Tottenham Chase the Cat Killer and Other Stories to Scare Your Children...
Tuesday, 07 July 09, 02:11 AM · Comments(16)
It looks as if someone has beaten me to it. A few days ago I made a threat to start making up news if something didn’t happen soon. I aimed to write headlines based on a rather crude version of ‘Who’s in the Bag?’- a game I used to play at university. All you need is a copy of The Sun, a pair of scissors, a small empty sack and a blindfold.
Here’s one I made earlier:
“Luis Figo is Wanted by Spurs!”
Amazing.
Even more amazing is that I didn’t even make this one up. Somebody else did and put it on the internet of all things. Imagine. Judging by its lofty ranking on the bonkers-o-meter, the story appears to be centred on the same ‘blindfold and a bag’ system I had considered. Obviously I shall be demanding royalties. Or the cat goes in the oven.
Talking of cats; Figo himself is no stranger to misdemeanours with the feline species. A couple of years ago he was part of a hit-and-run scandal with a car park loitering Garfield. Luis, apparently, believed the cat was bringing bad luck to the Inter team who had suffered a string of poor results. Obviously the bastard had to go and Figo nailed him with his 4x4.
One dead cat.
Is the 36 year-old Portuguese star coming to Spurs? I’ll eat my shoe if he does.
The story goes that he and Harry played golf together. Once. And spoke. For a bit.
Done deal, I’d say.
Until we meet again...
**No animals were hurt in the writing of this blog. Apart from a sea-gull who I kicked in the face.**
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WhoFramedRuelFox
GB
A hearty expedition into the mind of a troubled, easily swayed Tottenham fan.
16 Comments · Add yours
You have to love journo's for this kind of story, in any other topic they would be sacked for making lies up. Still expect a 'Figo snubs Spurs' headline to follow by the end of the week and some half baked letter from him saying it was a great opportunity but he'd rather put his feet up and watch the PL on the TV.
Funny thing is at 36 and having no pace whatsoever, I'd still take him over Pennant!!!
Roll on some proper signings and adios Zokora et al.
Not a seagull fan myself so complaints from me
I can only assume the seagull wasn't in full flight...
Figo, Pennant and this morning Bellamy. So much for 3 signing that will improve the team!
I accept this is probably just lazy journalism like the rubbish about only 3 players being safe from being sold that was dumped on us at the weekend. These links just leave me empty.
Every year we talk about getting people in early so we don't ruin the start of our season with late additions (or in the case of last year, exits) but here we are in the same old pattern. The old link to the superstar names to ensure the season tickets sign on for another year. Waiting for half of Real Madrid, Ashley Young, Joe Cole and a couple of starlets we can pin our dreams to and yet I fear we'll end up with Bellamy, Barton, Lee Hughes and Tony Adams.
Come on Levy pull one out the bag for us, we know it's possible. You've done it before, you've got to strike a balance between playing hardball for price (buying and selling) and making a mess of preseason with late sales and Rasiaks.
Anxious as I am for some juicy gossip, I thought the Figo rumour was incredidly stupid. I'm just out of bed and hear we might be back in for that thug Bellamy. Not a good start to my day.
Has anyone got any thoughts on utd's Nani? Could be surplus to requirement at old trafford! Worth a cheeky bid maybe? I know his forms a bit up and down but he's hardley had a decent run in the team.
Nani? Let him eat cake.
Reply to HarryHotspur:
He was at the bins again. I chased him up the road like Zokora chasing a pidgeon.
No doubt his mates will be back tomorrow.
Reply to Luka14:
here, here.
Reply to jonathanhotspur:
The Mirror printed that garbage about Bellamy didn't they? I pray it's piss-water.
Reply to JohnnyB:
Are you suggesting I kicked an already wounded sea-gull?
.
I'm frankly shocked at the allegation
Reply to COYS77:
I like your work.
Reply to Luka14:
Agree with you there, pal. I'd take Figo in a wheelchair over Pennant.
What's the latest on the Madrid lot? Is that over?
Reply to WhoFramedRuelFox:
We were keen in January so I wouldn't be surprised. I'd be disgusted.
Tuncay has got to be worth a shot. The Toffees are pondering a £4m move.
I think we will go for Joe Cole and probably Kenny Pineapple. And I'm half expecting AC Milan to bid for Modric.
Reply to ledleysodeadly:
With the possible exception of Heinze, I reckon so.
I think Rudolph will bid for Huntelaar. Fuck it anyway.