The US versus Trinidad Tobago Qualifier. Just a few thoughts:

Well, it's not even halftime, but I'll edit/finish this at the end of the game if I deem it appropiate.

 First, Tim Howard: He's touched the ball once. But he's 1 for 1, so cheers to him.

The defense: Really haven't done much. No complaints, though I'm sure if the other team weren't made of feathers I'd be piping mad at the nonsense that is American tackling.

Midfield:

Beasley. What are you doing? Why are playing like such an old man? I guess you are. 26 years is really hard when you've lived like you have eh? Ok, I understand you were injured. But you're not 35. Inzaghi can put in more than you have and he's 76.

Bradley. I like you. But so far your Dad's an idiot. Why isn't he getting Adu and Altidore adjusted to the team? I know they're both young, but they'll be pretty developed by 2010. Why not go ahead and do it? Especially as long as we're playing feathered teams like TT. Next time you're at the dinner table go ahead and put your foot down. He'll still love you. You're his son.

Donovan. I'm actually really hopeful to see you as an older player. Less of the shit attitude hopefully? And not as much speed to rely on. So you're going to have to use that vision and creativity you've got. I know you have it, underneath the layers and layers of pigslop you've put on yourself. You might want to put your teammate Beckham on suicide watch now that Walcott's taken his place. 

 Forwards: I've got nothing for you. I just want Jozy. Well that's not true. If you're going to be playing stop being so damn lazy.  If we have the ball near the 18, make some effing runs. Don't just stand there with your mouths open trying to catch flies out of the TT's hair. Seriously. Why are you guys so effing lazy?

I'm gone for a month. No contact with the outside world. Which is awesome, no more daily hunts for any bit of news, no more trash about Ade being a greedy big-headed player, no more waiting for the day Hleb is signed away from us. Just a world of surprise waiting me as I return just days before opening day.

Things I hope to see this season:

Trohpies. Ronaldo's absence. A Cesc captaincy. Almunia losing his place to Fabianski. Fabianski earning his spot over Almunia. Walcott scoring. Cesc Scoring. Nasri scoring. Screw hoping to see RVP score, I just want to see him play. A robot Rosicky that doesn't break. Who Wenger chooses to take Flamster's spot. Never being so down our roster that I have to see Senderos play (I love you dude, but you're not really Arsenal. Or black. You don't fit in our defense). David Villa in an Arsenal Jersey (I didn't say they had to be reasonable eh?). Walcott scoring. No Eboue (Wow. I almost forgot about him. I wish he'd stay forgotten). No more absent minded defender moments. Roman Abramovich losing all his money and Chelsea collapsing. Nike apologizing for the new home kits they gave us. Walcott scoring.

 I mean. He is wearing 14.

kthnxbye see you opening day. 

In my opinion? Peter Crouch. He might not always score, but from what I've seen he's consistently good on the ball and consistently draws defenders, opening everything up at least a little bit.

Could anyone tell me why I'm wrong or no one wants him or will play him?

And if you think anyone's more underrated. Please let me know, it'll be fun!

US versus England friendly, and my thoughts on it. This is a very long post. I have 19 years to speak my mind about. Apologies.

I apologize in advance for saying "soccer" instead of football. When I say football for "soccer" over here people look at me like I'm some pretentious foreigner. (Because, you know all foreigners are pretentious. Especially when they come visit the Good ol' south.)

Boy do both teams need some work. One team has no stars and plays some freaking painful soccer. The other team has plenty of stars, and in comparison, is much prettier. But damn was it an ugly game.

First. Us. I don't even really know where to start (Really, I don't. First blog ever. Doubt anyone will read this shite anyway). Props on going to Wembley to play. Much better than dicking around like we have been against our hemisphere. If we really wanna be any presence in the World Cup we need to start playing against some World Teams. On their turf. You can't find a scarier pitch than Wembley.

Has the US team always been this ugly? Or maybe after a year of watching beautiful soccer my tolerance for miserable excuses for performance has dropped significantly. Regardless something needs to be changed. Many things actually.

The US's defense is. Non-existent. Every time England came on the attack what I saw looked more like a Cricket game than any sort of defense. Throw every last one of them out. Well, not quite. I like Onyewu. He's big and seems to have somewhat of a head on those 6'4" shoulders. I somewhat liked Hedjuk, he seemed to be a little more calm when he had pressure on him, maybe some more technical practice to keep some of those awful balls out. Then I learned he was 33. Chuck him.

Bocanegra? Not going anywhere. Chuck him. Pearce? The same. Cherundolo's playing and decision making is as stupid as his name. Who taught these kids to play to? We're the only team I've ever watched who will just give up the throw in every time without even really fighting. Boca had a chest trap he could have booted up-field but instead he just let it go out. Terrible. And the tackling? Not physical unless it was stupid (foul physical). No sense of where on the pitch they were when they went in kind of like a floppy fish. Gave up dangerous penalties that gave up goals.

In short: Throw everyone except Onyewu out. Get a commanding no non-sense player to keep them in-line and focus. And get not shite players.

The midfield. Never really seem to got it together. I'm not really sure if they ever have, but if they do, there's somewhat of a promise. Dempsey will never be a world class player. It's ok, the US won't be World Class this year. But it'd be nice to make it past group stage. He's got some creativity, and a little bit of skill to go with. At only 25, he could still yet be a driving force for the US team. Bradley? Please yes. Another player that has hope. And at this point that's all the US can have. Hope. He's only 20, has potential. Ship him overseas ASAP! Don't let him die in the black-hole that is the shit-kicking fest of the MLS.

Beasley and Clark I don't really have much to say on. I only wish Lewis weren't old.

Wolff and Johnson? Scrap. Should have let Adu play the entire game. Go ahead and give him the experience. It's not like he can't compete at that level. He's easily the best touch on the American team. The more int'l caps he gets against big teams the better. And play Altidore! Yea he's young but he's better than Wolff and Johnson. Give him a taste of not shit-kicking. Give him the desire to go overseas and challenge himself. Then let him come back and give us a fighting chance.

That was really long. I'm sorry. Quick thoughts on England.

I don't know. For a team that should be stellar, they're 100% mediocre. On the field the play looks as nappy as Drogba's hair. 

Drop Lampard. Good on paper, good in spots, stagnant on the field. If a statue could kick a ball you could slap a jersey on the back of him. Even so, Beckham should come off way before Lampard. Barry is where it's at. And why the hell did you put Gerrard out on the left? Hargreaves would fit better there I would feel.

(Theo. Theo. Theo.)

Last but not least. I hate American announcers more than I hate armadillos. Which is a lot.