I don't write on here very often, but I felt compelled to bring this to the attention of anyone who hasn't heard (this would be the kind of person who doesn't listen to national radio or read national newspapers but does read obscure blogs).

DAVID BECKAM HAS SIGNED FOR ARSENAL 

The only catch is that he is only here for a month. And he won't play a match. And he's actually signed squat. He's here to get his fitness up for the forthcoming England match against..... I've forgotten but it doesn't really matter does it. He might also want to see what the current Arsenal magic is all about, but its more likely that its because London Colney is the nearest Premiership training ground to 'Beckingham Palace'. 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/sport/football.html?in_article_id=506100&in_page_id=1779

Last summer we went through the usual performance of hyping England's chances of a second glorious world cup victory. Some clever dickie noticed that it was forty years since we last won it and that we really should have a real go of winning it this time. Unfortunately no one told told Sven and co so we crashed out on penalties feeling a bit silly.

 We English like to have someone to blame for our problems so we wasted no time in searching for a culprit. Sven was the obvious target, so obvious in fact that he had already announced he was going to step down after the tournament because he was tired of the pressure of the British media (best thing the News of the World ever did). After being out witted by Sven we all turned on the next big face of the team- the captain. However Becks was one step ahead of us (being no stranger to press hate campaigns after world cups) and he stepped down as captain and went to Spain and hid. It seems not even Cappello has been able to find him this season but thats another story.

We as the public were now baffled. We had no scapegoat and we needed one. Then we all realised, how about the Johnny foreigners who had the discurticy and sheer rudeness to beat us- The Portugese. It was all there fault. It was even there fault that our star player stupidly got himself sent off. He was betrayed by his Manchester United teammate and friend (well he might have been) who did exactly what Rooney would have done had the roles been reversed and complained to the referee. Rooney was then sent off and we, the public had our hate figure                Cristiano Ronaldo (or as my friend calls him 'that winking...diving.......arrgh!')

I would consider myself to be one of the more sensible members of the public. I've never read the daily star for instance. And I was quick to point out that if Rooney hadn't decided to stomp on Carvalho then there wouldn't have been a problem in the first place. Therefore I was fully up for forgiving the prince of the stepover, except for one thing........ that WINK ('that winking...diving.......arrgh!'). It embodied everything I hate about the modern footballer. It proved beyond any doubt that he had intentionally tryed to manipulate the ref and of course he had succeded.

As it turned out I wasn't the only one who was a bit miffed by Ronaldo's antics ('that winking...diving.......arrgh!') and the press too started a hate campaign (well it wasn't quite a hate campaign, it was more like a campaign of mild disgruntlement). Even United supporters were torn as to whether to side with Ro or Ro.

There is so much to about Ronaldo that annoys me. I hate his greaced back hair with its stupid highlights. I hate his ear ring. I hate his girly step overs. I hate how girls swoon over him (that one admittedly could be down to a problem of my own, jealousy). I could go on. And why not. I'm not busy. I hate his extreme confidence (bordering on arrogance) and self assurance, pesonafied by that wink('that winking...diving.......arrgh!').

All in all I'm not his greatest fan. However when he gets onto the pitch I can't look away (and its not because of his hair). His dribbling is mesmeric. He has the same air of Ronaldinho at his best when you don't actually believe that it is possible to tackle him. it feels like he could take on the whole opposition team. Some other United player described him as the best player in the world and for once I didn't retort 'What about Henry?' straight away. No I waited a couple of seconds and then said it. But even so from me thats a sign of respect ('that winking...diving.......arrgh!').