jjodf

Audi seats and all that...

2008-04-29 18:09:17

So here we are then, a week on from the frankly cruel tease that was the nil all draw in the Nou Camp (Camp Nou, feckin massive stadium in Barcelona or whatever it’s called), the real semi final happens now with enough drama to keep everyone on the edge of the seats. In Alex Ferguson’s case it will be the edge of those rather expensive looking Audi seats at Old Trafford which look rather comfortable.

What will be less comfortable altogether is United at 0-0, United at 1-0, or even United at 2-1. You suspect if Barcelona get one tonight, they’ll get two (I’ve never heard so many predictions of 2-2 from different people about one game for instance), but you’d suspect that in an open game United are liable to score anywhere between one and five.

In short, it should be game of the season and we all hope it will be. I think Henry should start for Barcelona for one as his pace caused problems last week and his obvious desire to prove himself in front English fans and media is a huge incentive. Essentially it’s to feed his massively inflated ego – as was his embarrassing whore job on Football Focus earlier this week saying he would only come back to Arsenal when just one year ago he said he’d never leave the club. Kiss that badge Mr Henry! And a whore job in the same room as Garth Crooks no less... eeeeewwwwww.

I have the suspicion with Terry Henry that one of two things will happen – he will score the goal to get Barcelona through or he will miss the chance that leads to them being knocked out. Either option has its merits.

As for United ‘unravelling’, it’s telling to actually see some of the press conferences that journalists use for their columns. Daniel Taylor said Ferguson had gone into rant mode with his “disaster” speech when in fact I just thought it was the man’s naturally odd sense of humour coming to the fore. Yes, he’s made strange decisions of late but to question his judgement overall is idiotic. He’s won too much and stuck the knife into too many sides (and journalists) over the years to care what anybody thinks.

Losing away to Chelsea has no shame attached to it, neither does a draw away at Barcelona and another away at Blackburn (when they should have won 4-1 at least had Brad Friedel not turned into some bald Superman) – and that’s whether the strongest or weakest sides are on the pitch. United will still win the league, as for tonight… weighing everything up… I’ll go for, well 2-2.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Quick note.... Sven being sacked=disaster for City.
Later folks, JJ

‘Maybe there is more to life than playing, really, really, really, good football’

2008-04-15 15:59:31

There is only one place to start today – no not United being champions elect or anything to do with Chelsea but instead I’ll start with this oddly mesmerising image of the ‘Wengerbus’. Truly magnificent and the full glory is here. I hate Zoolander but for giving us this, the $50 million budget was worth it.

Anyway, back to matters sporting, and where to really start today… Avram Grant hanging on by a thread, Rafa Benitez supposedly heading off in the summer or Ronaldo being worth more than £100 million according to Carlos ‘rejected Bond bad guy’ Queiroz. In the crescendo that is the end of the season we have talks over who’s going where, how much money will be spent in the process and all of this goes on for the next three months.

In many papers’ minds, and with most sane individuals, the title race is over after Chelsea’s abject display yesterday which didn’t merit three points. All that’s left now is mathematical confirmation and a few commemorative pull outs from the more excitable tabloids. Hats off to Steve Bruce (good god that’s a difficult few words to write) for making some telling substitutions and bigger, novelty-size hats off to Chris Kirkland for keeping Chelsea at bay whenever they threatened… he didn’t even get injured in the process, what a guy.

As myself and Mark alluded to in last week’s podcast, were Chelsea to actually win the league it would remain one of life’s biggest mysteries for generations to come. Brutal football, complete boardroom turmoil and to be fair to Grant, some unfortunate injuries to key players. How could they do it?

What will be left after their failure in the league is the feeling that Mourinho’s Chelsea would’ve taken this title race by the scruff of the neck and won it; and while the Portugeezer’s demeanour in his latter days as Chelsea boss suggests that might not automatically be true, it will ring of truth in enough ears to send Grant packing come late May.

I’d suspect even a Champions League win would be ‘rewarded’ with a promotion upstairs within the club, a prospect that Grant wouldn’t fight either. So as Chelsea search for a new manager, the turmoil at Anfield will continue and I honestly think Benitez will go this summer to Real Madrid, Barcelona or possibly Inter Milan. I still believe his first choice is to stay at Liverpool but why should he at this stage? Another season of league mediocrity, which is the most likely outcome of him staying next year anyway, would only see his reputation damaged.

Right now, he has a huge profile around Europe and a very decent managerial record. The funny thing is that only three months ago it was the fans who wanted him out, but the truth of football is that decisions are always made in the boardroom rather than the terraces, no matter how many protests there are.

Elsewhere, Quieroz’s claims over Ronaldo’s worth are correct – the guy is so valuable to the club through the on the pitch performances and off the pitch revenue, they could never sell him. With 37 goals this year, only he could force a move and why would he at this stage? It may be that a few years down the line we’re looking at a Ronaldinho situation of a guy who has fallen out of love with the club but if that doesn’t happen, it’s hard to see United losing a stranglehold on the Premier League and possibly Europe.

Considering how flaky the rest of the big four have been of late, whether on the pitch or off, the happy house that is Old Trafford will continue to dominate and Fergie may well laugh into that glass of fine Bordeaux. Even with the mediocre performances of late that Mark mentioned yesterday, they’re still untouchable. Ah feck it, let's look at the Wengerbus again.

Bizarro team of the season so far

2008-03-04 11:55:11

Considering the fact that the PFA tend to ballot their members in November over who should get player of the season, I don’t feel too much guilt the idea of giving out a preliminary bizarro team of the season. The bizarro concept comes originally from Superman, became a brilliant idea on Seinfeld and is far more fun than picking a team of the season so far.

In bizarro world people say goodbye when they greet someone and hello when they leave; so you can pretty much guess I’m going for the side that will be so far away from the team of the season that it’ll be a surprise if they’re still professional footballers come June, never mind winning accolades and shiny new contracts.

1. Steven Bywater: Derby are an awful side but they were never helped by a truly brutal keeper. Will be remembered with the same awe and respect as that Swindon keeper I can’t remember from a decade ago. So, not remembered then. Brutal.

2. Stephen Carr: Grumpy, out of form, overrated for a good five years now and no longer playing for Ireland. Not a good man in a scrap these days Keggy.

3. John Arne Riise: A truly poor season thus far for the Norwegian who used up all his decent goals this year in the pre-season friendlies. Not the worst left back in the league, but certainly the one who has underperformed more than any other.

4. Martin Taylor: The Brum defender will be the subject of plenty of ‘where are they now’ articles in the coming years. He was a journey man up until this season and will go back to that soon enough you’d have to think.

5. Darren Leacock. For this headband alone. Eric Young would turn in his grave were he actually dead and not merely on ebay.

6. Joey Barton (captain): The fulcrum of the side, Barton would hold this motley crew together were it not for a few court dates getting in the way of team bonding. He will never win any awards voted for by other players, the general public or in fact any popularity contest whatsoever. Newcastle of course will make sure he never wins an actual trophy as well

7. Stilian Petrov: One of the few blemishes within Villa’s frankly annoying rise up the table. Generally, he looks like a timid music prodigy thrown into a game being played at a home for young offenders.

8. Steve Sidwell: Money grabbing ginge. Hello West Ham next season then. “I just wanted regular football… and eh, the signing on fee as well obviously.”

9. Anthony Stokes: Partyboy himself. Banned from a local nightclub to ensure he stayed a good boy, he’s been stuck on the left wing for most of the season looking fierce bitter altogether. Accusations of pampered Irish stars aren’t just in our heads people.

10. Diomansy Kamara: One of Lawrie Sanchez’s luxury buys in the summer has done nothing for his new side and is greeted with moans of derision whenever introduced at Craven Cottage. A Championship striker for a Championship club, so next season at Fulham will suit him just fine.

11. Antonio Valencia: Continually lauded by Paul Jewell, this fella obviously has talent but doesn’t seem to fancy showing it off at Wigan. Though, yeah trying to show class at Wigan is a tad difficult. Just look at Steve Bruce’s shirts.

Later, JJ

Second Team Syndrome

2008-02-27 13:32:44

JJ here,

How we all arrive at the team we support tends to have its root in some childhood decision and can quite often lead to years of hurt. I know Everton, Wimbledon and Luton fans that all began supporting their side after moments of glory in the eighties only to suffer flirtations with relegation, actual relegation and financial collapse respectively in the years since.

But they’ve soldiered on (though the Dons fan now supports Wimbledon AFC – the offshoot club who started up after Wimbledon were renamed MK Dons) and in the case of the Everton supporter things are certainly looking up.

The decision we all have control over though is the oddity that is our ‘second team’. This tends to be a side that you just take a liking to later in life, watch out for their results and generally hope they do well. Sometimes they’re foreign, often in Ireland it’s Celtic and very often it’s not even a side that plays good football. One fella I remember from school supported Oldham as his second side during their halcyon period in the Premiership back in the early-to-mid nineties. He didn’t quite have the stomach to support them when they dropped down a few divisions and that’s what separates the team you actually support from the one you choose to like. There’s no commitment, it’s just a passing fad, but an enjoyable one nonetheless.

With Oldham, it was just that this usually shit club on the outskirts of Manchester had a certain charm to them for a while; for those with short memories, even Bolton had this air for a short period when they first came up; before Fat Sam opened his gob a bit too much and turned everyone off. It doesn’t have to be a struggling team either, as everyone’s positive reaction to Spurs’ victory on Sunday proved, and indeed I know one Man United fan who happily admits to Arsenal being his second side.

Meanwhile, most of Ireland waits anxiously for Sunderland’s results every week because we all loved Roy Keane so much. The logic is often scattershot and the affection is generally fleeting but like an alcoholic locked in a pub for the evening, we’ll just never know when to say when.

So after that meandering intro here’s a few sides that might just qualify as a decent ‘second team’ for this particular fleeting moment in time…

Boro: Controversial one here as ODF fans of old will know that myself and Mark have said that Gareth Southgate’s side were simply pointless in the past. However, as the season has gone on they’ve scored some cracking goals and have some genuinely good footballers in Downing, Alves, Arca and Boateng amongst others.

Spurs: Obvious one, though just thought I’d warn all that this time next year – after Magic Juande has opened that rumoured ‘war chest’, he starts talking to the media in English and the player’s get genuine ambition – they’ll be just as disliked as ever.

Wigan: Just to not be a run of the mill Blunderland supporter why not get on the Wigan bandwagon? Antonio Valencia’s barmy army. You know you love it.

Rangers: Just to annoy every Celtic fan in Ireland. Brian Laudrup was way better than Henrik Larsson anyway (cue plenty of abuse)

Queens Park Rangers: Richest club in the world… kinda. Get behind them before they become the new Chelsea and even if they don’t it should be an entertaining few years at Loftus Road so why not start keeping an eye on them now and getting a seventies jersey while you’re at it.

Any other suggestions?

Victory, Champions League and Dublinese

2008-02-18 21:07:53

Heya folks, belated start to our blogs on what will be a busy week for fuhbal as it’s pronounced in certain corners of Dublin. Considering I’m a Pool fan it’ll be fairly obvious that tomorrow’s game is required viewing, in fact it’s required viewing with a Guinness in one hand, toasted sandwich in the other and voice screaming like a mad lunatic at silly little men in red on a TV screen who can’t hear me. The way god meant it to be.

It’s been an odd week all round with some negative feedback balanced with a stunning late victory over at Soccerlens. Ever forward though and let’s get on to tomorrow’s games.

Liverpool v Inter Milan: Is it just me of does it seem that many a Liverpool player as well plenty of the fans now think that the way of Rafa is the wrong direction? Alonso has stuttered for two and a half seasons – admittedly with several injuries – under the man who bought him to be the fulcrum of Liverpool’s midfield (remember Gerrard was five minutes away from being a Chelsea player when Benitez brought in Alonso). Babel too is looking a little bit sick of being used sparingly. Elsewhere, Carragher is just plain out of form, while John Arne Riise not only seems to be at odds with his manager’s directions but also any train of rational thought for a defender.

However, as Riise’s pay slip proves, these guys earn a hell of a lot of money to be professional about things and despite all the negatives going into this match I don’t see Liverpool losing against the Italian champions. Not in this leg anyway; though I can see a potent performance coming from the Nerazurri on the 11th of March at the San Siro. A date that may well, for better or worse, mark the end of the Benitez era.

Olympiakos v Chelsea: Chelsea have to be amongst the favourites for this competition. Just look at their frontline – Shevchenko looks at home during Champions League games while Drogba thrives on the big occasion and Nicolas Anelka is eager to prove a point to fans across Europe. Throw in Joe Cole, Michael Essien and a fantastic defence and you’ve a shithot squad. It won’t be an easy first leg but Chelsea will stroll this one.

Roma v Real Madrid: Having watched a fair bit of Real Madrid in the last year I have to say that generally they bore the hell out of me. Yes, that’s coming from a Liverpool supporter but hey I watch Spanish football to escape the dross that is served up at Anfield on a regular basis. One thing Real are at this time though is clinical, and they should get an away goal here. With Roma pretty much assured a Champions League spot in the league though, they could go for broke tomorrow night and get a result. Above all else let’s hope for a few goals to make a decent second leg of it.

Schalke 04 v FC Porto: I haven’t a notion of what will happen here. Just channelling my inner Lawro… 1-1.

And now to finish, this isn’t big, this isn’t clever but here’s proof that cursing did exist in Ireland before Okeydokefootball. It’s da fookin short version of The Commitments. And on that bombshell, later folks and a big thanks to everyone who voted for us over at Soccerlens. Ave it!!!

Bullshit Ahoy! No wait, come back!

2008-02-12 14:45:17

Those of you who don’t live in Ireland will surely have heard of RTE pundit Eamonn Dunphy at this stage. He’s the guy who called Niall Quinn a creep on air; he’s pissed off every Irish manager in my lifetime and changes his opinions on Arsenal and Man United without batting an eyelid. He’s the guy who said Alex Ferguson had reached the end of his reign in 2005 and that they wouldn’t contend for the Premier League last season. Then a few months ago talked about how Ferguson was the fulcrum of a “special club” who don’t react to knee-jerk press reactions after a bad performance.

He also claimed that Sven Goran Eriksson and Garth Crooks had a little more than an interviewer/interviewee relationship. But in amongst a lot of hyperbole, he makes a lot of sense too.

Gerard Houllier for instance, was seen as a football incompetent long before any of his peers; he saw that Ruud Gullit was a “spoofer”; that Brian Kerr’s paranoia was affecting the players; that over-rated players like Gerrard, Lampard, Beckham, Ferdinand and even Henry were more hype than substance and was more than prepared to stand over these views. In short, between the nonsense and the sense, there is a little bit of a national treasure there and certainly one who makes RTE’s Champions League nights far more interesting than Jamie Redknapp and the rest of the guff brigade at Sky and ITV.

Of course many of you will have heard of Dunphy from his work on Roy Keane’s autobiography; a solid read but one great big wasted opportunity in my opinion. I read an article by the superb Paul Kimmage some time back that told of how Dunphy had (if I remember correctly) barely looked at the transcripts of his interviews with Keane with only about six weeks left to his publisher’s deadline. If memory serves correct, someone had been hired to transcribe the tapes as well, something which can definitely create problems for a writer when trying to decide how a book should flow.

Kimmage, who produced an excellent autobiography of Tony Cascarino a few years back (though Cascarino’s propensity for spinning tales makes you take a lot of what is said with a pinch of salt), also wanted to write Keane’s book and had informal chats with him about doing so. Personally, I think Kimmage or several other journalists would have done a better job considering what an interesting subject Keane was at the time and still is today.

A few years down the line and Dunphy is obviously not so under Keane’s thumb as he once was. This week, during a radio interview he called the Sunderland manager a ‘bullshitter’ who should concentrate on his job instead of getting involved in things that didn’t concern him. Again, it’s most likely Dunphy’s attempt at proving he’s no one’s puppet and he also clearly desires to be as controversial as possible as often as he can.

The full rant reads as follows: “I know Roy well and the one thing he hated when I knew him and when we were working on that book, he hated the bullshit that was part of manager-speak and part of player-speak. And now he holds these lengthy press conferences every week in which he anoints David O’Leary to be the next Ireland manager, anoints Terry Venables as the next Ireland manager, he’s talked about the Cork GAA dispute, talked about how wonderful it is for the Premier League to play more games abroad and he’s just become rent-a-quote. And it’s quite extraordinary. This is a sharp, smart, outstanding human being and he’s just been sucked into that awful Premier League vacuousness and it’s sad to see Roy Keane bullshitting, but he is. But there you go. It happens.”

Keane’s press conferences have become a regular fixture on Sky Sports and BBC certainly, but it’s not due to bullshit and easy headlines alone. It’s more to do with his propensity to actually talk about topics that other managers won’t touch. He’ll talk about other people’s players; he’ll talk about other managers and he’ll talk about things that have absolutely nothing to do with Sunderland. It’s great, why not upset the apple cart; why not piss off everyone else in the league. Frankly, this time around I think Dunphy has got the wrong end of the stick.

The RTE man is surely aware that Keane gets asked some of the most inane questions known to man each week. Sky, BBC and local radio reporters want quick, easy quotes for unchallenging stories that are lapped up by most. But Keane, unlike most, complicates matters for his own entertainment as much as anything.

So far in the Premier League’s history it seems that only the Corkman and the genius of Gordan Strachan have ever tried to subvert the interviews with some sense and a little humour. ‘Gordon can we have a quick word’, one Sky hack asked the Scotsman while he was in charge of Southampton. ‘Velocity’ he replied and walked up the tunnel. His chat about yoghurts nearing their sell by date troubling him more than player injuries was also a classic.

And indeed, so was this exchange…

Reporter: Welcome to Southampton Football Club. Do you think you are the right man to turn things around?
Strachan: No. I was asked if I thought I was the right man for the job and I said, "No, I think they should have got George Graham because I'm useless."

In amongst the guff that Keane has to tell reporters, like Strachan, he provides the odd gem on players bringing in milk, Craig Gordon’s hairstyle and Dwight Yorke enjoying a good ride… on a bicycle that is.

Dunphy, like myself and Mark, has perhaps found that this Champions League-less period of the season makes it damn harder to come up with decent things to write about (and yes if you think this post is a bunch of shite, I get the irony).

Most likely, in a few weeks time, if Sunderland get closer to guaranteeing safety in the league, Dunphy will once again be singing from the rooftops about Keane. I suppose there are just certain times when you shouldn’t take what the manager or the journalist say very seriously at all.

But, despite Eamo's faults, there is never a time when this doesn’t deserve to be watched again.

Later, JJ

PS: We’re recording the podcast tomorrow night so we’ll be online on Thursday morning. If you haven’t voted by the way, and you happen to like our podcast, can you give us the nod for 'Best Football Podcast' over at Soccerlens. We’re in a royal rumble for the title so get your friends, their friends and people you barely know to vote for us. Cheers.

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Stantastic Logic at Work

2008-02-04 23:03:53

"I'm the boss, I'm the gaffer and at the end of the day what I say goes." Steve Staunton. Fool of a gaffer.

Well I hope y’all have underfloor heating cos it looks like hell just froze over. Does that even make sense? To be honest, I don’t care, because in a world where Steve Staunton can find a new job nothing makes sense. Leeds United fans if you thought the club had seen lows before – relegation, fish tank controversies, Brian Deane, Dennis ‘OompaLoompaLumpityDoo’ Wise – today truly proves that if there is a god then he hates you. He really hates you. He hates you so much that Stan is your new assistant manager. A horrible fate indeed.

Stan has made himself very busy today; fresh from getting his first job in club management that stretched beyond lining up cones and giving out bibs, he’s started to slag off possible new Irish manager Giovanni Trapattoni. Plenty of news outlets have centered on the differences in both men’s management records (Trapattoni’s fantastic; Stan ‘did the double’ over San Marino) but to me the greatest piece of tosh in amongst the former Irish gaffer’s quotes came with the idea that ‘we Irish are something a little bit different’ as a reason why Traps couldn’t manage us.

How are we different Stan? Are we unique in that Irish players only understand a high-tempo long ball game? Because that’s all you thought of them in the away games against Slovakia and the Czech Republic anyway. Back when Shay Given was repeatedly asked to hit Kevin Kilbane on the head for someone to run on to. When it didn’t work the first ten times Stan, what were your instructions? ‘Well sure, they’ll hardly expect us to do it again the second half will they?’ Genius. Stone cold genius.

Do the Irish understand how to outfox a Welsh central midfield containing a Championship player and some dude from the MLS? Apparently not, that’s why you played two holding midfielders against Wales at Croke Park. A mighty intellect this man, mighty. What about the myths off the field? That we like a pint? Certainly we do, but Robbie Keane scored 31 goals in the last calendar year while treading a fine dietary line at Spurs. He scored four goals in the entire qualification series for Euro 2008; three against San Marino at home and one in the pointless group finale against Wales where Don Givens brazenly used only one holding midfielder. The cheek of it Stan; but sure at least Keane and everyone else could have a pint when you were manager.

Whatever Stan ‘understands’ about the Irish players led to shambolic training sessions with him huffing and puffing in practice games. It led to tactical incoherence and column writers stumped at finding words for each new low for Irish football. That Trapattoni might make the players understand there’s a better way of doing things might just be beneficial you’d have to think. Can’t see a defence that he sends out conceding six to Cyprus over two games.

Staunton also slagged off the Italian’s knowledge of our players and their talents, or "what they're all about" as he puts it. Is this the Steve Staunton who played Andy Keogh – a striker – at right wing; Steve Finnan – a right back – at left back; John O’Shea every bloody where; Joey O’Brien – a full back – as the midfield anchor; not to mention Kevin Kilbane as a centre forward when San Marino were level with us in injury time?

It really is hard to sum up my lack of respect for Stan when it comes to management; how could anyone have an ounce of it for him after Ireland’s glib showings in the last qualifying tournament? His tetchiness and frankly irritating assumption that the crowd was on his side rather than that of the press was also disgraceful. It wasn’t about sides; we all knew you were doing a terrible job Stan. The press anxiety in every column was due to Staunton’s ineptitude, not some paranoid agenda. Let’s face it, all the press had to report was his feeble mumblings and idiotic decision making. That was damning enough without any window dressing.

Stan is a small man. A small petty man. Bloody hell, thinking about it, he might just fit Leeds like a glove. But now, alas, as I write, it seems Trapattoni will stay in Austria and Billy Davies is one of the favourites for the Ireland job. Dark times all round, particularly for Irish Leeds fans.

Later folks, JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Can Fans Save a Club

2008-02-01 14:12:40

People are idiots. A person can be a fine, fully operational individual with positively genius ideas, but people as a mass, talked of as one entire organism, become a lumbering moron devoid of rational thought. After Mike Ashley made the mistake of becoming one of ‘the people’, he listened to mob idiocy rather than basic sense and appointed Kevin Keegan.

Now, Liverpool seem to be going one step further as fans of the club may well decide to take over the entire team. 100,000 of them. 100,000 Mike Ashley’s with £5,000 investments. Good God, the thought of it. Mark’s post on Ebbsfleet United last November pointed to some of the difficulties but also some of the excitement that can come when fans take over a club. Admittedly, the Liverpool supporters concerned will not be picking the team, and are investing far more than those involved with the Ebbsfleet project, but to me the plan sounds just as far fetched.

The people involved - football business lecturer and Liverpool fan Rogan Taylor, former director of communications at the Premier League Phil French, and lawyer Kevin Jacquiss (who is listed by the BBC as “an expert in launching co-operatives”) – all sound like reasonable individuals to start off the investment. But it all has the air of floating on the stock exchange about it. In the long term that model didn’t work for Spurs or any other club that I can think of.

Right now, it’s claimed this model would have more in common with the Barcelona system of ‘membership’ whereby everyone who pays a yearly fee gets first dibs on tickets, a membership card and a vote in the elections when a new president is being decided. Is this really the way Liverpool wants to go?

To have the club involved in Spanish style club elections where presidents make ludicrous claims of signing the biggest players in the world to sway the voting fans? The kind of tactics that has often left Barcelona in a mess (they’ve had plenty of barren years in amongst their success due to internal turmoil); the kind of politics that left Real Madrid having to be saved by the Spanish Government who bought their training ground for an insanely inflated fee?

David Moores and Rick Parry certainly have to take some blame for where the club is now – on the brink of collapse on the field; turmoil off the field and little hope of any more money coming in for signings. The two scousers spent several years trying to bring investment into the club, turning down many ‘unsuitable’ bids in the process. That’s why when they settled on Hicks and Gillett most Liverpool fans felt they were in the right hands. We had good reason. Surely after years of searching, Moores and Parry had gotten an indication that these were the men to bring the club forward. Both, I feel, are culpable for the massive mess the club now lies in.

All of this has led to this morning’s news about the fan takeover and such headlines - such absolutely outrageous unworkable ideas – show how low the club is feeling at present. At this rate, I’d stake a fair few quid on Liverpool beating United’s 27 years without winning the league. They may even hit 30. After spending the guts of a decade looking for the right fit, Moores and Parry must take a share of blame at least for setting the side back for possibly a further ten years.

Later, JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast tonight where we discuss football jailbirds, Defoe and Cashley's ugly birds on the side as well as much, much more. Subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Dodgy Tattoos and Weekend Preview

2008-01-17 16:14:02

I once met a Geordie with the Newcastle crest tattooed on the top of his bald head and the Newcastle Brown Ale star on the back of his noggin to boot. To put his general state of mind in perspective, I only found out this information after he walked into the pub I was working in and took off his sombrero. His name was Kev. Anyway Kev liked to drink and I couldn’t understand a word he said. Leading me to ask his children to translate his conversational points; with the general response being ‘eh he’d like another beer please’. All in all though, a decent fella.

I don’t really wanna talk much about Newcastle today so instead I’ll just assume that this morning Kev woke up a happy man. Most likely a hungover man as well, but a happy bloke nonetheless due to the return of Kevin Keegan. Personally, I think it’ll be a disaster, and there is a bit of a suspicion that beyond the leery fans BBC caught on camera last night welcoming ‘King Kev’ home, there’s still plenty of people in that area who think this is a ridiculous appointment. Good luck to them and thank god that story is at an end.

Elsewhere in the news today, we have the excellent story of Rocky Baptiste and Havant & Waterlooville heading for Anfield in the fourth round of the FA Cup. They might get hammered but at the very least, this story, along with Luton’s initial draw with the lumbering Liverpool, have made for a decent start to the competition.

Okay, once your side goes out (and sometimes while they’re still in the competition), FA Cup weekends are unbearable (though the odd bet tends to liven things up). Instead of watching decent Premier League action you’re faced with watching Coventry and you hear the word ‘romance’ related to 22 men and a soggy pitch far too often. Actually, yeah… come to think of it, I hate the FA Cup… so down with Havant! And down with Waterlooville too! The poor man’s Trinidad and Tobago.

Looking towards the weekend, thankfully there is no FA Cup in sight but instead a rerun of the fixtures from the first week of this season. United playing Reading away in what could be a tricky assignment; Arsenal are away at Fulham without the threat of Jens Lehmann throwing a few goals in David Healy’s direction; and most intriguingly Spurs face Sunderland.

The latter two produced a horrendously poor opener to the season, only lit up by Michael Chopra’s goal in the last minute – the goal which proved to be the beginning of the ugly, mishandled end of Martin Jol’s reign at Spurs. What’s that coming over the hill Roy? It’s a fucking pasting. I’m predicting a huge win for Spurs here; at least three nil. And after that outrageous prediction, here’s a few quick ones to follow up.

Birmingham v Chelsea: Hmmm…. After last week anything is possible, sod it I’ll go for a draw 2-2.
Blackburn v Middlesbrough: Blackburn back on track and Boro’s form usually dips after any decent result so 2-0.
Fulham v Arsenal: Continuing on this week’s theme of teams managed by guys called Roy losing… 1-3
Portsmouth v Derby: If Portsmouth don’t win this game, they may never score a home goal again. They will though, 2-0
Reading v Man. United: Solid 1-2 win, though that Reading one will be a late consolation. I state this as fact.
Tottenham v Sunderland: See above.
Newcastle v Bolton: The return of… ah forget it. 0-1, just to piss off romantics everywhere.
Wigan v Everton: 1-1 (bad, bad game)
Man. City v West Ham: 1-1 (might be better than last night’s bad, bad game)
Liverpool v Aston Villa: 1-1 (bad, bad times for Pool)

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Podcast this evening folks where we’ll be discussing results, this weeks’ fixtures, Pub Talk featuring Cookie Coleman; Lusty Lita; and eh… Simple Souness. Then, oh yes at last, we’ll be hating Alan Shearer. In fact I think we should do a three week series…

Week 1: Hate Alan Shearer
Week 2: Hate Alan Shearer Harder
Week 3: Hate Alan Shearer with a Vengeance

I can see us finding a wide audience with that. Anyway, it’ll be online tomorrow morning so until then folks.

Later - JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball

Magic Beans

2008-01-10 17:08:37

Fabio Capello talking about the Italian psyche in 2006: “We’re convinced we know more than the next guy.”

Okay, it might be a little cruel but I couldn’t help but think of this quote when I looked at this picture of oul’ Fabio and Stuart Pearce having a chinwag about the England players. True enough, he does preface this with the words, “We Italians are over critical and arrogant, all of us”, but still you’d have to wonder how much of what ‘Psycho’ is telling him really hit home with Fabio?

This is a man with a startling managerial record talking to a fella who managed one of, if not the, most boring Premier League side ever not to get relegated. Last season’s Manchester City were a disgrace to football, and while Pearce’s stock rose somewhat after the U-21 European Championships in Holland last summer, no one really believes he’s a top class coach. Certainly not in the Italian mould of great thinkers anyway.

Capello apparently is still searching for an Englishman to compliment his backroom staff but that search may prove as difficult as the grand charade that is the hunt for a new Irish manager. Think of an Englishman with tactical nous (god I hate that phrase but alas, it fits). Anyone leap forward? If this was ten years ago the unfortunate truth is the choice would most likely have been Howard Wilkinson; in Sven’s wisdom he hired Steve McClaren and Sammy Lee. Therefore finding a suitable man for this role has never been, and will never be, an easy choice.

My candidate, should Capello really want someone English-born to run ideas by, is the man he beat to the job – Harry Redknapp. An Englishman who understands good football, loves talking tactics and from an early age (check out The Times podcast interview with him from a few weeks back) has understood how out-thinking an opponent is worth as much as pace or power.

While I doubt Redknapp would take the job, I’d still see him as the outstanding candidate so it’s back over to Capello and his background staff to persuade the Portsmouth manager or someone of similar knowledge (though I can’t think of anyone) to get on board.

The phrase ‘slim pickings’ defines the search for the Ireland manager at present, or at least in those linked with the post in the press. The same names recycled again and again. Today the Irish Independent led with Gerard Houllier as the choice of the three man committee of Don Howe, Roy Houghton and Don Givens. Last Wednesday it was Kenny Dalglish. Mick McCarthy has even had to rule himself out. At this stage, the committee have been in business for several weeks and the question has to be asked – who exactly have they talked to?

Terry Venables confirmed last week that he’s had no approach. Graeme Souness too has ruled himself out due to no approach (in fact he thought the job had been given to Venables… surely something that could have been cleared up with Houghton during the ad breaks on The Premiership’s Saturday night show on RTE?). So who have they been speaking to? Howard Kendall?

We now know that it will be up to FAI president John Delaney and another blazer to negotiate Ireland’s fixture list for the World Cup qualifiers at a meeting on 16 January. It’s a dark thought and the image of Delaney coming back to Abbottstown with a bag of magic beans and 10 away ties continues to crop up every now and then.

Capello’s search is certainly the easier one here as he’s really only making a conciliatory move to appease the FA and the English media who still, quite unbelievably, question his credentials to manage a side going nowhere. Ireland’s three men committee you’d suspect are merely seeing how many hotel lunches they can get on the FAI cheque book before anyone actually asks what they’re up too.

Cheers - JJ

Okey Doke Football Podcast is available every Friday morning, subscribe here: http://feeds.feedburner.com/OkeyDokeFootball