to mount a serious championship challenge in the Premier League. In fact, if anything they seem to have taken a backward step since last season, and are currently playing like they have more in common with the likes of Everton, Manchester City and Portsmouth than they have with Chelsea, Manchester United and Arsenal. The money that was reported to be delivered to Benitez to further strengthen his squad doesn't appear to have been forthcoming, and now there are worrying rumours coming from Anfield regarding a need to restructure the club's finances ahead of the construction of a proposed new stadium in Stanley Park. There are some Liverpool supporters that are starting to sound increasingly alarmed, to the point of drawing similarities with the beginning of the decline of Leeds United.

The problem at the centre of Liverpool's current difficulties is the funding of their take-over last year. As with Manchester United, Liverpool were subject to a leveraged buyout, meaning that Gillett and Hicks utilised stock market rules to purchase the club for a fraction of its actual value. At the time, Liverpool's supporters were very supine about it all. Stars and stripes flags were waved at Anfield. The new owners were more than happy to lap up the praise when they got to the European Cup final in May, even though they'd had precious little to do with it. This season, their big summer signing Fernando Torres has carried them single-handedly through the season. They made a dog's dinner of getting through their group stage, losing to Besiktas and Marseille in a group that they should have had sewn up with games to spare. In the Premier League, they have slowly and consistently fallen further and further away from the top three since the start of the season.

The major problem for Liverpool FC is that they simply cannot afford to not qualify for the Champions League this season and, indeed, every season for the forseeable future. The buyout of the club cost £300m, which has been loaded against the club itself. On top of this, one of Gillett and Hicks' first acts when they took over was to promise to build a new stadium, at a cost of a further £300m. Liverpool were already said to be £80m in debt at the time of the buyout. Gillett and Hicks are said to be trying to restructure the club's finances through the banks, but this in itself is an expensive business. A recent report in the Daily Telegraph put the cost of the restructuring at £15m, and the cost of the new stadium has already risen to £400m, with £20m having already been paid to architects.

In the beginning, Liverpool's supporters were open to the idea. Broadly, they supported Gillett and Hicks against their rivals in bidding, Dubai International Capital, who represent the interests of the ultra-wealthy Maktoum family. Gillett and Hicks said the right thing. However, leverage buyouts are done for one reason. To buy something that is considered under-valued in the market without putting much investment in and sell it on at a profit. DIC may well have the funding to underwrite the club's debts, but they have already stated publicly that they don't much want to pour money into a black hole (and why, indeed, should they?). The danger, for Liverpool, is that they could end up hundreds of millions pounds in debt, unable to service so much as the interest payments on debts that they may already have unnecessarily run up.

At Manchester United, supporters were already protesting before the Glazer takeover. It might not have been enough to prevent the buyout there from going through (although anyone looking at the end of year figures coming from Old Trafford will be able to tell you that journalists stating massive profits there simply hasn't read the full story of how they've been massaged), but their disaffected supporters at least have an alternative. Liverpool supporters might just find that things could get a lot worse for them before they get any better.

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Coventry City 4-0 Liverpool

Friday, 01 February 08, 07:10 PM

Here's a video from December 1983 of Liverpool (about who's current woes I have quite a lot to say) coming up against what I can only presume was an unexpectedly feisty Coventry City side in the First Division. Commentary comes from a pre-histrionics John Motson.

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Newcastle - Entertaining Everyone Except For Their Own Fans

Tuesday, 15 January 08, 04:51 PM

Well, considering that it was such a badly kept secret, the sacking of Sam Allardyce from Newcastle United is still something of a surprise, thanks in no small part to the fact that it is such a staggeringly stupid decision, and is such a staggeringly stupid decision on so many levels. Amazing. There seems to be no extent that the directors of that club won't go to in order to make their club a laughing stock but, whereas I would normally express my sympathy to the poor, down-trodden supporters of the club concerned, I can do no such thing this time, because Newcastle's supporters have been wholly complicit in this whole, ridiculous affair. The biggest complaints coming from St James Park over the last few weeks have come from the terraces (regarding the quality of football that Newcastle have been playing), from people who seem singularly incapable of accepting Newcastle's place in the new world order of English football.

I mean, and I ask this question in all seriousness, who are they going to get that is any better? Allardyce is no great favourite of mine (you'd noticed?), but the idea of getting a better manager, barely half-way through the season, with a team in "turmoil" (as the tabloid press would call it), seems to be the sort of leap of imagination that would normally be reserved largely for people that one might describe as "mentally interesting". Harry Redknapp is the bookmakers' favourite, but why would he want to decamp from his home on the south coast and the good work that he is doing at Portsmouth? Why would Mark Hughes want to leave Blackburn to try and sort this mess out when he's building a decent team (albeit one that can't do anything in the cups) at Blackburn? No Premier League manager that is any good is going to go there. It's a managerial graveyard. I asked a Newcastle supporter the other week this simple question: when was the last time that a Newcastle manager went on to a better job having managed Newcastle? His answer was Gordon Lee, who went from St James Park to Everton in 1977. In other words, it's over thirty years since a Newcastle manager was deemed to have succeeded sufficiently to have a better offer made to them. Looking down the bookmakers' lists must make dispiriting reading for Newcastle supporters. Alan Shearer is the second favourite (primarily because he has made noises that he would like the job, in spite of having no managerial experience whatsoever), and then you're down to the likes of Martin Jol, Terry Venables and Tony Mowbray. This is the problem with replacing your manager after Christmas - no-one in a decent job is going to want to take over your club if it's in a mess.

This decision isn't a nightmare from a purely footballing point of view, although it doesn't make any sense in this respect. Newcastle are in eleventh place in the Premier League at the moment, which is about their average league place over the last three or four years, or so. Allardyce's time at Newcastle, therefore, hasn't been successful, by any stretch of the imagination, but it hasn't been a disaster either. Off the pitch, it's going to be expensive for Newcastle. Such was their faith in him when they offered him the job that they allowed him to bring in a massive back-room staff (I've seen the number of people quoted as thirty-two). There's a good chance that the vast majority of them may have to go, too. The bill could run to tens of millions of pounds, if they were all on contracts that were several years long.

I'm inclined to think that Shearer is the ghost that Newcastle have to get out of their system. He's going to be mentioned, completely without merit, in comparison with every manager that Newcastle have until they get around to taking him on. They might be best off taking him on now and giving him until the end of the season to see if he's any good or not. I happen to think that I might already know the answer to this question, but I might be wrong, and the alternative might just turn out to be David O'Leary.

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Losing His Grip?

Tuesday, 15 January 08, 04:42 PM

There was a time when one could have regarded Alex Ferguson as being "one of us" at the top end of English football. He was the former union shop steward from Govan, the supporter that had got lucky and, as many people were very quick to tell us, he had never forgotten his socialist background. The problem with that statement, though is that it is untrue. Alex Ferguson, now the proud owner of a knighthood, has forgotten his roots, and is now nothing more than just another rich man, dining out at the Premier League trough.

If you wanted any further proof of this, it could be seen in the recent interview in the press, during which he bemoaned the atmosphere at the New Year's Day match as being like a "funeral", and also took the time to have a go at FC United and the Independent Manchester United Supporters Association for "not being the conscience" of Manchester United into the bargain. These are curious statements to come from a man so close to the centre of the Manchester United universe - a man who should really understand the dynamics of football crowds.

When, then, did Ferguson start to lose touch? Was it when he accepted the knighthood? Was it when he took the Glazer shilling and started to decry those at Old Trafford that were unhappy at the state of the modern game? Was it when he started to get involved in what looked to the casual observer like dodgy dealings involving his son acting as the agent to some younger United players? It's difficult to say, but the truth of the matter is that Ferguson has gone from being an authentic man of the people at the heart of the English game to being just another self-serving elitist, a man who now seems to think that everything should revolve around him, even to the detriment of the people that ultimately pay his wages.

The fact if the matter is that Manchester United have every single advantage that a football club could ask for. Their massive global support means that they have a constant revenue stream of merchandising money. Their name means that they are one of the few English club that can attract genuine, world-class talent. Their massive stadium means that their match day income is bigger than anyone else's in football. Their perpetual involvement in the Champions League grants them access to television, sponsorship and prize money that even the vast majority of their Premier League rivals would kill for. Rather than setting his sights on the poor unfortunates that, ultimately, pay his wages, Ferguson would be better advised to take a moment to consider why the atmosphere at Old Trafford is as bad as it is these days, and where the people that once made it such a formidable for opposing teams to visit have gone.

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The Unfortunate Torpor Of Newcastle United

Tuesday, 15 January 08, 04:37 PM

It was the strangest thing, but Salomon Kalou's clearly offside goal was so far offside that it kept Sam Allardyce in a job for the next few days or so. The press had been predicting for the last few days that defeat at Stamford Bridge would probably cost Allardyce his job, but Kalou's goal was so far offside that the press focussed on that for a few days, allowing him to postpone his date with the hangman's noose for a few more days. Unless anything enormously disastrous happens tonight against Manchester City, he'll probably still there for this weekend's FA Cup match against Stoke, and it's difficult (even considering their recent form) to see them losing that match. I'd be surprised it Allardyce goes before the end of the season. He's too stubborn to go voluntarily and, if the details of his financial package are correct, he might be too expensive to sack.

I'm not, as you may be aware, a fan of Allardyce by any stretch of the imagination. I think that the much of the praise that he won at Bolton was overstated. His Bolton team was utterly joyless to watch and, whilst I understand that small clubs will always go down the route of making themselves difficult to beat, there will always be a low boiling point in the Premier League - a boiling point at which supporters expect entertainment. Twenty years ago, Wimbledon had perfected their party piece of hitting it long and hard, playing a physical game and scaring the hell out of "better" opponents. Their supporters didn't much like it, but it got them into the top division of English football for more than a decade. These days, though, in an era of £40 match tickets and the constant hubris about the Premier League being "The Biggest And Best League In The World", it might not be enough on its own. For Sam Allardyce, the line between success and failure is a very thin one, and there is no room for error when you're at a big club and not playing exciting, attacking football. Newcastle's supporters may have a long tradition of having been "entertained" (although there is, I think a considerable amount of myth to this - Keegan's 1996 team that blew the Premier League notwithstanding, I don't think that Newcastle United have consistently played "better football" than anyone else in the country over the last forty years or so), but in the realpolitik of the modern game, realising your limitations and maximising them early on can be one of the keys to building success over a period of time.

The problem is that time is the one thing that no Premier League manager has. Unlike further down the ladder, every Premier League match counts. There's no room for error. Newcastle haven't actually been that bad this season (they're eleventh at the time of writing, above such luminaries as Tottenham Hotspur and Middlesbrough), but we already know that Allardyce won't get the two or three years that he needs to lay down his authority at St James Park and set the seal on the way that he wants things to be done. He's costing them millions and millions of pounds, and they won't tolerate two more seasons in mid-table. Fortunately, though, some of the madder elements of the Newcastle support already have a replacement for him already lined up. Alan Shearer.

It's campaigns like this which lead me to the inevitable conclusion that some football supporters deserve anything they get. Shearer is, at the time of writing, taking his coaching badges, but anyone that saw his witless half-time performance on the BBC team during the England vs Croatia match (when his contribution to the attack on McClaren's tactics seemed to be limited to complaining that the players didn't have enough - you've guessed it - "passion") will already know that, however bad Allardyce turns out to be, Shearer will be twenty times worse. Also, Shearer, who has made it more than clear that he wants the Newcastle job, hasn't made any effort to get any coaching experience over the last couple of years. So, replacing Allardyce would be ridiculously expensive and Newcastle fans would be getting someone with no managerial experience that has already demonstrated only that he has the tactical acumen of a water biscuit.

In the harsh glare of the modern football world, even the likes of Newcastle United are now light years away from the top four, and the fact of the matter is that the best that Newcastle can recently hope for in the next three to five years would be to emulate Bolton, Everton or Spurs. Regular UEFA Cup football might not sound like the most exciting thing in the world, but it must be better than whatever the vast majority of the alternatives are. Common sense, though, doesn't often intrude into the rampant egotism and unrealistic pipe dreams of the Premier League - a world in which a club with weekly 52,000 sell-out crowds and an estimated 1,000,000 supporters needs a multi-millionaire in order to secure a regular place in the top ten.

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Six Great Football Competitions

Wednesday, 12 December 07, 03:41 PM

So, I was sitting at home last night watching the Champions League match between OM and Liverpool, and the thought finally came to me. Who cares about this? Seriously. Who gives a damn about it? The Champions League is now so debased, so much of a mis-match that Liverpool, the fourth placed team in England (by fairly common assent) , can stroll through the group phases, winning matches as if they are pre-season friendlies. Never mind the fact that they put in two of the worst performances I've ever seen in this competition (proving at a stroke why the big clubs like this mini-group format so much - it removes so much of the element of chance), OM were so wretched last night that one got the feeling that even ITV, having spent a good half an hour hyping the match up as a "do or die night for heroes", were slightly embabrrassed at how easy it was for them yet again.

One wonders how long, in a global community with multi-channel digital access, how long UEFA, the big clubs and the televisions companies will be able to continue to pass off this charade as "premium entertainment". It's not football as most of us understand it. It's not a competition. This year's group stage has been a drawn out series of grindingly tedious Harlem Globetrotters exhibition matches. One could be forgiven that the "surprise" results have occurred have been deliberately placed to startle the viewing audience into waking up. They might as well have done, for all the difference that they've made to who has gone through. Sky Sports are so desperate that they're trying to hype up tonight's Sevilla-Arsenal match as being "The Battle For Top Place In The Group". Lord, give me strength. In view of the fact that, as in the Premier League, there is no competition in the Champions League any more, here are six genuinely great football competitions.

1. Copa Libertadores: Vast, sprawling and mad, La Copa Libertadores is, of course, the South American equivalent of the Champions League, and it has everything that you'd want the Champions League to have. You'd expect Brazil and Argentina to have dominated it, but it's worth pointing out that eleven different countries have provided winners to it. Boca have won it four times in the last seven years but other recent winners have included Olimpia of Paraguay, Once Caldas of Colombia and Colo Colo of Chile. It starts in January and runs until June, and promises to be as great as ever this year.

2. The Championship: Forget about the Premier League. If you want a tight, competitive league in which anyone can beat anybody else and in which more than half of the teams in the division are likely to be in with at least the whiff of a chance of getting promoted, The Championship is the only place to look. The myth that there is a gap between it and the bottom of the Premier League is slowly debunked (it's Derby's stupid fault if they choose not to spend any of the money that they get from promotion and spend the wholse of the next twelve months as national laughing stocks), with a number of Premier League clubs having been relegated and not finding it as easy as they thought they would. Just ask Sheffield United about that. All this and, at the end of the season, it hosts its own cup final when the play-off final finishes off the domestic season.

3. The Isthmian League: Somehow, it's easier to laugh at football leagues when you call them by their sponsors' names, so we'll eschew the word "Ryman" in favour of the league's official name. The Isthmian League was a gateway to the Conference until 2004 but, since the restructuring of non-league football and the introduction of the Conference North and Conference South, it has slipped oneplace down the pecking order. It is, therefore, perhaps surprising that the 2007/08 season finds it in rude health. The three divisions (Premier Division, Division One North and Division One South) are all highly competitive, crowds are up and it is jam-packed with clubs that were once big in non-league circles and are fighting their way back such as Chelmsford City and Dartford, as well as those that have be re-born (AFC Wimbledon, Maidstone United, AFC Hornchurch and Enfield Town), and grand old names from the game's amateur past such as Dulwich Hamlet, Tooting & Mitcham United and Hendon.

4. La Coupe De France: The French equivalent has one feature that the FA Cup would do well to adopt. No seeding. Everyone is drawn in together and, with a bit of luck, clubs from the nether regions of French football can enjoy a run to the latter stages of the competition. The final, played at the Stade de France, is an annual sell-out of 80,000 people - unlike the messy, distended end to the season that we have in England, it acts as a fitting end-piece to their domestic season.

5. The Bundesliga: The Bundesliga is the most accessbile top division football in Europe. Not only do the German authorities have a refreshingly progressive attitude to safe standing (most German clubs that play in Europe have terracing for their league matches which they then convert to seating for European matches), but ticket prices show up the Premier League as the rip-off that it is. The recent World Cup updated many of Germany's older stadia, and the crowds are as big as anywhere else in Europe. Also, Germany is the only other country in Europe with anything like the strength in depth that English football has - once famous names such as Borussia Monchengladbach, Carl Jeiss Jena, 1FC Kaiserslautern, 1FC Koln, FC St Pauli and 1860 Munchen currently grace the second division of the Bundesliga.

6. The World Cup: Forget all the hype that the press tries to force down your throat. The World Cup is where the real international action is.

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Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Tuesday, 11 December 07, 12:48 PM

Last weekend, to a sigh of relief from this little corner of Brighton that might just have been audible in China, Arsenal and Liverpool lost. This wasn't merely schadenfreude. I was starting to worry that one (or indeed both) of these teams might go the whole of the season unbeaten, and there was something pleasing about the fact that they both conspired to lose against decidedly mediocre opposition, in the form of Reading and Middlesbrough. What has been interesting to see, however, has been the howling of the media in the aftermath of these defeats. For clubs of the insane size of Liverpool and Arsenal, defeat is no longer something that merely "happens" several times every season. It's now a matter of crisis that teams like Reading or Middlesbrough, who only pay their players £20,000 per week, can have the temerity to turn up for matches, not read the script and outplay and out-think them for ninety minutes.

This can be seen in a broader context in the supposed "pressure" that Rafael Benitez is under at Liverpool. Never mind that he has taken Liverpool to two European Cup finals in three years, making him their most successful manager since Bob Paisley (and, in that respect, it doesn't really matter that they haven't won the Premier League title - in an economic sense, there are effectively four Premier League titles now, one for for each team that gets to feed at the Champions League trough). He has dared to criticise the board, saying that the money that he was promised for new players hasn't been forthcoming, and now he needs to win every single match that Liverpool play or the insane speculation that his job is on the line starts again. The back page of this morning's "Metro" has a headline about Benitez having to win in Marseille tonight if he wants to keep his job. This Liverpool team might not be good enough to win the European Cup or the Premier League this season, but to say that he under pressure after his team's defeat of the season in the middle of December is, of course, ridiculous.


As ever in modern football, though, it's not about what is going on on the pitch. It's all about the poilitics. Liverpool, this time last year, had a failrly manageable debt (in the region of £70-80m). As soon as Gillette and Hicks got involved, because this is a leveraged buy-out, in which the club effectively pays for its own take-over, that debt at least trebles. Not only that, though - they've also promised to build the club a new stadium at a cost of at least £300m (and possibly closer to twice that amount), and the new owners don't seem terrible interested in their putting their own hands in their pockets. All of this contrasts interestingly with Arsenal. They were just as bad as Liverpool in losing at Middlesbrough last Sunday, and their manager hasn't brought them their holy grail of the European Cup yet, either. However, Arsene Wenger is about as unsackable as it is possible for a football manager to be (even more so, I would argue, than Alex Ferguson). The contrast can be seen most clearly in the ongoing aspiration of Alisher Usmanov to take over at the Emirates Stadium - David Dein would most likely be Usmanov's "front man" in the event of a successful take-over, largely on the basis of the one thing that he can say that he did. He was the man that brought Arsene Wenger to London.

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There's No Business Like Snow Business

Sunday, 11 February 07, 03:49 AM

The other evening, in the interests of research, I was flicking through some old "Roy Of The Rovers" annuals. In one of them, there was a four page photo-spread called "No-Man's Land", about the winter of the 1981-82 season, when a blanket of snow fell across Britain. What do I remember most vividly about that winter? Well, quite a few matches were called off. More often than not, the featured match on "Match Of The Day" involved Manchester City, because they were the only club with under-soil heating which actually worked. Quite a few matches, however, were played on pitches covered in snow. They just cleared the grass around the lines, dusted down the luminous orange ball, and made them get on with it. I distinctly remember a match played that winter between Nottingham Forest and Birmingham City that was played on a pitch that resembled Captain Scott's base camp at the Antarctic. Forget about dogs on the pitch - it wouldn't have been completely out a place if a penguin had waddled into the penalty area at some point in the second half.

Simliarly, the concept of the "frozen pitch" is a relatively new one. I have on DVD the highlights of a match between Aston Villa and Liverpool from about 1984, which was one of the first live league matches shown in Britain, and was played on a completely flat and completely frozen pitch. Ian Rush scored a magnificent hat-trick - largely because he was the only player on the pitch that had mastered the fact that the ball was bouncing three times as high as normal. I'm almost certainly alone in thinking that players should be sent out, regardless of the conditions. There's no greater joy than a match played on a clearly water-logged pitch. Forget about all the cliches about things being a great leveller - there's only one real leveller, and that's a pitch covered in enormous puddles, that makes players slip and slide around like drunken ballerinas. The look of surprise on a player's face when he kicks the ball into a puddle and it stops moving is an interesting insight into the intellect of the average professional footballer. They should send them out there in snorkels and flippers, and leave them to get on with it. There is a consensus within the modern game that nothing should detract from "the spectacle". Nothing should detract from the homogenised, family-friendly, Sky Sports-approved version of football. You know what I mean. It's the version that you see every single week of the year.

The thing is, though, it's not what we all want. Sometimes, I want something un-photogenic, messy and chaotic. I get as much pleasure from seeing a football falling flat on his arse as I do from seeing a flowing ten pass move finished off with a volley into the top corner. There is this creeping orthodoxy within football, and I don't much like it. I'd like to see a return to the days of frozen, snow covered pitches, with luminous orange balls and players scooting around with their knowledge of how a football reacts to gravity shot to pieces.

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